So mused a chap:
“A man’s consciousness-cum-personality is like the president in a democracy;
once in office he has the power to do almost as he pleases regardless of the
people’s desires, but who can, of course, at the next election be removed from his position by those same people.”  Then another voice in his head said:
“Your personality is in no position resembling that,”
and he had to shrug his agreement.
(This is the sort of episode which, when reported, many readers wonder why.)
 
 
 

A father said to a son:
“Everyone has a personal prize that is without equal in the entire universe  –
and yet it is not really theirs  –   neat huh?  –   even a little weird maybe?”
 
 
 

One man pulls fish out of the sea everyday and bites off their tails
(even though they have someone else’s name on them).
     (“Excuse me, but did you say one man or all men?”)
 
 
 

The imposed attitude on one world:
“Inner change is more trouble than it’s worth.”
(This replaced the earlier: “Inner change is not possible without impossible effort!”)
 
 
 

One man said:
“Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it unless it’s funny.”
    “What about enlightenment?”
“Then it’ll be funny.”
 
 
 

Having two eyes may not be the proper number for seeing what’s really going on.
 
 
 

The god in charge of one world gave the creatures spiritual teachers
as the price they had to pay for the pleasures of sex and high-fat-content ice cream.
 
 
 

As an April Fool’s present one father said to a son:
“You spend forty years believing you can eventually figure things out;
only to finally realize that you can’t figure out anything
except what trying to figure things out is.”
(The kid agreed that it was not a gift appropriate to the day.)
 
 
 

Coming from somewhere over that way is a guy who acts as though
everything he says is some sort of secret.
(He says its benefit can only be understood if you try it for yourself.)
 
 
 

“Hormones knowing the answer to everything
is what spawns neurons to ask all their questions.”
    “Of what use is that bit of wisdom!?”
“See!”
 
 
 

One guru says he will wake you up at a sizable discount if he can put up a sign
in your front yard for a month promoting his activity.
 
 
 

Meanwhile at Space Base Seven School, the children skipped and sang:
    “The secret’s in the blood,
      the secret’s in the air,
      we could have gone ahead and said,
      the secret’s everywhere  –   (but that’s so predictable  –   plus: it’s mostly in one place).”
(Upon hearing this the High Principal directed:
“Either squash those little nippers like ants  –
or give ‘em each their own Star Fleet command.”)
Regarding all potential building material in the cranium galaxy:
the conscious crane of the brain learns quickly: Use it or move it out:
it’s either a construction site or a dump.
(A nice feature of metaphors is they continue to spawn themselves long after reality has gone to bed.)
 
 
 

One chap attributes much of his past miscomprehension of things to the fact that
for years when people were saying: “Genes will out,” he thought they said:
“Genes WEAR out.”
 
 
 

Medical And Psychological Update.
Many facts are reported in the various important medical and psychological journals. (But mainly in just one of them).
 
 
 

A father on another world, when he did not want the children to do a certain thing,
he (being wise to their ways) would tell them to be sure to do it,
and they (being wise to nothing) would do it
(which at least resulted in but one of them being baffled and frustrated
[as opposed to how it goes on this planet.])
    (“You know what I hate about science fiction: there’s too much science in it.”)
 
 
 

One man mused to himself:
“Well ole sport: we know we’re back home when being a pea brain is no disadvantage.”
A reader emails:
“Having viewed my own x-rays I know for a fact that my brain is larger than a pea;
does this exempt me from whatever is being above inferred about man?
Yours Hopefully,” etc.
 
 
 

Genealogy Not Necessarily Congenial.
Introducing random chemicals into your brain
will not help support a claim of kinship to the DuPonts.
(“Okay, but what if I said for centuries my family has been in manger construction?
   –   or bodhi tree conservation?  –   or hemlock refining?”
Verbally associating yourself with the names of those whose words impress you
takes the one person tango to dizzying new heights.
 
 
 

The Rebel's Monthly received this submission:
“Being of outlier mind can be more fun than riding the rails nude through Siberia
in the heart of winter,”
which arrived after they had made the decision not to publish anything which contains the word, can.
(Can you understand why?)
 
 
 

Those who like to say that they are a survivor,
do so for lack of any other claim of achievement.
 
 
 

The Latest Word On Conspiracies.
Without conspiracy, the world of man would not turn.
 
 
 

A lady writes:
“Dear Dr. Exacto: Is old age a fitting death for a rebel?”
Dear Madam: Do you mean physically or otherwise?
 
 
 
 

                                     The Universe is to farming as Life is to an ear of corn.
                                     The conscious part of the brain is the sole soil in which
                                      the grandest harvest is the one nearest to non-existent.
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Jan's Daily Fresh Real News