Jan Cox Talk 0062

Cease Treating Yourself As the Enemy


Video = none
Audio = Stream or Download from black bar below

AKS/News Items = Kneeded - short reading on tape.
Summary = pending
Diagrams = See Below in transcript # 001, #30
Transcript = See Below


Transcript

CEASE TREATING YOURSELF AS THE ENEMY                

Document:  62,  March 17, 1983
Copyright(c) Jan M. Cox, 1983                          

Diagram # 001 photo

Diagram # 001 photo

     The nervous system maps I have been sketching for you are physically, literally true, but intentionally flawed.  There is always something missing in them.  This Thing can never be presented as an absolute dogma, etched in stone and never to be changed.  From your point of view, This is not something to merely adopt as a theoretical philosophy.  You must use the maps for your continued growth.  Through your own effort you can experience a moment of freedom from the habitual; a moment in which you can taste the truth.

     I have a new rule for you.  It's a trick, but it is also an absolute rule, and your own experience will ultimately prove its supreme importance.  It is this:  you must cease to treat yourself as the enemy.

     Everyone on this planet accepts, in his own way, that he himself is the enemy.  It is one's own personality that seems to keep him where he is; he feels forced to struggle against his "faults" -- being too fearful, too fat, too angry, too timid.  All the separately enumerated problems expressed by ordinary people are actually nothing but synonyms for this personality itself, this "I", this Line-level consciousness. But "I" is not the enemy; it is a limited state to be transcended.  Everyone experiences the inescapable feeling of:  "If there were just some way I could put a gun to my personality; it's driving me crazy.  One swift shot at this tiger pacing in my head and then I'll be more conscious."  You must stop agreeing with and entertaining these internal voices.  The voices can't be totally eliminated, but you will find that this apparently malicious, uncontrollable, wart-encrusted beast that you always took to be yourself becomes more like an uninteresting uncle residing in your basement.  Or, I could give you another description:  it is almost like one's feet.  Can you think of any other part of your body more impartial than your feet? Sometimes they hurt.  And you might get a blister every now and then, but they are never a site for cancer.  Feet don't have strokes.  By and large, most people don't worry about the size and shape of their feet the way they do about their noses.  Feet are simply work horses, and no one pays them much attention.  Allow me the privilege of saying that feet are one of the few aspects of themselves toward which people are just naturally impartial.  Similarly, you will find that this personality, this "I" that seems to be a despicable enemy, is not worthy of such attention.  You can and must develop an unnatural impartiality toward it.

     In a sense, Man's only so-called spiritual or psychological progress over the past 5,000 years has been in nomenclature:  his verbal descriptions of this internal personal turmoil have become more sophisticated. Earlier in history people spoke of devils and demon possession.  Now people talk about psychological traumas.  Despite the fact that my descriptions and verbal mappings sound correct, while you are operating at Line-level consciousness, you're still driven to feel dissatisfied and to believe that your problems should be addressed.  This is the voice of Line-level consciousness; this voice is absolutely synonymous with the Horizontal Line.  People rarely refer to demons today; it's another person who caused your actions, or something in the past so traumatized you that now you're perpetually fearful, etc., etc.  All of this turmoil, all this gaseous, noxious odor emanating from your Line level swamp, you still assume to be the enemy, and you accept without question the need to struggle against it in some way.  But regardless of the epoch and the nomenclature, these struggles are all attempts at finding internal peace and understanding of one's self.  I have already told you that all of humanity's ideas about heaven refer to something internal, above Line level, just beyond the Future/Now.

     You must begin to See for yourself that you are still locked in a deadly struggle with "I".  You view it as a something that Life forced upon you, but it is not.  "I", from Line level down, is not one's enemy.  It is one's very life.  If it could be stopped, if you could kill it in some way, you would have to kill the organism that is you.  This organism, this Fred or Mary, is not a series of traumas to be worked out and problems to be solved.  It is not the enemy.  It is a limiting state to be abandoned.

