Jan Cox Talk 0114

Touching the Consciousness of Life Itself


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Diagram 8

Diagram 8

 

Summary by TK


Jan Cox Talk 114, June 21, 1984, runtime 1:40

This Thing can become almost dangerous. It has become so for the Group. ]
  [Expansion of E/C gate (exciting/calming) map. Enlightenment as igniting the upper reaches of the Nervous System = the ultimate excitement. E/C syndrome at RED Circuit level: either on or off, fight or flight = ordinary term for same, although not seen as such in RED Circuit for humans and definitely not seen as such in Blue Circuit. E/C is going on in the body of Life as well. Relation to the 3 flows: C-flow = exciting mode, D = calming mode. What would be the E flow? "I" = exciting; un-activated parts of nervous system = calming mode. A balance is always effected between the two. For those Few of This Thing the balance is shifted such that above the line = exciting; below the line I = calming; and E = The Consciousness of Life Itself. Below-the-line E/C: I/Not I would be gridlock without E. When moving above-the-line the center of gravity is shifted and below-the-line I/exciting/C becomes D-flow--your own personal resistance. You, in effect become "upside down"!!]
  [The Blue Circuit has been a transition from the red to the yellow. Now yellow is transition to a higher new circuit. The balance is changing. Temporary balance in this transition is seen now: Ph.D.'s jogging and football players retiring and becoming brain surgeons. Overall concern for fitness of red circuit--precursor balance for new circuit (beyond yellow) creation. ]
  [You can touch the consciousness of Life itself. Physically. ]
  [The defining of things by what they are not: inability to exactly define: can you see this is like Life saying it is not exactly sure what is going on, but does know what is not going on?  ]
  [What possible purpose can "psychology" be serving in ordinary humanity vis a vis Life's needs?  "Head part separate from body and responsible for 'my problems'" Feeling of separation---why? ]
  [The physical touching of the consciousness of Life is serving distinct purposes. It is small in quantity but with incom-mensurately large effect. But the expansion of This Thing to others externally --they eat something that has already been chewed by the Group. Reduced nourishment, and serves a different purpose. Humanity and its consciousness is Life talking to itself.  In the same way that The Few have a possibility of higher consciousness, so does Life.  The more people doing This Thing, the higher Life's consciousness can go.  But Life must be careful not to overdo it, thus we are all stuck being a part of Life's mechanical consciousness at this level.  
  [TASK: What purpose is the feeling of a need to pray serving? Prayers are physical particles of respect, fear and love for something outside the system.  But there is no out there.  Everything is helping to transfer energy within the system, serving its purpose.  Neuralize this. And Remember T.I.N.O.T.


Transcript

TOUCHING THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF LIFE ITSELF

Document:  114,  June 21, 1984
Copyright (c) Jan M. Cox, 1984

    There is a way in which you can see and experience This activity to be that which has always been called enlightenment, higher consciousness, awakening, etc.  It is actually the physical igniting of the higher regions of the nervous system, that are not yet required for the sustainment of human life, or for the present day need of Life to grow through man.  This Thing can be seen, vis a vis the exciting/calming dynamic as being the ultimate excitement.

     I have pointed out that the nervous system operates on a kind of exciting/calming, alternating mode.  On the Red Circuit level, this has been observed in a crude sense already by biological observers, who call it "flee or fight."  It is like a lion being full and just laying around, completely taken over by the calming mode.  Then energies begin to flow; it gets hungry, it's kids get hungry, another lion invades its territory, and it becomes excited.

     What has yet to be observed, even up to the Blue Circuit level, is that this is what is going on in humanity.  It's why I pointed out before (in what appeared to be more psychological descriptions), that "emotions are not stable."  For example:  people live together, and say they love each other, and yet if he leaves the top off the toothpaste, internally she is ready to kill him.  Then he walks in and gives her a good-bye kiss and goes off, and it all seems to go back to "normal."  This is not an attack on humanity, there is nothing wrong, but note that this keeps humanity in a kind of unstable condition of stability. Psychology expresses it as people having "ambivalent feelings."  They note that those who love each other, kill each other; that the greatest amount of murders are between family members, and that something is wrong.  But nothing is wrong.  So, in a crude sense, humanity is already up to the point of being able to observe this "flee or fight," but has yet to rise to the level of seeing any great consequence of this in themselves at the red level, and none at the blue level, and absolutely none at the yellow level.

