"I enjoy the way you ridicule people." 
    You don’t get it, sir.

"I like the way you pick on the idea of Enlightenment." 
     You don’t get it, madam.

"You’re too harsh." 
      You don’t get it.

"You’re too humorous." 
       You don’t get it either and this is a waste of time.

******************************************************
 
 

One man lived by a rat hole. 
At first he was fascinated by the rats; 
  then annoyed by them, 
  then fascinated again, and finally annoyed again. 

He tried to stop them from coming out of the hole -- 
  --  he failed. 
He tried to control their appearance -- 
  --  he failed. 
He took a course in Rat Suppression  -- 
  --  but to no avail. 
The whole affair became an obsession with the man. 

He finally found his solution. 
He would stand by the hole, and watch the top of each rat’s head just as it was about to emerge from the opening. 
 
 
 

Humanity lives on bread and soup. 
A few try to brew up a clear broth, but for a long time mistakenly go about it by mixing up a 
chunky stew. 
 

************************************************** 
 

A man arrived at a river. 
He decided he wanted to cross. 
The waters were calm. 
The man could not swim good. 
When he got in, his thrashing about so disturbed the water that crossing became problematic. 
 

     * The rats talk about you behind your back. * 
 

**************************************************
 
 

One man wanted to see further than everyone else. 
He could not find anyone to teach him how since 
  no one could see any further than they could see. 
So he undertook to teach himself how. 

For the first twenty seven years his method was 
  to constantly stick his fingers in his eyes. 

   He eventually learned better  --   eventually. 

         He was one of the more insightful ones. 
 
 
 
 
 

You cannot learn to speak French while speaking Spanish  -- 
 --    nor Rat  while calling to them in Human. 
 
 

****************************************************
 
 
 

"You speak too metaphorically." 
        You don’t get it.

"You speak too bluntly." 
         You don’t get it.

"I’m sure that you will benefit from my 
 constructive criticism." 
 

***************************************************
 
 
 

In the north of the forest, berries are ten dollars. 
In the south of the forest, berries are five dollars. 
To go from north to south costs seven dollars. 

…..(plus you can’t get there from anywhere.) 
 

      * Rats cannot swim, but they can drown you. * 
 

**************************************************
 

A son would ask his father for instruction. 
The elder responded to his requests until 
  the boy’s time for a diet of ignorance had run out, 
  and he never told him anything else. 
 

   The lad then began to stand by his father’s hole, 
    and look at the top of his head just as he was 
    about to emerge, 
    and learned all he needed to know. 
 

****************************************************
 
 
 

On one planet there is nothing more fun than trying to, "Whoodle-e-do." 
Only the most refined & intelligent attempt it. 
Everyone fails at it, but all who try it, love it. 

Finally, one being succeeded. 
He did so by privately correcting 
   the name of the thing. 
      No one else ever suspected it was in error. 
 

* Rats speak many languages --  but not his. * 
 

*************************************************
 

Busy, busy, busy. 
Busy, busy, busy. 
One man stayed --  busy, busy, busy  -- 
     trying to wake up. 

Why would a man who wants to wake up 
     NOT stay busy, busy, busy with the effort?! 

                  You tell me. 

                          Not your rats  --   you. 

***********************************************
 
 
 

Though they profess otherwise regarding material goods, 
ordinary people are easily pleased. 

The few, privately extra ordinary ones are not. 
Pleasing them in fact, is almost impossible. 

Fact: Only a rat would say, "almost." 
 

    On one world all the inhabitants were dissatisfied, 
        and no one knew why. 
     Everyone had theories --  but no one knew. 

     One guy knew. 
     He realized that while thoughts experience 
         complete satisfaction from their comprehension 
         of outside problems and their solution, 
          they are forever dissatisfied over their inability 
          to comprehend themselves. 
 

You will never find a rat before a mirror, 
serenading itself: 
                   "I think that I shall never see, 
                    a thing that says that it is me." 