     You must begin to See this Line level Fred or Mary for what it is:  an almost childish, non-offensive uncle who has moved in and will never move out.  This continually bubbling, internal turmoil and incessant dialogue is like a nonstop radio playing the same song over and over.  Whatever energy it transfers is just Uncle Fred in a hostile encounter or in the middle of a mood swing.  "I go for days when I feel like life is not worth living, and then suddenly, I feel like I could pull up my skirt and run through the daisy fields, whistling, and throwing pine cones up in the air.  I wish I could gain some control over all this."  Just weird, old, inoffensive Uncle Fred.  He is not the enemy, and there is nothing to be done about him.

     I do not mean to insinuate that once you begin to become more conscious, the turmoil and noise will continue to operate at the same intensity for the rest of your life.  The intensity does change.  Suffice it to say -- it becomes irrelevant.  "I" becomes a non-offensive, harmless old crank who holds no particular animosity towards you.  And it is certainly not the enemy because, after all, you couldn't have got here without it.

     Your ordinary level daydreams are no worse than anyone else's, your dark secrets are not even secret, much less dark, gloomy and evil.  You are not the victim of evil spirits or psychological traumas.  All of the impressions made upon your nervous system, all the knots and lumps helped create what seems to be you.  If your father had not hit you for dropping his favorite electric razor in the bathtub, someone else would have hit you.  You must begin to See the subtle, built-in attitude in everyone, the belief that he's harboring an enemy.  Life's growth .paprocess requires man to feel incomplete.  Without this dissatisfaction, without this resistance, Life would not grow.

     Recall the Three Forces.  I've told you that in any situation, you can identify the First Force -- that which wants to act -- and Second Force -- which wants to stop the action.  And then there's something else.  Everything that seems irrelevant.  There is a built in resistance which is necessary for the electrical flow of the nervous system, and one of the manifestations of this resistance within everyone, is the belief that they are harboring an enemy.  Let me repeat, no one in your past is responsible for making you feel the way you do.  You have no "deep-seated, internal conflicts from a traumatic parent-child relationship". The feeling you have that, "I'm no good.  I'm useless.  I'll never become enlightened," is built into the nervous system.  At that level it is absolutely necessary as long as Life is to continue to grow.

     On the horizontal level, in the past nothing terrible has ever happened to you.  You have never wasted your time, even if you were married three times and each of your husbands or wives left you, and took everything.  All of that is irrelevant, other than the fact, that had it not been for all of that, you would not be here.  This is not meant to be interpreted as a sham show of, "Hooray, I'm glad all of those things happened.  Did you know that I spent two months in jail, lost everything I had, went bankrupt four times, and ran through six wives?"  It has nothing to do with that kind of self-congratulation.  It's similar to feet. "My feet got me here.  Had it not been for my feet, I would not be here.  I've turned my ankle and bloodied my toes.  I've kicked people that could kick back harder, and I've kicked people I later wished I hadn't kicked.  I bought stylish shoes and they hurt my feet.  I once went barefoot to a cocktail party and people laughed at me.  But by and large, had it not been for my feet, I would not have got from there to here." What else is there to say about feet?  Feet are feet.  The past is the past and this thing called Fred or Mary, is Fred or Mary, no more and no less than that.

     What I am telling you goes beyond any form of psychology.  You must cease considering Line level "I" as an enemy.  This is not something to be memorized and obeyed simply because I say it is a rule.  Used correctly, you will find it to be a quite potent tool.  The internal noise won't stop, the radio continues to play, it's the same old limited repertoire, but I want you to abandon your struggle with it.  There is a source to the feeling that, "I am no good," and that feeling is in everyone all over the world.  Humanity could not survive, could not grow without it, but it is not based upon the sins of the parents.  Sure, your parents told you that you were bad, as you grandparents told your parents, and so on down the generations.  That happened, but it's irrelevant.  It is not the basis for this feeling of, "Poor, pitiful me".