     Now see if you can follow a quick and crude sketching of how the exciting/calming operations can be fitted into a map of the Three Forces.  If you could Neuralize C force as being the exciting mode, and D force as the calming mode, where and what would be E force?  What if you conceived of each person's individual sensation of themselves (the "I" in the "I + Not-I = Everything" equation) as being the exciting hook, and the unactivated parts of the nervous system (the "Not-I") the calming mode.  The apparent "I" has the opinions, it has the beliefs, it has the knowledge.  It is the part that is activated.  Now remember there is an equal "Not-I" that has not been burned on the screen of consciousness.  This is why ordinary consciousness believes that "I" know certain things, "I" have certain opinions, "I" have certain beliefs, and this is true, correct, and proper.  The only reason ordinary consciousness has them is because there is an unactivated, unconceived of, reflection.  So, what if the activated part could be seen as C, and the unactivated part as D; then where or what would be E force?

     In the last example I was talking about the ordinary person whose level of consciousness does not exceed the Line.  At and below the Line, there is a balance between the exciting and calming modes.  Let's look again at the Red Circuit level and the exciting/calming mechanism being the "flee or fight" response in animals.  You do understand that there has to be a certain kind of balance for the continuing existence of a particular lion.  If he gets overbalanced a bit in the calming mode, if he becomes extremely laid-back, then the other lions will encroach upon his territory, and that lion's presence on this great stage will be reduced.  By the same token, if he stayed too excited, he'd waste his energies on nonessential reactions with the same result.  When you get into the three circuits, into the level of humanity presently, there is a balance being maintained.  I have pointed out to you that you have to be able to affect this balance.  You have to be aware that there is energy available to you daily, but if you look back down the nervous system you would always see that there has been a kind of balance.  There has been a constant shifting back and forth between calm and excited.  You had no control over it, but it seemed to work just fine.

     So consider that there is this balance below the Line.  It is balanced in such a way that what seems to be one's own consciousness can be seen as being the exciting hook, balanced internally by what seems to be not-I:  all of one's non-beliefs, all of one's non-opinions; the unactivated, unrealized operations of the nervous system.  For the Few who begin to touch the consciousness of Life itself, the balance is changed. To any degree that you can be conscious above the Line, you are no longer stuck in the ordinary, no longer an absolute slave to habit, human knowledge, etc.  The balance shifts:  that which is above the Line becomes the exciting mode, and everything below the Line (your ordinary consciousness) becomes the calming mode.

     Now please note, regarding the exciting/calming syndrome, that I only pointed out two elements, and I assure you, to be of any significance, there are always three of everything.  So, if what you understand of consciousness above the Line is like the exciting mode and all of your ordinary consciousness becomes like the calming mode, then I ask you again what would be the third aspect?  And I will tell you:  it is the consciousness of Life itself.

     Let's go back to the Line level feeling of "I" as the exciting mode, and that which seems to be not one's self as the calming mode.  Can you see the connection with the C and D forces?  That is, what appears to be the "I" operating in conjunction with C and the "Not-I" apparently operating as spokesman for D, but then you're left with:  Where is E?  It's always Three Forces.  If it wasn't, this exciting and calming switching back and forth would simply fall into a kind of 2/3 of reality grid lock, and you would either become too excited or go into an extreme holding pattern.  For example, it would be as if an ordinary person got "happy" and never got unhappy.  That would be the end of them.  Or, got "sad" and never got unsad.  But E, our elusive little force, is always present, acting as a kind of feedback, a kind of homeostatic device.

