One man's mind said to his consciousness:
"Now that I understand what you're trying to do, and have in fact had a taste myself of your periodic successes therein, I want to tell you that I will, with pleasure, submit to your expanded authority, and only ask that whenever I must so be dispatched that you kill me as quickly as is possible."
And consciousness replied, “'Twas unnecessary for you to ask since 'tis exactly what I am attempting to do from each moment to the next.”

A man who tells his "philosophy of life" doesn't actually have one....
that is, he doesn't know how to live,
so he adopts a scheme of how to.

Social Custom On A Stick:
Everybody loves a man who "knows what's going on,"
except of course those who have no idea "what's going on."

A History You Never Hear:
First, man believed in silence,
then he believed in sound,
next he believed in the sun,
then he believed in the forests,
then he believed in gods,
next he believed in submission,
then he believed in his own abilities
and domination of
silence,
sound,
the woods and the sky;
and soon he will once again be looking back to the sun.

At the routine, mental level, there is no substitute for ignorance! No, not even knowledge! Okay, there is one originality, but who the hell's ever gonna go to all that trouble!? (Know what I mean?)

One Friday one man took some of his hormones to the library with him, and after they'd looked around for awhile, they said to him, "If you don't mind me saying so you people could sure save yourselves a lot of needless effort with all the separatin' and classifyin' cause everything in here is fiction."

A reader sends along this question for today's guest expert:
"Dear Professor Exacto:
Does the ratio of muscle-to-fat, physically have any relationship to the ration of thought-to-consciousness, mentally? P.S. Please excuse the lack of sufficient postage, but I didn't realize the letter weighed too much until after I had put it in the box. Yours," etc.

Baby Ken asked Baby Barbie,
"Wanna play some 'Make Believe' again?"
And she said, "Sure what'll it be this time, Mama & Daddy, Doctor & Nurse?"
And he replied, "No, this time let's go for the ultimate. Let's play Being Civilized."

 

Even with the assistance of alcohol, religion and drugs, most men would still find it difficult to "make-it-through-the-night-of-life" were they not able to believe that they are individually, in some way, someone, somehow "special." This in fact is such an integral part of normal mental existence that men do, from the other corner of their mind, simultaneously condemn the excesses of pride, vanity and egotism. And of course, excel in your condemnation more than the norm, and be considered just that much more "special."

 

In times of stress the dumb will inevitably begin to refer to themselves physically. The dumb live under constant stress.

Those who don't "know who they are" will be all the time wantin' to tell you "who they are."
"Hey chump! What chu lookin' at!?!"