     Even now, under the guise of attempting to do This Thing, you are still treating your apparent self as the enemy.  You might be driving along and suddenly find yourself becoming hostile.  Perhaps someone with green and purple hair walks by, or you notice someone in a three piece suit, carrying a brief case and he looks like a lawyer.  You begin to think, "Man, do I hate lawyers.  My third wife and that shark she called a lawyer took everything."  Then something alerts you to the fact that, "I just can't listen to that kind of talk. I'm trying to move beyond the Line.  I cannot put my hands on that."

     Based upon your own observations, I want you to See that there is an acid, unpleasant taste to that kind of internal chatter.  It's source is not a personal demon nor a scarred and traumatized past that must be exorcised.  It's not a question of finding a new-wave religious figure and learning to conquer such turmoil.  This turmoil is the nature of Life at Line level and it interferes with This Thing.  Importantly, for those struggling to grow beyond the Line, it permeates that which you are attempting to do now.  And the time has come to abandon it.

     Let me point out something that should be obvious to you.  Do not allow your Line-level consciousness to interpret my words into the idea that it's now acceptable for you to be you.  I am not saying that benign, crazy uncle is your friend.  It's not your enemy, but neither is it your friend.  This is not some variation of the sentiment that, "I'm ok, you're okay.  We all have our warts, traumas, and difficulties.  We're only human.  Everyone, at times, thinks that they are no good.  We're all in this together, and we'll pull through together."  None of that produces real change.  For the few attempting to escape from it, the feeling of self-condemnation is an illusionary connection with Life, one that has an unmistakable acidic taste.  It exists because man is incomplete.  It provides the necessary dissatisfaction that, for an individual, generates the activity, and in a larger context, promotes Life's growth.  If the Line were solid, if growth were not possible, none of the internal turmoil would exist.  Everyone on this planet would be as pleased as a hippopotamus in a mud puddle, as happy as the Rock of Gibraltar, as conscious as a turtle.

     Under ordinary conditions, people never experience real change.  I have described for you a picture of the old-time plug-in, telephone switchboard, through which a limited number of incoming and outgoing energy messages can travel.  It is not dissimilar to the self-limiting kinds of energy transformation, of which people are capable.  A person's built-in ability to receive, transform, and send information, based upon the way they are plugged into Life, is what makes people appear to be different from each other.  All of the holes are plugged, no one can simply pull out a plug; hence, there is no such thing as real change on an ordinary level.  At best, that which passes for change in ordinary life is the exchange of one kind of behavior for another.  It is the classic case of the alcoholic becoming a fanatical teetotaler, apparently unplugging the energy connection which made him a drunkard, and moving it somewhere else.  Perhaps he becomes an uncontrollable eater and gains 300 pounds.  Perhaps he begins to abuse his wife and family.  In any case, energy must go somewhere.

Diagram # 030 illustration

Diagram # 030 illustration

     Recall now, the grid, the multidimensional network of wires connecting everyone together.  From the direct connections between you and your immediate environment, your family, friends, co-workers, these wires radiate to include everyone on the planet.  I can make up a story about an Albanian accordion player getting shot at this very moment and then develop it to the point where I show you the affect his death would have on you, say, within 24 hours.  I want you to Consider the manifestations of these invisible wires, even if you cannot yet See the enormity of the connections.

     The Grid can be visualized as a wire mesh laid out over the entire planet.  At every intersection where two wires cross, you will find a person's head, with their eye-level at the level of the grid, and the rest of their system dangling downward.  Can you follow this picturization?  Each juncture point has a head at eye-level with a body hanging down from it.  In fact, each juncture point actually is a person.

     Let me remind you of this fact:  when you are sitting alone in your room and then you mate walks through the door, you suddenly become a different person.  Perhaps you're reading a book, or looking out the window, daydreaming, and you hear his or her footsteps coming toward the door.  Inside you something changes.  You should be able to observe this kind of thing, without drawing any finalized conclusions about what it means.  There you sit doing nothing particularly secretive, nothing embarrassing, when you suddenly hear footsteps or your mate walks through the door -- and something happens in you.  The moment you hear the step, or the door opening, you are no longer, in the ordinary sense of the word, the same "I", you are no longer the same person that was sitting quietly caught up in the flow of reading a book.