     In the same way, C force, a desire for change either on the individual, group, or national level does not happen exclusively.  Nor does D, the resistance or desire to sustain inertia, occur in isolation.  Nothing stays in just one position -- something always happens.  So the exciting/calming modes do not operate by those two forces alone.  You can see that what seems to be one's "I," with all its desires, apparently wants to make some movement, and there is that which seems to be unactivated that can be seen as the resistance -- resistance to "I" as C force and resistance to "I" being excited.  When you can get the nervous system activated to some degree above the Line of consciousness, then you can see this new level of consciousness as now in the employ of C force, whereas everything below the Line (the former desire for change as well as the former resistance) now works for D force.

     From a vantage point above the Line, you would have some understanding of why I used to say that, "Everything you know is wrong.  It doesn't matter what; it's just all incorrect."  Even if this person seems to know one thing and that person seems to believe the opposite -- it doesn't matter, they are both wrong -- because that is the built-in resistance.  By extending the nervous system you change the center of gravity -- what used to be the action part has become the resistance.  Then, what is E?  E is the touching of the consciousness of Life itself.

     To bring it down to the individual level, I ask you, "Where did I get all of this?"  By now I assume that you have given up trying to find out if I got it from some book, or from some secret teacher.  I didn't get it from anywhere.  What is it, when you get glimpses of it, that has happened?  Have I personally done magic on you?  That you've been a good boy or girl?  That I've put you in touch with the gods?  (In the sense of the level of consciousness of humanity, yes, you are in touch with the gods, but not that the gods are some separate entity from this.  It is not something that is another human in glorified form.)  You are talking about another level of consciousness, and when you touch it, the whole balance of what you are has changed.  What in other people would appear to be the active, the exciting, the C part, now becomes your calming, your resisting, your D part.  Although I can describe the Blue Circuit as D force, it served a purpose in being the transition from the Red Circuit to the Yellow Circuit.  Likewise the Yellow Circuit in man is going to serve that same purpose, as a transition into something else.  A new circuit, a higher circuit is beginning, and it is changing the balance.

     Someone recently made an interesting observation to me regarding the growth of the nervous system in man going higher and higher into the Yellow Circuit.  They found it curious that here in the Western world, where the level of consciousness of the Yellow Circuit is the highest, all of humanity appears to be involved with working out and jogging.  They observed that, if that be true, it would almost look like it was going in the other direction.  If you recall my talking about how things stagger, that nothing grows in a straight line, that there are always timeouts...you might find your own little crack here to see something.

     In a sense, you can look at it in one way, that if things are becoming more and more Yellow Circuit oriented, then gyms and weight lifting should all be things of the past.  However, 15 to 20 years ago you would have been hard-pressed to find intellectuals, those that apparently are of the Yellow Circuit, in a gym or out running on a track at the colleges in which they taught.  Whereas now you get out there, and you get run over by people with big, thick glasses who weigh 95 pounds.  It almost looks like something is wrong, right?  Wrong!  Not unless you are still convinced that things move in a straight line.  To give you another hint:  things are getting a little more balanced, particularly here in the West.  Because it is a transition period of a new circuit starting, there is a kind of expanded lateral awareness.  It is a new kind of balance where you have intellectuals out running, and professional sports figures finishing college and getting PhD's.  A couple of decades ago, it was almost impossible to find somebody that was apparently operating that strongly in the Red Circuit who could go from, say, playing professional football to becoming an attorney.

     As I told you, things are taking a turn.  This new kind of balance is almost Life mumbling to itself that, "I (Life) seem to have almost gone as far in one direction as I can go.  Let's sit down and think about it for a few minutes.  Now I've got some appreciation of music and art.  And I can get out and run.  I can think as well as anyone else.  Where do we go from here?"  To be in touch with that level of consciousness is to ignite the higher levels of your nervous system.  It is to change the balance, wherein that which used to be apparently your active part now becomes your resistance.  It becomes like the pendulum in the grandfather clock.  All of that which ordinarily seems to be alive and real and meaningful in you becomes the resistance that keeps you in a certain kind of stability.  The third leg is then the consciousness of Life itself.

