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Summary by TK
Jan Cox Talk 153, Apr 11, 1985, runtime 1:10
[Re: creativity (that which encourages Life to grow): YOU CANNOT BE SARCASTIC AND BE CREATIVE. Great and enduring art includes no shred of sarcasm. YOU CANNOT BE CYNICAL AND BE AN EXPLORER. Cannot recognize new territory as new if cynical. Cynicism is like a biochemical reinforcing of existing templates of experience--thus can't see or learn anything new. YOU CANNOT BE FEARFUL AND CHANGE.]
[There is no such thing as absolute purity, yet language treats as if there were. Thus whenever impurity is encountered it is criticized. Consciousness wired-up to see (look for) only purity; yet itself is impure and couldn't recognize anything pure if it stepped in it. Only real purity is Primal Flow--which cannot be experienced directly. It is thus, Nexologically pure.]
[Religious statement that" Jesus wants to live through you" is an unknown truth. Consider Life's constant search for the Few to further its growth.]
[A prime example of the struggle between natural grid wiring and extraordinary effort of This Thing: passing up a bloody car wreck without looking. You don't need philosophical tomes or church services to see this directly. Connection to the feeling of being wronged in the past by someone, then somebody telling you bad news gossip about them; it’s almost impossible to resist listening to it. You can resist on two levels: say out loud "I don't want to hear it" and 2. resist internally the desire to hear the gossip or blood and guts. Refuse even to discuss this resolve internally. Must fight the biochemical predisposition occasioned by the words "have you heard about so & so?" Remember: the only success in this is success. All efforts are failure. Must do it, not think of doing it. More on the disharmony between any two of the infra-systems: pool hall example: can't win because of a "subconscious desire to fail" vs. muscles’ certain knowledge of superior ability. I.e., mind's goal (can't win) in conflict with muscles' goal ("gonna kick ass!"). Can use this knowledge as technique in This Thing to effect biochemical change to eliminate disharmonies.]
[If J. had been absolutely definitive and consistent with names and definitions in This Thing, i.e. used "self-neuralization = to be aware of consciousness without being aware of what consciousness says that it is, "can you see that familiarity breeds unquestioned reality and truth so that real ignorance takes on the color of knowledge? Understanding is synonymous with being able to do. Familiarity as knowledge is not equal to understanding; this is the classical Yellow Circuit functioning. Thus J. has pulled and stretched the words and map forms out of recognition to defeat this tendency. Especially lately an emphasis on vagueness. But shortly that will all change; the public format must be definitive, structured.]
[Time clocks in Life: 1. lifetime of a man is one time clock. 2. time clock of This Thing - i.e. miss the train now and you can never catch up. Time is rapidly approaching to let go and ride the train's momentum.]
[Discussion of financial considerations for public format of This Thing: specifically locating and paying for an appropriate building.]
[TASK: Be creative daily: make up aphorisms for each day between July 1 and Dec 31
IF IT SUCCEEDS, IT'S SUCCESSFUL
Document: 153, April 11, 1985
Copyright (c) Jan M. Cox, 1985
I want to expand on something I had mentioned, and that is: if you were not pleased, you could not grow. To be pleased necessarily requires you to be moving in the flow of the First Force, which I subsequently renamed the "C" Force, or creative urge. When you are pleased, you move with this generative flow; when you move in this flow, you find you are pleased. And this "creative pleasedness" happens not only when you deliberately try to write, draw, or play music, it exists whenever you feel as though you are somehow more aligned with those things which are encouraging Life itself to grow. In fact, your own growth depends on your alignment with the growth of Life.
You cannot be sarcastic and be creative. Despite the fact that most humor and a great deal of the passing art forms and writings are based on a sort of sarcasm, if you look at the creative efforts that seem to have survived for any period of time, you will find them almost devoid of any sarcasm. Great works of art, lofty ideas, memorable artistic endeavors, do not push hostility onto the recipient or poke fun at the misfortunes of anyone. Just for something to survive at the ordinary level, it must be based on a regenerative rather than a destructive energy. Even if it began as a desperate attempt to get a certain point across, years later the effect does not seem sarcastic.
And I do encourage anyone interested in This Thing to find creative outlets and activities. Go ahead and paint, or write poetry, or sing songs. But while you are doing so, do not allow yourself to be hostile. You should be able to feel, to almost smell what I mean when I say that much so-called "creativity" is based on a sort of sarcastic hostility -- and this will not further your work Here and is not truly creative, either. Your voices may tell you otherwise: it is the task of artists and men of vision to point out the foibles and shortcomings of society. You can throw paint on a canvas in front of a fan and label the result, "Our Great War Machine Pretending Peace," or some such, but you should be able to smell the sarcasm, even beyond any verbal labels or explanations. And I don't mean that only contemporary artists and entertainers base their work on something less than creative. Look around; anywhere within your generation, you should be able to spot the hostility in the work itself, even years later. You cannot move within the flow of growth and true creativity while still supporting sarcasm.