     This Grid system, as with all good maps, is not rigid.  It is very pliable and can twist and turn in all kinds of strange directions.  At the heart of this apparent self, this personality, is a magnetic field with particular qualities that vary a bit from person to person.  Another person physically appearing on the scene, as in my description above, interferes with the operation of the magnetic field previously established, while you were reading a book, or staring out the window.  But how would you explain the apparent internal change you experience when the other person is not even in the house and you hear footsteps coming up the front steps?  Lest you miss the hint, an alteration in the magnetic field is not limited to the physical appearance of another person.  How is it, for example, that you can be looking out the window, in a sort of dream state, and for .pano apparent reason, you suddenly realize that you are thinking about someone you haven't seen or thought of in years?

     The Grid system is in operation at Line level, precisely where the head feeds through one of those juncture points, at "I" level.  At that level, there is no escape and you are pushed and pulled about by the movements of the Grid itself.  Additionally, the Grid is not two nor three dimensional.  It moves into another dimension, so that, what seems to be nearby and what is apparently far away (such as you and the Albanian accordion player) may be closely connected within the grid.

     Every movement within the Grid affects every other movement.  You can observe, through some of the examples I just made up, the way people are apparently tied into the grid.  You can observe the connections, by examining anything going on in Life.  Watch the way you seem to react to others.  What happens, for example, when someone speaks to you?  What does it seem to do to your internal thought processes, and how does it alter your apparent mood?  If I were speaking to a group of psychologists, I could doctor this up and make it sound as though it is a new psychological theory or a new way of presenting a current theory.  They would think, "Yes, in some way we are all tied together, and the experiences, and traumas picked up in childhood that have resulted in self-condemnatory behavior can be triggered by certain kinds of people and current-day influences.  These catch your attention, and viewed in a particular way can be seen as a motivating factor."  That explains nothing.  The Grid is a literal, physical phenomenon.

      This apparent "I"-level Grid system, which holds everyone together, extends into a dimension beyond the three that can normally be seen.  Everyone is being pushed, pulled, and jerked about by the movement of the grid.  What if this Grid system is not actually operating from an "I"-level vantage point. What if it only seems to operate from that level because that is all ordinary consciousness could conceive? What if the Grid actually operates from another level, a different dimension?  I have told you that everything is, in a sense, upside-down.  And backwards!

     I have directed your attention towards mappings of the Primal Apparent Flows.  In no way do they conflict with the map of the nervous system.  The apparent flow results in that which everyone at Line level accepts to be themselves, one's personality.  And unless you are involved with This Thing, there is no escape from the feeling that, "I would like to have a better personality.  I want to have a changed self."  An ordinary man can't even analyze how to escape from the Line.  Everything that has happened to you, all the good times, and all the bad, have culminated in this apparent thing that is you.  There is no unconscious.  Nothing in this apparent flow of things that happened to you was so traumatic that you had to file it away in a place from which you cannot consciously bring it back to mind, a place from which it comes to haunt you like demons in the night.  There is no unconscious.  It's all part of the apparent flow, at Line-level.

     The energy that apparently motivates an individual to pursue particular directions, seems to be an energy flow that is distinct from the flow that drives This Thing.  As rare as they may be, there are moments when you can observe these two flows apparently working together.  (An important hint for those who are alert.)  Generally, these two flows are apparently working against each other, though not necessarily in a head-on battle.  It is part of the same feeling of dissatisfaction, the idea that, "I am harboring an enemy within me.  There are things I believe I want to do, yet there seems to be something internally, that constantly resists it."

     There are many ways to observe the flows of energy.  I have on occasion temporarily divided something into separate parts to allow you to examine it, for example, shame and guilt.  One is founded in the objective validity of a person attempting to do This Thing.  The other, guilt, is a part of the apparent flow, and acquired manifestation of a person tied to the grid.  Look at the difference between real and imaginary interests.  Look at the difference between real and imaginary attractions between people.  Can you See that one is closer to the Primal Flow than to the apparent flow?