     The touching of the level of consciousness of Life itself, in a sense, is what occurs in so-called "mystical" experiences, with descriptions ranging from, "Spirits took me somewhere; they opened my eyes and I saw things I never saw before.  I can't recreate it, I can't tell you exactly what happened," to what an ordinary person might say, "Hey!  I met the gods.  Not only did I hear them, but I talked with them, and it made sense!  What they said was not above my head, albeit it took about 5 seconds, but what they told me for 5 seconds!"

     Well, I mention this so you can learn something, somewhere.  Not about me personally (which is of no consequence), but how somebody like me pops up.  You know, where do I get this?  Because there is no source-book.  No one is telling me to do this, and I don't sit down and figure it out in some way.  I ask you, what is it that occurs when you get glimpses, the ones that are just so objectively habit forming to you? You know you can't escape it any more.  What is it?  Don't look for an answer, of course, with a period, and don't take just what I'm saying about touching Life's consciousness and just file it away, as "the words of the gods" -- as if that answers it all.  If you don't understand it, if you don't see it, it doesn't answer anything.  It is a search.  But it is a physical reality, wherein you can begin to see what Life is doing.  It is not a game of predicting the future, which is folly.  I assume none of you are entangled with that sort of thing.  It is not being able to predict, "On such and such day the stock market will take a dive."  Being able to touch, at times, Life's own level of consciousness is how you begin to see.  There is nothing to figure.  It is not sitting down and trying to plot out the stars, or trying to read ancient holy books and in some way fit them together to be able to touch the level of Life's consciousness.  At least at this level, there is nothing hidden.

     The surprise is that Life itself, on its own level, does not know exactly what it is doing (in the sense you would think).  Ordinary perception believes there is this old figure somewhere who, through his own awareness and ability, went poof and actually created all this.  Now if he did it, if he had that power, of course he knows what tomorrow will bring, right?  But to use that example, then I would tell you that, "No, he doesn't."  Now this is absolutely insane on the ordinary level wherein there is a belief in a figure outside of everything who created and controls every last thing.  It is insane to say to ordinary consciousness which believes in this being who created everything, that it's not really so sure about what will happen next.  Ordinary consciousness cannot conceive of the fact that the level of consciousness of humanity and the level of consciousness of Life itself are two different things (and although Life may not know exactly what it's doing next, that is not in any way the same as when men don't know what they're doing).  The religions are correct when they say, "The ways of the gods are not the ways of man, and man is not made to know the ways of the gods."  Consciousness at Line level cannot understand the level of consciousness of Life itself -- the level of consciousness of Humanity and the level of consciousness of Life (with its triaxial involvement of forces) are two different things.  The second part, that "man is not made to know the ways of the gods," aptly describes the ordinary level.  It is the only explanation where one asks a question like, "How is it that I try to live a good life, and all my children die?"  Well, "the ways of the gods are not the ways of man."  On the ordinary level, that is a fact.

     But what you are doing with This activity is to get above the Line, and then that kind of distinction of saying, "The ways of the gods are not the ways of man," is no longer valid.  Just a few people on this planet at any time have some understanding of this.  For the many, however, there is an unbridgeable gulf between the consciousness of Life itself and one's own particular consciousness.

     At the ordinary level of consciousness, that phrase just about wraps it up.  That is all the religious leaders are left with when they reply, "Well, my son, you have presented to me indeed a perplexing problem.  I have pondered the same thing in my youth, but I tell you, the ways of the gods are not the ways of man, and never the twain shall meet."  But they can meet.  That is the reality of Seeing.  You can change the balance in your nervous system and physically touch the consciousness of Life itself.

