The Mayor of one city recently delivered the following address:
“Citizens  –  subjects  –  good people  –  my friends:
The city will never let you down!  (but if it does);
you always have your family to fall back on  –
and if they ever forsake you, you have your religion to support you  – and if it ever abandons you, you always have your own mind in which to seek refuge  –  and god forbid, but if IT should ever fail you, just remember: you heard it here first!”

The following is a twelve word defining of ordinary men’s recountable history
of their inner, intangible life:
“A mooring line safely securing a solid lead submarine to the nearest shore.”

Life’s number is unlisted to help keep you from taking it all too personally.

One of the speakers in city park’s area designated for such activity
recently had this to say to a crowd that had there gathered:
“The beginning of all wisdom is sarcasm,” and a gent called out:
     “So that would make the conclusion of all wisdom  –  what?”
And he replied: “MORE sarcasm.”

A father told a son:
“Let me give you another perspective of how Life is by two facts:
One is: Mathematics and logic could be said to be the height of man’s intellectual achievements, and two: No one likes mathematics and logic except those who make their living therefrom.”

A man with a motto has certainly saved some time
(not to mention something else that we won't go into just now).

As he lay in the grass gazing upward, a man mused:
“I perceive knowledge to be like airplanes, continually circling the skies over man’s head, and my mind like a landing strip that has been torn up and effectively rendered unusable by those I once believed to be my intellectual friends and instructors.”
   (This, in professional aeronautical terms, is known as the Tough Shit Syndrome.)

Men with shaky faith in the reliability of the bus schedules given them often take to preaching to outbound passengers at the Departure Gates.
   (“If you can't fully wake-up, yet can't go completely back to sleep,
      why not help others feel as uncomfortable as you!?”)
Television stations frequently announce that they are not responsible for the content of anything that appears on any of their programs, “After all,” says the manager of one,
“Why should we be held responsible for what appears on our screens when those who watch us are themselves not,  regarding what they see on the screens of their own minds!?”
    A man –  looked toward the city,
    then  –  looked toward new ideas,
    then thought: “If you're not planning on going anywhere anyway,
    does it really make any difference who you listen to?”

Pondered a chap with glasses:
”Since men commonly think of death as a place of no problems,
what then do they expect their life to consist of?”

Asks one fellow: “If I did stop constantly referring to myself,
is there any guarantee that then ‘I’ would disappear?”

When he heard someone in the city described as being a “Motivational Speaker,”
a chap pondered: “Considering what goes on here, my question is:
‘Motivate people to do WHAT!?’”

Those who defend themselves against intangible attacks have had their head shaved without going to a barber shop.
   (One man’s life was made unduly complicated by his frequent confusion between “public” and “pubic.”)

Whenever someone would disparage his mental agility,
one guy would thus console his self:
“Well, just how dense can I be!?  -- my mind's been able to outfox me for fifty years.”

Even though it is initially clear to all, as the setting becomes more sophisticated, it is easier for men to pretend ignorance of this ever-true reality:
The more basic (the more hormonally rather than neurally driven) be a person  -- the more belligerent he will be.
  (“Another one of those facts that if grasped aright would explain much of what
       ordinary geniuses swear is inexplicable, eh what!?”)

As he walked past the vast section of Biographies in a library, a man pondered:
“Since I have no interest in remembering my own life,
why would I be interested in remembering someone else’s?”

Ordinary minds attempting to explain man (and themselves)
is like the tails of kites trying to reel themselves in.
Notes a chap upon hearing this: “What really distresses me is an allegory that almost makes sense to me.....but is missing something (?!?).....and then I wonder if what is lacking is my own ability to focus and hold my attention on the subject of the allegory.            Truly a disturbing possibility to consider.”

“Dear Advice Doctor: My friends say I'm crazy.”
    “Dear Sir: Your friends are crazy;”
“Dear Doctor: I've always suspected that!”
    “Sir: Now you're crazy.”