     Contemporary Line level explanations of man's motivations rest on the existence of an unconscious:  "There are traumas and incidents from my past responsible for my wanting to do so and so, but then other things happened to me as well, that made me believe I didn't want so and so.  Since both of them can't exist together, one of them is filed away in an area called 'the unconscious' and the other is up here in 'the conscious'."  Can you See that this form of Line level reasoning is absolutely fallacious?  What if this person is simply experiencing the general dissatisfaction that exists at the Line, when the two flows are apparently working in conflict?

     I briefly mentioned once, that there is a speed-limiting factor built into each person's nervous system, permitting the system to operate within a particular range, with set maximum and minimum speeds.  There are also continual fluctuations within the nervous system, the natural ebb and flow between the excited and calming modes.  To put it plainly, any individual's apparent personality, his apparent self, has its own limitations, in terms of how much excitement and how much calm it can tolerate.

     There is a certain speed appropriate to each type of energy transformer, each type of personality built into each and every nervous system.  Unless an ordinary person is operating at that speed, he will not fit into and move within the normal flow.  If I were to describe this phenomenon to an ordinary person, he would see it as just the opposite.  "If I could only slow down, I would not be suffering from ulcers and high blood pressure.  If it were not for this unbelievable high-pressure, frantic existence, the pace of my job, financial pressures, and family responsibilities, I'd be much happier.  There are times when all I want to do is join a monastery and get away from it all.  If it weren't for afternoon cocktails, I don't know what I'd do." This is completely backward, from our perspective, but for ordinary people, it's true.  The frantic, high-pressure businessman, has one more drink, and when he has reached his calming limit says, "Hey, this has been great, but I've got to go."  There is a particular speed at which everyone's apparent self must operate, in order to fit into and stay with the normal flow.  What if you could change that speed?  Can anyone here sense, that some of my suggestions and tasks could temporarily force one to change his normal speed?

      I'm going to shift slightly, while continuing along similar lines.  You who are involved with This Thing cannot become a spokesman for the Second Force.  As people age, they unknowingly become spokesmen for resistance.  With age, everything new becomes despicable, unacceptable and fanatical.  "Don't talk to me about today's music.  I loved music when I was a teenager, back in the days when music was music.  But the stuff the kids are listening to today, is noise.  It's garbage.  It's just awful.  The world is finally going down hill, at least from a cultural and artistic perspective."

     As the nervous system ages, as it travels across the horizontal line, it begins resisting that which is just coming into view.  It becomes the Resistant Force.  Again, this has nothing to do with your childhood experiences.  It has nothing to do with whether or not the music today is better or worse than the music of your youth.  Adults look upon the younger generation, the music they play, the cars they drive, the art they create, and because of this inevitable rise of Second Force in them, and react in a critical fashion.  They have no choice.  This aspect of aging is built into man.

     You cannot do This Thing and simultaneously be a spokesman, an indentured laborer, for the Second Force.  Everyone else has no choice.  Everyone else is employed by Life, and as they age, they are gradually shifted from one job to another.  You start out working in a certain corner of this great office, among young wide eyed, creatively motivated people, laughing at all the old fogies, with their cigars and their conservative styles.  You don't realize it, but your chair is gradually being pulled across the office by a magnetic force and before you know it, you're sitting over in the opposite corner where dumpy old Mr. Smith used to sit.  But no one ever looks back and remembers the way they formerly behaved toward old Mr. Smith.  "Mr. Smith must have been at least forty."  You don't realize it, but now you're almost forty, Mr. Smith is dead, and you've taken his place.  "Naw, no, no....that's not the same thing.  We may have been a little wild when I was sitting over in the corner with the younger generation, but the stuff that's going on today, it's lunacy.  They've gone too far."