     Even though I don't like the word, that is mysticism.  Yet, when you do it, "the gods are not talking to you."  If you had in some way accidentally been able to become conscious above the Line (which happens to people), when you returned to the ordinary level you would merely become a "mystic" of your particular previous denomination, and have no choice but to speak of gods.  Because when you return to Line level, you fall back in such a way that what seems to be "I" adopts part of the experience, and not only does it use the language of ordinary perception, but then the experience has its own built-in resistance.  Thus, when you come back to ordinary consciousness, the phenomenon is explained as, "I talked to the gods," and you did no such thing.  But to the ordinary it doesn't matter.  Without the right kind of preparation, without being able to expand yourself laterally, accidents are all that is possible.  Even though many of you still feel that I keep talking about something you don't understand, you must see that I'm not attacking anyone's religion.  Your fathers and mothers weren't wrong in what they believed.  There is nothing wrong with your culture or your religion.  But you should be able to get some idea now of what I'm talking about, and the way the libraries of the world are filled with accounts of those who have had uncommon moments. Life does come out.  It doesn't just come out through me.  These little parts keep popping up throughout history.  It's Life attempting to grow.

     I'm sure many of you read books before you got involved with This with titles like, "How I Became a Mystic," or, "How I Traveled into Areas of Higher Consciousness," and  said to yourself, "That's just what I'm looking for!  I wish this person was still alive.  Did he leave any instructions?  I'll do everything he said."  But when the people who wrote those books came back from having a moment of being conscious in the sense of touching the consciousness of Life itself, they fell right back to where they were, except now they become less and more of it.  Yet, when you first hear of it, when you first thought you were looking for something, it smelled just like what you wanted.  But to have a real basis of understanding, not just an accidental, unrepeatable experience, you almost have to tear yourself apart and put yourself back together.  You have to undo that which you thought you were and turn yourself into that which you are not.

     This accidental touching of Life's consciousness is not harming Life; there's nothing wrong with it, but it has nothing to do with This.  Those who come back and lead a great following are not at the edge of C force.  It falls back to the calming mode and the balance has not been drastically changed.  The more you get glimpses of this, the more you see how tenuous and speculative all this is.  From one viewpoint I am amazed that anyone I have been working with has done it.  I did not predict any degree of success when I started, or rather, I was in touch with Life itself, and in a sense, it was saying, "I'm not sure what's going on."

     Recently I spoke of jazz and modern art as examples of the way things were being defined by what they were not.  For example, no one can actually tell you what modern art is.  Somebody took a can of paint and threw it on a wall and the critics all gathered around and said, "Here! Here!," but somebody else threw a bucket of paint on the wall and the response is, "No, no, not quite."  Or there is a band playing and the critics say, "That group has the technical background, they have obviously spent some time studying the post be-bop era, but no soul, no feeling..."  But with another group all they have to say is, "Listen.  They're hot."  Then you ask, "Well, how do you know the difference?  That one is art and the other not?  That this is jazz and the other is just some kind of schlock that somebody's putting out on the public?"  As I said, the operative phrase is, "Well, I can't tell you what jazz is, or I cannot really tell you what real 'modern art' is, but I can tell you what it's not.  Now give me some examples, play me some music, show me some paintings and I'll tell you if it's not jazz or art."  Can you see, in a certain way, the jazz and modern art coming out of humanity?  All the ramifications, the critiques, the inability to describe it, is like Life saying, "I do not presently know clearly what I'm doing in this one area, but I know what I'm not doing."

     You may remember an old story I put together about a man teaching sculpture, who said to do a lion you chipped away at everything that didn't look like a lion.  This is a kind of back door approach to becoming a good religious person by abiding completely by the rules of that particular religion, and thereby attempting to chip away at everything that does not look like or would not be part of a good religious life.  At that mechanical level, to the degree that people seem to succeed, it leaves a hollowness.  ou become a shell, without any understanding of what you are doing.  This leads to a form of fanaticism. You've all been around someone attempting to pass this kind of energy:  proselytizing, attempting to convert you, testifying, telling you, "You should become a __________(fill in the blank).  Look at how much better my life is.  I know what to do each and every day.  It says it right here in the holy book, and if I have any questions I ask the leader and he tells me exactly what to do because he has a more or less direct line to the gods."