I am trying to refine your understanding of hostility. Sarcasm is one of the children of father hostility you might say. And people often feel they are involved in some great creative self-expression when they are really only being sarcastic. That's why I have tried to point out the specific difference between what you might call "hostile creativity" and an energy use and direction that really does fall in the vicinity of the creative force. Of course, sarcasm has a place in Life, or it wouldn't exist at all. Remember, it takes all kinds, or there would not be all kinds. Life does have a very limited and specific use for sarcasm, but not in the creative flow. You cannot do both.
Let me give you another one while I'm on the subject of hostility's children: you cannot be cynical and be an explorer. If you are cynical you will never recognize new territory even when you step in it. The mind, the respiratory system, will not be in a condition to allow you to recognize new territory. Suppose a Christopher Columbus or a Magellan found the new world while in a state of cynicism. Would we be here or would we still be living in the old country? They might never have reported the discovery, might never have even recognized it for a new discovery, all because of a certain sort of cynicism.
How about the world of philosophy and religion? All the way from ancient teachings to the newest cults, if you sniff carefully, you can sense rampant cynicism. And all the while, of course, they are preaching love for the gods, love for mankind, "brotherhood among us right-thinking people." Listen to the thread of cynicism. That thread runs all through it. "We are here to do the work of the gods," they say. And the tacit implication is that all the rest of us are out in the dark, working against the good they are trying to do. Or how about the old, old tactic: "Here I am, a new prophet sent by the gods out of the wilderness. Oh! I know, a lot of you are going to think I'm crazy now -- all except for you good people who are here agreeing with me. Well, we'll just let the ignorant world go its own way, won't we?" You cannot be an explorer; you cannot discover any new territory, if you're cynical.
If I turned the tables on you and became more personal, I could say that all of you who are attracted to This are, in the beginning, almost more cynical than the norm. You had looked for a long time, maybe even without realizing, you were looking for something that would satisfy your urge for the truly creative and genuinely real. And because you had abandoned so many things in your search, you came to This with a doubtful air of "Prove it, buster." You may still be struggling with it even after knowing in another part of you that you have already found something in Life that finally will show you this new territory. You must rid yourself of this cynicism or it will strangle you, because This Thing lives in the growth and creation of Life itself. Any energy you entertain flowing back against the creative flow will only work against you, now and always, preventing you from discovering the very thing you hope to find.
There is a particularly subtle variety of cynicism that you need to be aware of. It falls in the realm of, "Nobody really knows anything, and if they did, they wouldn't tell me." Or put another way, "There is no reality to anything and yet I can't quit hoping. But I know I'll be disappointed. I'll either be disappointed or I'll be taken in or ripped off somehow." And you cannot learn anything new from that position. You cannot see a new thing right under your nose if you are cynical. It will just be invisible. You remain in a sort of mold where your viewpoint is, "Whatever I see, that's it. That's all there is, no matter how bad it all looks." You may try to take a look at something new to you if somebody drags you to it, but your entire posture will be one of resignation. "Oh, yeah, okay, I'll read it, I'll read it. But I don't expect anything from it, just remember that."
All hostile and negative energies run counter to the creative flow you want to throw yourself into. All hostilities are just variations of each other, and all of them stop cold your efforts to find the truly new. You cannot be sarcastic and be creative; you cannot be cynical and be an explorer; you cannot feel fear and simultaneously make real change.
There is something further you need to be aware of in all this talk of "creative" versus "destructive" forces. That is, at the level of ordinary consciousness, there is no such thing as a "pure" force, or in fact, a "pure" anything else. There is no such thing, for example, as a "pure" type of person, like a Yellow Circuit person or a Red Circuit person. Ordinary consciousness has a great deal of trouble dealing with the idea that nothing is pure on its level, because it deals in naming, specifying, delineating. To Ordinary consciousness things look good or bad. They never look both simultaneously. The spoken language, which reflects the patterning of the Yellow Circuit and its ordinary awareness, speaks of things being pure. It knows no other way to communicate. For example, it speaks of people being "purely" one thing or another. On a slightly less personal level, it speaks of activities as though they were purely and solely defined by their name. "This is good behavior, this is bad behavior, this works, this never does, such and such is a prime example of pure charity." Of course, its most emphatic pronouncements concern that which seem to be wrong. "Here is an example of evil incarnate. He's just no good through and through."