       You can not do This Thing and be a critic of Life.  There is no justifiable criticism.  Do you See how this is tied in with that which I was saying earlier?  This nervous system you call "I" is not your enemy. There is nothing in Life that is one's enemy.  Yes, at Line level, there is an apparent struggle, there is resistance.  You are not struggling against old Mr. Smith.  You are not struggling against the generation behind you, the generation in front of you, or against different races of people or against different religions or political ideologies.  You are not even struggling against you.  It just seems that way.  As soon as you can become an objective witness to this apparent struggle, and begin to See it as the driving force behind Life's growth, you'll see that this is true.

     The older the organism gets, the more it is unwittingly drawn toward being a constant critic.  It begins working for the Second Force.  It becomes more and more critical of everything.  Once you begin to See this process in action, you will simultaneously See that there is nothing to criticize, there is no enemy. Knowing that there is nothing in Life to criticize, does not mean that you can go back and do that which your system is naturally drawn to do.  Anytime you find yourself caught up in criticism, you are not doing This Thing.  You can not begin to understand the extent and power of hostility until you are freed from it. Every time the organism speaks, its words hold some form of hostility.  A person can say, "Hello, I'm glad to see you," and once you can begin to hear it, even that is a form of hostility because it is not totally true. The organism acts without choice.  It should be treated like old Uncle Fred.

     Occasionally some of you question whether you are becoming overly dependent on me.  The idea of it disturbs you, but it's another example of this ordinary system having an almost infinite variety of things it could see and learn from, but is unable to examine.

     Under ordinary conditions, the organism never considers how totally dependent it is.  Some of you might believe in your own independence, but there is a connectedness to everything.  What if all of the farmers on this planet dropped dead tonight?  How would you eat?  What if those in charge of our water supply went out of the water business?  Where would you get water?  If any of you think you would go back to the land and grow vegetables, you are not looking at it correctly.

     There is a balance and connectedness to the grid.  Yet, due to the pulsation of Life itself, looked at from a certain perspective, everything is on the edge of continual chaos.  And this is no form of pessimism. You walk into the bathroom, turn on the faucet, and the way things are arranged, water begins running. What if water never again flowed from the faucets?  Don't allow you ordinary systems to argue with any of these examples.  The water supply could dry up and that could be the end of you.  There is an unseen dependence upon everything in the world.

     On a higher level, there are also pulsating surges of excitement and calm of a greater nervous system.  Though you can't see it, this greater system continuously transmits messages.  Sometimes they are of a political nature, but not always, and the changes they produce do not necessarily occur at the times people expect.  These pulsations continuously send everything right up to the edge of chaos.  You can taste chaos, at times.  You might walk into a restaurant and there's a drunk fellow stumbling around inside and suddenly, there's a shift that you can feel in the magnetic field.  Something about the way he's walking or the way he keeps putting his hands in his pockets, as though, without warning he could pull out a gun and shoot everyone in the restaurant.  Your particular life could move right up to the edge of chaos and that could be the end of you.

     Have you ever wondered why humanity has always loved horror stories?  Psychologists might say that an interest in the macabre is seeded somewhere in the unconscious, related to fears left over from childhood.  It is something greater than that.  It's related to a knowledge that no one knows they have, of this greater nervous system, continuously pulsating, and throwing us out to the edge of absolute chaos. Then we are sucked back and then blown out again.  I am not saying that Life is about to fall apart.  It is not.  It's almost as though this greater nervous system, operating at a different speed than humanity, is continually getting drunk or coasting down the steep incline of a roller coaster.  Its brain gets scrambled and it throws us right to the edge of chaos, where it imagines, "I could jump off that building and fly," then it begins to sober up.  There is a continuous pulsation, on both an individual and on greater levels, pushing everything up to the edge of potential, total chaos.  However, it's just as true that Life can't fall apart.  It's extremely stable, because just as it reaches the brink of chaos, the system sobers and heals itself.