     In a certain objective way, all of you should be able to understand that this is not better or worse than anything else, but if there is anybody you would not want to be locked up in a closet with for two or three months, it would be somebody like that.  What I'm trying to get you to look at physically is this chipping away, this attempting to live by external standards.  By chipping away everything that does not seem to conform to a "good religious life," you end up as a hollow shell.  There is no core to it.  And the core is what makes This activity worthwhile for you people who need it.  The core is that you have got to have some understanding of what's "going on," and not just follow me or anyone else.

     By running up many times, right to the edge of four dimensional insanity, and almost tearing yourself apart, and in some way, in part, thanks to me, getting reeled back, we have not turned into ordinary leaders and followers.  When you stumble back you regroup yourself, and begin to create a new kind of center, a changing of the balance I was mentioning, between what seems to be the active side and the part that will always be resistance.  Try to remember that there will always be resistance.  There is resistance in the whole body of life.  There is resistance for any growth.  You will always have your own resistance.  But the balance can be changed.

     You have probably heard the old tales of people suddenly (for whatever reason) coming in touch with their gods and henceforth from that day birds follow them; they never stub their toes, everyone loves them, even the meanest people in the world.  Unless there is a straight line phenomenon in another dimension, that is not the way it goes.  There has to be a center to it.  There will always be resistance, and you will feel it internally.

     To be able to chip away and hold this kind of balance you must begin to See things yourself.  You seem to take a staggering step forward, and then you seem to stagger backwards or stagger sideways.  By the time you begin to stagger another step, more or less in the direction you thought was progress, you See something.  And you begin to understand that something had already happened on that last step.  This creates a kind of core, a center to yourself, to where the chipping away doesn't leave a shell.  You are helping, in a sense, to recenter the consciousness of Life itself.  Because what you are doing is touching the consciousness of Life itself and its own many Neuralizations of, "What should I do next?"  At that level, it seems more certain than it does at this level, but it is only the dreams of ordinary people that say, "Yes, there is a superior being and he knows exactly what's going on, and he knows unequivocally what to do next."  Compared to man, yes!  The level of consciousness of Life itself is, in a sense, no way comparable to the consciousness of a man.  Not at the ordinary level; but above that level you can begin to touch it. That's what all the dreams of mysticism, enlightenment, and talking to gods are; your nervous system actually touches the level of consciousness of Life.  But it is not exactly what you think it is.  Just remember that nothing goes in a straight line.

     I have tried to insist that you Neuralize that there is no such thing as a psychology of man and all its ramifications.  There is likewise no isolated or separate environmental path to a person's apparent individual makeup that has made you what you are.  If you are ordinary, of course you can explain your behavior as being due to your parents.  But, if you are straining to touch another level of consciousness, that explains nothing.  Because then you've got to ask, "Well, why were my mother and father like that?" Then, obviously, it follows, "If I am the way I am because of my mother and father, then they are the way they are because of their mothers and fathers."  The next question is, "Why were they that way?"  At which point the wild eyed optimism of ordinary intelligence will say, "Don't give me that irrelevant stuff, we're not getting anywhere.  I've got problems, and it's somebody's fault."  There is no environment separate from everything else.

     I will continue to hope that you have some personal understanding and use for my rhetorical questions to you; they are not direct questions, and there are no direct answers to them.  If you think there are, then you didn't hear them.  When I say man believes, or consciousness tells humanity such and such is true and then ask you, "Why?"  The question you should ask yourself is, "What possible use could this be serving for Life?  What purpose?"  But you can't look for an answer at the ordinary level of consciousness; it already has an answer.  When I tell you that it is not understood by humanity that, in a sense, there is no such thing as the environment, you should ask yourself, "Why?"  What purpose could be served on another level for large segments of humanity (those in the forefront of the growth of life) to apparently believe otherwise?

