The Strangest Thing In This Universe.
An unquestioned marker of one’s consciousness and humanity is the
critiquing-of, and attempting-to-improve oneself,
which goes on endlessly without men ever considering that it is an impossible illusion: you cannot singularly find-fault-with-yourself as seems to occur;
no --  there must be two of you: one finding fault and another who is at fault;
for if there was but one of you in this matter, you would instantly change that
about which you find fault, or in the alternative:
you would be unable to find any fault with you.
The swift might care to connect this up with the commonly felt,
though never specifically identified feeling men have of a discrepancy between
their feelings and their thoughts.
The undeniable, inherent sensation in men’s brains of a split somehow existing
in their very being comes not from nothing,
nor from so-called, psychologically-pertinent, life experiences.
  Intelligence depends on instinct:
   (in Daily News speak: Neurons depend on hormones  --  thoughts on blood chemistry).
    Project: Locate precisely within you, where is (the), “you.”
    Note: There are a couple of obviously promising undertakings which
                no one is interested in pursuing.
 

Life will take almost anything from a cow  --
as long as it keeps on mooing and stays with the herd.
    “True  --  I may not know what I’m doing, but dig it: I don’t have to!      (And, Moo to you!)”
 

Conversation.
"The sun of every solar system feels it is the center of its universe."
    “But it is!................oh, I get it.”
 

The warning on the side of all beliefs reads:
“May cause dizziness, nausea, constipation, disorientation, diarrhea,
heart irregularities, and temporary bouts of being dead,”
a notice which normally goes unread,
and which appears only in another, superior universe.
 

Business News.
What many commercial concerns promise,
only the waking–up enterprise can actually deliver on: “A Daily Special.”
 

The ultimate charge was: “Solicitation Of Gluttony,”
which elicited from the alleged perpetrator, a chortle.
 

The Sound First Heard The Instant After The REAL Big Bang:
    “Hey!  --  you talkin’ to me?!”
 

Fact For All Speakers & Writers.
If you are not clearly angry about something,
people have great difficulty telling what you’re about.
    (“I don’t reckon me saying: ‘six foot one, two hundred pounds’ would help, huh?!”)
 

Cows with no individual future frequently feign fascination with the herd’s history.
    (“Hey!  --  you obviously don’t know who you’re dealing with:
       my grandfather was part of the very first knockwurst!”)
 

A man who found himself in need of a new certain organ called all his
friends and family together (assuming he had any) and said:
“If you really loved me, someone would die now and donate yours to me,”
a statement which none could say they rejected  --
yet none found attractive.
    (“Are you actually talking about brain cells here?”)
 

As they stood gazing out across the great field, and those gathered thereon,
a father said to a son: “Those who love to go on and on about how free they are
sure have some sense of humor, huh kid?!”
 

What every special cow needs is a non bovine ally.
   (“By, ‘ally’ do you mean: ideas?”)
An animal’s instinct is its intelligence;
men’s instinct is normally  their intelligence;
question: Is that good enough for you?
When real push comes to actual shove,
the rebel’s not interested in discussing the weather  --  or: pushing and shoving.
(Contrast this to the fact that ordinary cows rehearse their funerals  --  think about it!  --   is that not delicious?!  --  they rehearse their own funerals and call it: their life.)
“How do you tell the difference between a normal synapse and one with narcolepsy?”
...................”Oh!  --  I’m supposed to answer that?”
 

Someone who really trusts you will lie on their back and let you rub their belly  --
    “Here life!  --  commear boy! “
On one world you’re given a choice to be either a sheep or a shearer.
    (“You’re talking again about in some better universe, right?”)
 

After years of internal intrigue and infighting,
the titular head of one state called all of the people into a room,
slammed the door on them,
and fled town.
 

“Knock knock.”
     “Who’s there?”
“Torpid synapses.”
      “Who?”
“Torpid synapses.”
      “Who?”
“TORPID SYNAPSES, dammit!  --  who d’ya think it is that keeps asking!”
Only those with but city smarts think that answers can come from outside them.
    “And you don’t mean concerning machinery?!”
That is why monasteries will never be as popular as trade schools.
    “You mean if we lived in a more enlightened universe?!”
One differently configured.
     “Pardon me for intruding, but when you say, universe, do you really mean, mind?”
On one planet there is no Return/Refund Desk for metaphors.
    “Don’t you mean to say that on one planet there is such a desk?!”
Yes.........of course.
 

On still another world there is an organization with the name:
“Thoughts Are Your Friend,” but since they have no irony there,
the group can’t get off the ground.
Unrealized, the primary sport in our universe is: feelings vs. thoughts.
“I take it that your insertion of, ‘vs.’ is an evidencing that our planet has no such lack.”
Tip: If you clearly don’t comprehend what is going on,
insist that you see afoot: a g-r-e-a-t struggle.               (That’ll rope ‘em in every time in Boobville.)