Now, the ordinary consciousness of humanity is arranged in just this way for a very good purpose. People aren't mistaken when they speak in this way, and yet, on the level of ordinary consciousness, there is no "pure" anything. From your viewpoint, attempting to follow me here, you should begin to recognize the confusion ordinary consciousness lives in as a result of this discrepancy. In fact, things are even more confusing than you would think, because exactly at this point, ordinary consciousness explains away the confusion by proclaiming that people are so confused because they are "purely" misled in what they do. A sort of double whammy, making it impossible for a person to see that it is the original perception that is off -- the perception that anything at this level can be a "pure" anything. The very assumption of the purity of perception causes the "problem" to be a problem.
Even worse, since at this level nothing is pure, the perceptual mechanism itself is not a pure anything, and thus could not perceive a "pure" something if it stepped in it. Take a small quantum leap and Consider this: why is it that all the great thinkers, the great mystics throughout the ages, have always said that the gods were beyond comprehension? "Trust me. I'm telling you the truth. It's amazing squared, it's astounding. And I've been there, I've talked to the gods, I've had supper with them and they told me secrets -- but I'm telling you, they're beyond comprehension." Why do you suppose they all said that? Because when the perceiving mechanism is faulty, then everything it sees is clouded by the fault as well. If it saw a pure thing, it could not see it as pure.
Something related: there is a connection between the fact that all humans have come up with the idea of extrinsic gods, and the fact at a level beyond ordinary consciousness, there is a kind of "nexological purity," which I could again call the Primal Flow. I could also call this the total complexity of the whole body of Life. But even if it exists, I can't make you see it, because it remains invisible at the ordinary level. You have to push yourself beyond the ordinary level if you want to perceive such a "purity." Despite all longings and all claims, no one in the ordinary world can see this "god-likeness." The Pope can't see it. The world's most learned rabbi can't see it. And it doesn't do you any good to go to those who claim to have had mystical exposure to the gods, because they will insist the experience is beyond comprehension, beyond their ability to relate to you at your level of understanding. In short, if there does exist something in a pure form, and you, just as you ordinarily are, were confronted with it, you could not see it right in front of your eyes. And it is right in front of your eyes.
Go back a minute to my previous question. Why does ordinary consciousness work in this manner, if its basic assumption, its perception of things as "pure," is wrong? Look a little further. What do you mean when you make a definitive comment about another person? "So and so is evil, he's done something totally unforgivable." What are you saying? At least in part, you're saying, "Do not trust that person. He's wrong. She's a liar. End of comment. That's my perception, that's all I can see, I don't need to know anything else. Don't tell me she gave all of her last year's clothes to Goodwill, don't tell me he treats his children better than anyone I ever knew. I don't want to hear it. Don't confuse the issue for me. He's wrong and she's a liar. End of comment." Ordinary consciousness deals with Life by dividing it up and providing boundaries, so things seem to be "purely" one thing or another. And they're not.
Let me drag in religion for a short paragraph. All religions, from the most ancient to the most modern, up to the minute, preach that the high men, the gods, "want to live their life through you." I assume you can hear the reality behind that. Unknowingly, they're telling the truth. Life continually seeks the Few through which it, in a pure form not perceivable by ordinary consciousness, can live. Through those Few, it continually strives for greater purity and creativity. But "it," Life, is alive now, and no longer lives through those prophets the religions preach about -- those people are dead. Religions use this as a sort of carrot to dangle in front of your nose. That some little piece of the gods lingers about, just waiting for you, hoping you'll come join this church, come be a good whatever, and then if you do that, maybe the gods can come down on earth and live here, through you. And the preachers don't know it, but they're telling the truth, other than the fact that they don't know what they're saying, and other than the fact that places where Life does try to spring through, like Here, are not normally recognizable "things."