     Along those same lines, what purpose that ordinary consciousness cannot see, is being served by man feeling and believing that there is a psychology; that there is a head part that is separate from the body and it is from this head part that cometh my "personal problems"?  Expand that as far as you can.  I say there is no specific answer, but of course there is.  But if I told you, you wouldn't understand it, because then you would have an answer.  But why is it?  This belief separating the head from thee body is in everybody at the ordinary level of consciousness; the most educated and the most sophisticated people on this planet feel and believe that there is a psychology.  Now down in the body you can get cancer, you can get a hernia, you can turn your ankle, but those are jobs for the doctor.  But the personal problems, the real problems, the day to day problems, the problems that seem to "stand between me and further expansion of my own capabilities and happiness," comes from the head.  There is just no doubt about it. Everyone can feel it.  They are not coming from being too hungry, or not having shelter.  No, they are a different kind of problem, and they come from your head.  You can feel it, and at that level of consciousness it is true.  Again I'm asking you, "What purpose could possibly be served through this induced feeling that Life is letting come out through man, since I'm telling you that there is no psychology?"

     Likewise, there is no such thing as psychosomatic illness.  People saying, "I don't feel good, but the doctor checked me out and said there was nothing wrong.  He convinced me, and I know that it's up here in my skull.  I can't explain it, it's psychosomatic."  In my crude way of putting it, it would only be a psychosomatic illness if we were dealing with a man who was decapitated, and his head laying over here says, "You are wrong, I still don't feel good."  (If you can find that example then you've caught me, and I was wrong.)

     This feeling is everywhere in our part of the world, but there are still places on this planet where the center of consciousness is not at the Yellow Circuitry, and they do not have feelings of psychosomatic illness.  Things are speeding up faster and faster, but still there are people whose Yellow Circuit is not activated to the same level as you, Western man.  They do not have a feeling of a psychology in them, separate from their body.  If you noticed a child in their village who was unduly noisy, and tried to explain to them that this was probably due to the way his parents raised him, it would make no sense to them, even if they understood the words you were saying.  They would think it was just another variation of ideas they have of spirits; that there is an evil spirit in the kid.  If you tried to make the analogy that this other kid is limping because a rock fell on him, and the first kid is crying and making noise because in a sense, a rock hit him in his personality somewhere, it just wouldn't compute.  They do not yet have that feeling of separation.  What could be going on?  What possible use is being served for the time being by all of you having that feeling?  Why does the head feel separate from the rest of you?  Why do these personal problems, these so-called emotional and mental problems, need a psychiatrist instead of a doctor?

     What I have been crudely sketching tonight is that what seems to ordinary consciousness, from one view, can be seen as the exciting mode, a part of C force.  Then that which seems to not be a part of one's consciousness could be seen as the resistance, in the employ of the calming mode, so things do not get carried away and out of balance.  Then there is that something which is obviously the third leg.  Then I changed the stakes of the game and pointed out that to successfully do This Thing, to be at all conscious above the ordinary level, is to change that internal balance:  consciousness above the Line would be as though it were in the exciting mode, in the employ of C Force and change, while what had been your C Force, your exciting mode below the Line, now becomes part of the resistance.  The E Force then, based upon this sketch, is the consciousness of Life itself.

   The few people who are able to touch the consciousness of Life itself, and it is physical, are serving various purposes, but you must understand by now that they are very small purposes.  However, it can have powerful effects, which is why Life does it.  That is why there are times in history, often involving only one historical figure, when apparently something happened.  It is part of the growth process of Life.

     I have never predicted what might happen to This Thing.  In terms of numbers, it is not up to the number of people, but no matter what happens, the physical touching of the consciousness of Life is serving distinct purposes.  In order of importance, it is assisting Life, it is assisting humanity and it is assisting you.  Look who is of least importance.