     The concern that a madman is going to destroy the world, has troubled the human mind since men first learned to speak.  What actually happens is that a "madman" causes a bit of trouble in one part of the world, and then, it's as though on a greater level, Life had a pimple or got stung by a bee.  It simply went right up to the edge of chaos, sobered up or healed itself, and pulled back.  If any of you feel that you are becoming dependent upon me, that is the least of your problems.  At Line level, the system is totally dependent, though the system can not see it.  Anyone, or any group of people can be snuffed out.  It happens all the time, though ordinary humanity believes it is the work of some madman, an insane group of people, or a catastrophe of some kind.  To believe that, is synonymous with living at Line level, at "I"-level.  At "I"-level, people have no choice but to attribute such occurrences to the insane acts of madmen.  Operating at "I"-level, within the grid, is where everyone seems to get shaken, jerked and jostled, while simultaneously believing that there are individuals "out there" who know what they are doing and who should be held accountable for their actions.  No one knows what they are doing.  Everyone is being pushed and pulled by the pulsations of this greater system and their connection to the Grid itself.

     I have described the internal turmoil as being like a tiger on the loose, pacing back and forth inside the brain.  My reference to the noise it makes is simply another way to describe the magnetic field.  Whenever you become entangled with that noise, the magnetic field has its intended effect on those around you and vice versa.  When you refuse to play out your intended role, your ordinary magnetic field is altered.  On a crude level, you will find it extremely refreshing.  Even though it is you alone refusing to transfer this kind of ordinary funny-money energy, it will also have an effect on those around you -- but it will not raise their level of consciousness beyond the Line.  People will continue to be mechanically fueled, regardless of your efforts.  However, they may experience a feeling of relief, without being able to explain its origins. There is also the potential that they will benefit.  Let me also point out that any understanding you may have gleaned from being here, can have potentially unprofitable results, if used in the wrong place or at the wrong time.  Of course, if that were to happen, I'd have to say that your understanding was rather tenuous, to say the least.

     As your ties to the Grid weaken, so will the Line level need to become a famous, important, powerful someone.  Everyone else, to some degree is driven, pushed, and pulled by the movement of the grid, while you can abandon this desire to be a "something".  Beyond that, you should be developing a taste for becoming something extraordinary, that does not exist at the Line.  In fact, it may be of a very personal, internal nature.  It could be described as a secret aim to die before death.  If you don't have this aim, you'll die anyway, but you'll go in an ordinary fashion.  This other kind of death, not know by humanity, is related to becoming part of Life's Real memory.  When that happens, Life cannot get rid of you easily.  From that perspective, you must hurry up and get dying out of the way, while you still have ordinary, horizontal time to spend.  Then, I am suggesting, you may not die an ordinary death.  Some of you may want to go out like little rockets, instead of being laid to rest in your best suit, a wreath of flowers across your chest, organ music playing softly in the background, and a crowd of people tiptoeing around.  Instead, how about one thunderous, instantaneous explosion that leaves everyone wondering, "What the heck was that?"

     Remember, that one loose wire is one's only possibility for escape from the Line.  It is like one weak point within the circuitry, through which the individual can activate his or her nervous system beyond Line level.  Ordinarily, everything that happens to an individual runs through its normal circuitry, but stops right at the Line.  Neuralizing is to try to take an idea, a thought, or an observation and purposefully, willfully place it beyond the Line.  It is to be conscious of something without thinking about it, without allowing it to run its ordinary course through the ordinary circuitry.  Do this using any tricks you can find.

     There is no interface between Neuralizing and logical thought.  Logical thought, in a sense, does serve a purpose.  Without it, we couldn't design a building or construct a wall.  However, logical thought always has an apparent beginning and an apparent conclusion.  "Here is the problem...and here is the conclusion."  And that's the end of it.  It is necessary, but it does not interface with Neuralizing.  Any words I use, and description I give of Neuralizing, falls short because verbally the best I can do is create a laterally running picturization in a direction that the mind does not ordinarily run.  To Neuralize something you must understand that nothing the ordinary mind can think of in its piecemeal way actually has a determinable beginning -- and then you must look omnidirectionally -- in all possible directions at once.

     From one viewpoint, Neuralizing could be called illogical.  But it is the supreme logic because it has no beginning.  And it has no end.