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"Now for some initial results from the qualifying laps at this week's
"Veterinarian Races":
A brain that don't,
Entertain;
Will surely give its
Owner pain.

 

 

Related Test Question, #17:
Why do not more animals seek prescriptions for Valium, and other central nervous system depressants?
A rat snuggled up close to itself and said:
"Are you glad to see me, or is that a thought in your pocket?!"
Auxiliary Test Question 34:
Why do not more of our animal brothers have mental problems -- or a sense of humor? A man ran his brain through an airport metal detector -- then looked at the x-ray picture of it and wondered:
"Is that thing actually operational in me, or is it just glad to be back home?!"

 

 

A woman who came to pick up a carburetor mused, as she stood in line,
"Why do men not learn special lessons from the locally obvious?
The past is 'shakey' just so people won't rely on it so much."

 

 

A reader inquires:
"You so often refer to 'tumors,' and I'm wondering, do you always specifically mean 'brain' tumors?"
Hey, sir what other kinds would be of any interest or fun to talk about!?
The infantry commander nodded toward one of his comrades and noted;
"I like-e-e a man who can, 'think on his feet'!"
And a passing orderly got confused, "Did he say 'think with his feet'!?"
The head of the "Neighborhood Defenseless Watch" reminded the assembled: Remember: "Tumors don't cause rumors -- men do -- and men can stop them!" And a resident of Sycamore Court got confused,
"Does he mean that men can stop rumors or, tumors?"
And that reader adds: "I don't believe I'll be writing to you, ever again."

 

 

Another way to spot a man with a small mind
is that he will always believe that he is larger than his mind.

 

 

An Essay Regarding "Talk: Its Life, Its Function, Its Future In The City":
A real thinker would be abrupt
and a real, real thinker wouldn't even the fuck start.

 

 

And here is some late breaking Racing News:
The "Vaseline Special For The Mind" has been canceled.
Seems no one wanted to go - that fast!

 

 

Okay -- here's the way it goes: You can paint your roaches like life makes you do, and then believe that you were the one to think of it -- just like everyone else -- or, after realizing this, you can personally re-paint them yourself and --
like-that it goes.

 

 

Neurons: "We won't live long enough to ever get it all done."
Hormones: "What the hell is 'live'!?"

 

 

Point-blank-thought
if it must speak
must learn to speak otherwise.

 

 

The civilized do not find acceptable, those who aren't...except in theory...and if they live in the other side of the world!

THE BOOGIE

The boogie ain't the boogie
If it's got a mind;
And the hormone boogie said:
"Hey! -- that's fine!"
The boogie ain't the boogie
If it's been to school;
And the modern, feral boogie said:
"Hey! -- that's cool."
The city told the boogie:
"Say, son -- lend an ear;
You can't dance like that and,
Live around here."
Now the
Boogie ain't the boogie,
Not the same as 'twas before;
They done
Bathed, and shaved, and dressed it,
Oh, what a lovely bore.
Now let this be a lesson,
When you come in from the wood;
Always let your neurons
Wrap up your hormones good.
Oh,
They still sing and dance a bit,
This new, neural crowd;
But silent signs say everywhere:
"No Boogie Here, Allowed."
So here we all are,
Embraced by the city,
And to keep it from trampling his toes;
A thinker takes along,
His own private boogie,
With him where ever he goes.

 

 

One kid wasn't certain whether his father had once told him that a "serious man" is an idiot or that a "sincere" one is, and every time he'd ask about it the old man would refuse to reply.

 

 

 

With his new mind, one man,
"looked back over his life," and thought
"That wasn't my life!"

 

 

Standing at a bus stop, a woman looked off and thought:
"I bet if our minds could just stink like our arm pits, we'd all...,"
and just then the bus came.

 
  J