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One kid told his elementary teacher:
"A real thinker knows that there's plenty-y-y of time to be serious when you're dead...and also that there's plenty of time to be dead when you're serious."
Moral: No one likes a "too-smart-kid" except
a too-smart-kid.

 

In the Neural Ballroom even the crippled dance.
Civilization: The place where there is no party unless everyone attends.
Real Thinker's Note: Don't let this happen to you
inside of your own head.

 

 

One man said: "Loyalty!? -- Loyalty!? -- what the hell is, loyalty!?"
Then suddenly realizing what was going on, said:
"Okay -- shut up -- you hormones!"

 

 

A human and a tiger were talking and the homoverbosly said: "Of all the animals, man is not the largest, strongest, nor swiftest; nor can he fly, or swim like many of the other creatures, and yet he rules the world by the mere power of his intellect!"
And the tiger said: "I assume you refer to 'man-the-species,' and not you, individually!?"
And as soon as the mortal nodded his agreement, the tiger said: "Oh look your shoe's untied!" And when the man looked down, the big cat jumped him and ate him.

 

 

There are still voices in the city which say,
"We should encourage greater independence & self-reliance." But they are too late.

 

 

We interrupt our normal programming now to bring you this
Late Breaking News Flash:
When the dumb do think, they quite often "think about the past."
And now back to our regular crap.

 

 

How To Tell If A Man Is Ordinary:
He will ask another man to intercede with life on his behalf.

 

 

Another Of Our: "Dollar Ninety-Eight, Brief Histories Of Human Evolution":
After the "Garden Party,"
when men got tired of working, they began to talk;
and when they got tired of talking, they began to write;
and when they got tired of writing, they began to read what others had written; and when they got tired of reading what others had written,
they began criticizing it.
The End.
(Unless you really want to get your money's worth then you can go back and read it again, and start complaining about how short it was [etc].)

 

 

Once he began to comprehend how things really are arranged around these here parts, one, somewhat "nervous" man says he now feels much better since realizing that if a closed closet can handle an atomic explosion, it can certainly deal with him "going to pieces."

 

 

In the new woods, a man met a real thinker and after some discourse, the man thought: "There's really nothing you can say to a thinker."
"Papa, is that why it's so quiet in the woods?"

 

 

Men's Opinions:
Life's local homeostat.

 

 

A Hold-Over Hidden Tip From A Thinker's Comic Strip:
All really great hobbies are silent, secret, and extremely-y-y personal.

 

 

More Unclassified Schematics Of How The City Is Wired Up Via Human Circuits:
One man saved up his money to have facial plastic surgery. He wanted to look like a movie star, but insisted that it had to be a dead movie star.

 

 

How Does It Look From Here, Dear:
Do you realize that you can pay someone to do almost anything for you but think!? (The preceding feature was not brought to you through sponsorship of the American Hormonal Society.)
A reader notes: "Hey, dig this: Like, say I read your News, say for three minutes, and I begin to 'get it,' but then say, like I go on and watch it for six and I begin to totally lose it! Wow! Dude! Over & Out."
Fact: Sequence, Order, and Logic play no favorites...unless you need them to!

 

 

One man was given a choice:
He could either have a brain -- or a brain tumor,
and he said: "What's the difference?"

 
  J