*****************************************************
 
 

When you first wake up in the morning in bed, 
don’t have a radio on; 
don’t roll over and talk to someone, 
and above all --  don’t think about, "waking up." 
   Instead:  picture the heads of rats as they are about to 
   come out of their hole. 

**************************************************
 
 

"I am sure that you can help me with my problem." 
   Still don’t get it.
 
 
 
 

In one land, peace prevailed. 
Then one day somebody said something. 
Everybody was forced to leave and get a job. 
Then a flood came. 
Then everybody’s tongue caught on fire. 
Then everybody got lost. 
Then everybody got suckered into 
   believing that one guy knew the way home. 
As they trailed after him everybody began inventing 
   washing machines, tv sets, canned food, and 
    long distance phone calls. 
Most of the people forgot about home, 
    and the fact that the guy leading them 
    didn’t know where he was either. 
A few of the crew casually wandered away from 
    the mob, 
    and nothing was ever heard of them again. 
    …(Except for a couple of ’em who 
         didn’t  wake up.) 

Moral:  Well, that’s obvious: 
                              Keep your mouth shut. 

***************************************************
 
 

A father took a son to a lake and told him: 
"I am going to teach you how to not drown. 
When you get in, be still, and even though you will periodically bob up and down slightly, 
your natural buoyancy will ultimately  keep you upright and the top half of your body  out of the water." 

The boy tried it, and although it did go as 
his father had said, he still cried out: 
"But it is frightening," 
and his father told him to be quiet. 
But the lad continued to call out in fear, 
And the elder cautioned him again harshly 
about doing so. 

But the boy cried out a couple more times 
before he sunk. 

You got it!  --    Keep your damn mouth closed. 
 

       * Rats do not desert a sinking ship – 
          rats cause the sinking of ships. * 
 

******************************************************
 
 

"I approve of your proper criticisms of man." 
    Only a tone deaf rodent would use the words,
    "proper" & "criticism" in the same sentence.
                 Still not gettin’ it.
 
 
 
 
 

One boy would wake up on Mondays, Wednesdays, 
And Fridays feeling happy. 
On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, 
he would waken feeling sad. 

After repeated complaints about the situation 
his mother told him to switch the happy days with 
the sad ones, 
and he did, 
and everything got okay. 

    * Rats do not carry watches -- 
             but they cause humans to do so. * 
                     Busy, busy, busy.

****************************************************
 

A man showed up who said he could lead them 
out of their lostness. 
They followed him to a merry go round. 
  And every time they circled past him 
  he looked more and more ratlike. 
 
 
 

"Some of your allegories make more sense than others. 
Some of them however make no sense to me at all." 
   Focus on those sir --  just on those.
   ….(We’re finally getting somewhere.)

A man who will listen to himself talk 
is an idiot with no need for I.D. 
 
 

*******************************************************
 
 
 

For his special birthday a father said to a son: 
"My gift to you is that I am 
never going to talk to you again." 
  And in furtherance of the celebration 
  the boy gave to himself the activity of 
  teaching rats to look for their own head as 
  they are about to 
  emerge from the hole. 
 
 

If the whole affair of, 
"Hearing about waking up," 
then, "Trying yourself to awaken," 
then getting’ all,  "Frustrated & confused," 
then trying to just , "Forget about it," 
   if it all wasn’t so much  rib splittin’, 
   one-of-a-kind, strictly 
   private-&-personal fun 
I don’t think that people as sanely weird as the few 
would even bother with it. 
 
 
 
 
 

        Happy Saturday.
                Loosen up.
                The only area of constriction 
                 significant to an alert man 
                  is the one around the hole where the rats are. 

                 And here’s all you really have to remember about that:
                 if you will constantly keep your eye on the
                 top of their emerging heads
                 you won’t keep getting sucked into the hole
                 as they come out.
 
 

(Once you catch on to what I‘m actually talking about, your face is liable to shatter from the grinnin’.)
             J A N
 
 
 

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