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And now from our trusty ole Science Desk:
The human mind can actually do two things at once --
but with most people, both of them are usually a waste of good neural juices.
A reader with a professed degree of some sort states:
"If that is good science then I'll eat a wasp and burn my lab coat!"
"Definition Time," then: Science: Art that got way-y-y too "serious."
(And all of those with paint under their nails, and I.Q.'s of less than eighty cheered their heartily agreement.)

 

 

And now for some, Outdoors, Intellectual Hunting News:
Man is the only creature caught in a trap in which he is the trap he is caught in. "Billy Bob, I'm a'tellin' you that 'man' is one tough cookie! Now gimmie that box of shells and some more of those beans."

 

 

Shortly after the flood, and the Garden burned down, and Zeus got that real-l-l bad paper cut on his tongue, many men all over the planet began to mysteriously, simultaneously declare: "I shall kill any man I find who is dumber than I am."
And immediately life had to impose the injunction against suicide.

 

 

During the celebration on, Happy People Day, the people happily cried out: "The city's the churn -- and we are the butter." Man's collective civilization is like a giant grass mower, cutting off everybody's head -- leaving a level, pleasant lawn for all. And one ordinary man responds:
"I don't get-it! -- I'm ordinary and I don't want to get-it!"

 

 

Words between father & son:
"You shouldn't laugh at other people."
"Why? -- too unkind?"
"No -- too expensive."

 

 

And this, from the old Dialogues Desk:
"If you don't make men think something is wrong they won't try to do anything." "Jeeze that's weird!"
"Well, not really, it's actually quite normal for hormones and other silent creatures, it's just when you get into the verbal world of man that it starts to sound spooky."
"Jeeze, that's weird."
Friends and viewers let this be a lesson to you:
Do not call "progress," weird, or spooky unless you are weird and spooky.

 

 

Many times you can tell a real thinker
something you know will make him laugh
that's not actually funny.

 

 

Okay, for all you viewers who called in on the Request Hot Line, we'll play this one for you now from the Definitions File: Progress, As-Is With The Collective:
A bus going faster and faster -- full of dead folks.

 

 

Man told his child: "Thing about acting critical is that to some you'll appear more intelligent than you are with no added cost to you...unless a real thinker happens to be watching...and you put a price on humiliation."
Later he added to the lad: "Feel free to use what I have said, as might apply in your own head."

 

 

And now, our Education Desk -- Re-Visited & Re-Trashed:
What ordinary people ordinarily know is what mainly keeps them so...ordinary. Rule Regarding Collective Thinking: Garbage in -- specialists out.

 

 

Were not man's hormones bred with the urge to speak,
we would have no "institutions."
Whilst he yet grows something locally grown
must always seem larger than man.

 

 

"Reservations, Concerns, & Caution -- (What Ho!) -- Afoot":
Says one man: "I fear that if I keep fooling around with this 'trying-to-think-for-myself' stuff, I'll drive myself sane!"

 

 

Fact: Forces not going anywhere will always offer to take you with them.
Fact: The collective does not go far enough in one life-time to be of much use to a thinker.
(Except of course, as a reference point.)

 

 

While everyone feels "incompleted,"
some believe that death will somehow "finish the job."

 

 

 
  J