     But, if by now it is to the point where no matter what happens you could not shake yourself free of This, you can see that it's almost impossible for ordinary people to ever comprehend as much as you understand now.  Even if your resistance is such that you almost understand nothing, if the number of people involved did expand, you would see that the further it grows, the less people would comprehend what is going on.  That's just the way it is.  Even if your understanding is extremely limited to comprehending maybe just enough to realize you like it and will stick with it, the more This activity expands, the more that little bit of understanding will appear huge.  People will begin to take This as being something else.  It will then begin to serve another purpose.  But, regardless, it is serving the growth of Life, and it is serving to assist humanity's growth, but when it gets down to the individual level it is almost too late.  They begin to eat off what you people have already chewed up and part of the energy being passed along is now gone.

     If I were to withdraw from This and just let you people carry on, and it did expand, you would see that what these new people want, and what they seem to be getting, is not what you got out of it, and they don't seem to want anymore.  They are hearing it in a slightly different way and they don't comprehend what is going on.  But it would seem logical that if I came back and did the same thing with them that I did with you, it would be a different matter.  I say yes and no, which sounds right, but don't bet on it.

     Here's something for your Neuralization:  All over the world, as far back as you have a history of the Yellow Circuit, there has been the idea, the belief, the feeling of the need for and potential benefit of prayer.  It is still extant in you at the ordinary level of consciousness.  It is widespread throughout the world, whether it be praying to imaginary would-be tree gods and spirits, or to the good old monotheistic supreme being.

     I want you to Neuralize what is going on.  What possible purpose is being served?  Why is the feeling in you?  You've felt it in times of need, times of hardship, or at other times you've felt so good you've wanted to say "thank you gods up there."  Remember there's no such thing as imagination or wasted motions. Life does not do anything foolish, except of course, once, and prayer is not a one-time deal because it has been here as long as humanity has been here.

     I want you to try and consider the purpose of prayer, taking into account any possible descriptions I have given:  the Flows, the Forces, the Exciting/Calming, there is no out there, that Life is continually attempting to become more conscious, and that everything is physical.  If you were conscious up to that level, you could see Life has a life.  It is alive.  It is more conscious than you.  It is obviously bigger than you.  You are inside it and a part of it.  Life is alive and you are alive in it.

     Prayers are a physical reality on this level.  They are physical not "spiritual."  That is that prayers in some way are little particles of respect, fear and love for something outside the system.  But, there is no out there.  Everything is helping to transfer energy.  Everything is serving some purpose.  I am asking you what purpose is the notion of prayer serving?

     The more some of you begin to be able to touch Life's consciousness, the things you used to be sure of, the points that were activated, the excitement/calming balance now shifts.  If we go back to the stories of old gods, the old figure separate from this, what if you met him, the man who knows it all and knows what's going on, and he says, "Well, on one hand I think maybe I should do this with life, but then on the other hand..."?  That would be meeting the gods and not being prepared.  That is when you come back and you're still the same, but now you are a mystic, you say, "He talked to me and I couldn't begin to tell you.  It was just unbelievable things."  Yes, such as, "On one hand, I think...but on the other hand, I think..."

     Humanity and its consciousness is Life talking to itself.  The level of consciousness of humanity is the level at which Life can sit around and talk about things to itself at the mechanical level.  But when you get above the Line, then Life is talking to itself at a different level.  If you are out jogging and singing the same four bars of a song over and over, that in a sense is Life talking to itself.  But that would be its mechanical level of consciousness, which is the ordinary level here.  Which would be what you would experience if you were not prepared for external gods who would say, "Hey, I don't know, sometimes yes, sometimes no." But to be able to touch another level, Life is not saying, "Well, sometime yes, sometime no," in the same sense.  Because in the same way that you have a possibility of a higher level of consciousness, so does Life.  And the more people that do This, the higher it goes.  But just like you, it can't go too far.  Life has to get out and get drunk occasionally over the weekend.  It is another level to This Thing, but it has an exact parallel here.  We can't overdo This either.  So you are going to be stuck being part of Life's mechanical consciousness.  You personally are no more than one note in one song.  Actually it would be like one whole nation, one whole race would be one note, and you would be stuck in the middle of that.  That is you.  That is ordinary consciousness.  But there is something to be said for that.  Remember:  It is safe and secure.  I warned you about that to begin with, so don't blame me.