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"The test results are back but you don't wanna hear 'em." Such is what ranks with many as "the good news." Think about it, wear it over the week-end, drive it around for awhile, see how your family and neighbors like it, then get back to me.
(Chances are that we can help you re-establish your credit.)

 

More News Directly-From The City:
Only those who want to "do better" will try to "do better,"
and those who try to "do better" seem then the most able to do worse.
On the "Q.T." and just between you and me,
I think that the city has its own special notion of "justice."
(And I further suspect that to it "justice" is merely one of the many synonyms for "operational.")

 

According to sacred legend in this one universe, one of their historical
"thinking heroes" once stopped and thought:
"Which would I prefer?
1) To be dipped in a lake of boiling shit?
2) To offer another man advice?
3) Or, to have my nails trimmed?"

 

Buoyed by the success of his previous book (which we reviewed in The News)
this one author has written a sequel, entitled:
"12 Steps That Will Also Have
Absolutely No Effect On Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior."
One man (who worked in the shirt department) had as he personal, guiding motto in life, these words; "You can't keep a good man down! Oh sure -- sometimes you might get him down -- and sometimes you may even keep him down -- but he won't like it, one little bit!" On this one planet -- everyone was forced to write a book -- then everybody was forced to read everybody else's book; after that it was no longer necessary to tell everybody not to write so many books.

 

A well-known public figure was standing on a city corner when a kid rushed up and said: "Hey -- aren't you -- 'so-&-so'?" And the man nodded "Yes" that he was, and the excited lad grabbed his hand in a vigorous shake and exclaimed: "Wow! -- what a treat! -- you're one of my favorite people in the whole wide world!" And the man replied: "What a coincidence -- sometimes I'm mine too."

 

In response to several stories earlier this week, a reader emailed us:
"I for one (my friend) have never seen a red bird in a blue bird costume!"
A few minutes later we received this fax from the same source:
"After a quick review of what I wrote you, I've decided that you should scratch it." Do we by any chance, have anyone from the communications industries here with us tonight who might actually understand what just transpired!?

 

 

Morality:
Housebreaking the "boogie."

 

 

During one of their private, inter-family "Genetic Elocution" lessons, a father so told his son: "Never refer to yourself in the third person unless you are either of: royal blood, regal bearing, or are an actual, 'third person.'"
Thinker's Tip: The above noted restrictions are inapplicable to those also who have three or more minds at the same time.
Query: Do "original ideas" have a father?

 

 

The scientific theory is that if you whine enough you can sell anything. The noise you hear is not your stock in certainty falling, but rather the sound of institutions rolling over in everyone's graves, on top of them, again!
Note From Our Reader's Guide: In case you missed it: The second part of that last story was connected to the first part in that: If one cow cannot whine enough, a whole herd, an institution, as it were can! Now do you bleedin' get it!? Thank you. You may now relax and go back to sleep.

 

 

Notice To All Employees:
You can be pretty much of a non-thinker,
and still be relatively happy...
(that is, if life wants you to be.)

 

A Brief (But Not Too, Too Brief) Survey Of Man By Way Of A Definition:
Gossip: Taking note of specific eccentricities so as to better ignore the bland generalities.
(Put in layman's terms): Most people would rather see and discuss a bloody car wreck than a reflective, point-blank-wall. "Hey, noted one man's mind, "I'm dull enough as it is without making it worse by thinking about what brought me to this condition!"
Herd...herd...did someone say "herd"!? A woman looked over her newspaper to the man and asked: "Is it possible to spell 'everybody' without using an 'I'?"

 

 

Whenever this one man's mind would think of something really funny about ordinary life, he'd remind it: "Smile when you say that, pardner."
And a serious viewer out there says: "I don't get it! I simply don't get it! But shit! I don't 'get' anything else either so what's the big-deal!? That’s over-and-out from this end."
(One pleasant aspect of communication with the serious is that it is always simple, and there are seldom any "surprises.")

 
  J