Let me take you back for a moment to something I said, when I mentioned that you should try to pass a brutally messy highway accident without allowing yourself to look at it, to become embroiled in the negativity of it. That you should note, without explanation or apology, the almost irresistible urge to become caught up in the pull such a thing has for everyone. This situation is a prime example of the struggle between the natural, hard-wired tendencies of the normal human, and the attempt to push the system into a higher state. It's a clear cut, absolute, splendid example. Just try it. Pull up to the bloody accident, with people moaning and screaming, and try not to look, not even to glance at it. Everything in you will be yelling, "I will die! It's uncontrollable! I have to look, I have to look!" And you can get right up next to the accident before all your resolve disappears, and you will look anyway. I am telling you, to attempt not to look would be a prime example of what This Thing is, without any morality being dragged into the issue. The situation is the same for absolutely everyone, regardless of individual hard-wired idiosyncrasies. You should begin to sense the truth of this. Take any habit you wish you could break -- smoking, overeating, biting your fingernails -- and put that up against the internal battle to go past a truly gory accident without even glancing at the foot sticking up out of the wreckage. Compared to that, it's easy to stop biting your fingernails. Stop smoking? That's easy! You think you can go past that accident without looking? You think that's simple compared to your bemoaned bad "habits"? Go try it. It's not easy. You want to know what This Thing is all about? Go try it. You don't have to go to church. You don't have to study heavy philosophical tomes. All you have to do is find a car wreck on the interstate.
Let me bring this to another level. Suppose there is in your past an incident where someone seriously wronged you. Something bad enough that whenever that person comes to mind, you feel all over again, "They wronged me." And suppose someone else came up to you some time later and said, "Hey, do you know what happened to so and so?" (So and so being the person you can't quite forgive.) Now what do you do? How do you respond? Here is this person all ready to tell you something that may be very juicy -- something terrible may have happened to the idiot who treated you so badly so long ago. So what do you do? Again, if you want to feel the power of This Thing, say, "Oh, never mind. I don't want to know." Or maybe even better say, "Yeah, I heard," (without having ever heard anything.) And then change the subject. Absolutely resist. Do not allow that other person to tell you the juicy gossip that part of you just aches to gloat over. You should be able to hear the difficulty of doing this.
Now go down deeper, into the very trenches where your biochemical activity is the reality. Try to resist even the desire to hear all the bad news about this person who wronged you. Remember, I am simply expanding my long ago example of the "tiger behind the door," of the film that wants to reel through your consciousness. Outside, you may be able to resist encouraging the news bringer to feed your biochemical need to hear the latest bad tidings about the scum bag you hate, but inside? Inside you may go ahead and imagine all the most dastardly things you can conjure up for him -- but remember, inside is where it counts. Inside is where the biochemistry is working at its most basic, most insistent level. The real struggle is not between you and your news bringer. The real struggle is between you and this thing that seems to be consciousness. The real struggle is to resist the desire to hear the bad news. That struggle is a reality; you can feel it as an absolute chemical change in you. The proof is not in your apparent behavior. The proof is in whether you can resist the internal pull. "Oooooh! I stopped them from telling, but god I'd like to know about it! You can't fake it inside. What is there to fake? That's why there are no such things as real Christians or real Buddhists at the ordinary level, because people think the struggle is all external, and it's not. It's internal, and radical beyond belief. That's why most religions break down into, "Well, we're all fallible. We're all just struggling to be good, to be better, to be like the gods. I never said I was perfect. I'm just trying to be perfect. And I fail a lot, I've got to admit." Real religion, real philosophy, This thing, exists as a change on the biochemical level, and most people simply do not have the wherewithal, the energy, the knowledge, for real change. Hence the dreary variations on the theme of "guilty." "Oh, I try, I really do try to be different, but it's so hard." Of course it's hard. It's hard because Life doesn't need more than a very few at any one time to actually become godlike. It's hard because Life does need a great many people to try and fail and suffer over their failures.
Now forget religion and philosophy and spiritual messages and psychological problems. When there is someone you hate, and a tale bringer offers to feed you more bad news about the scoundrel, your biochemical makeup, your actual physical you, is already salivating. The problem is not in your head, it's in your molecules. It's in your blood, in your breath, in your genes. The sound of his voice has already created a biochemical change that you feel as a hunger for the bad news. Your ears heard, told your brain, passed the message down to your most basic molecular level...and there you stand, salivating.
You say you can resist this? No ordinary person can resist. He would be going against his very self. Get down and dirtier: can you resist the enjoyment of the excitement of the very anticipation of hearing the bad news? It's as if, when that person's name is mentioned and someone says, "Do you remember so and so?," your entire system goes, "DO I?" And you're already slobbering, falling all over yourself to satisfy the biochemical hunger that those simple words brought about.
You can stop this process. Stop it cold. But it's not a trick I can teach you. It's something you must See for yourself. Sort of akin to your Seeing that there is no point to your drinking poison, or taking up hallucinogens again. I would not do those things -- simply for biotic reasons. For my own chemical health. It's got nothing to do with morality, it's got nothing to do any more with even a struggle, where I call on the names of the gods to help me resist evil and do good. There's nobody to help me, or to help you. All there is is your resisting the desire to be altered in such an unprofitable, biochemical fashion. That is success. That sort of resistance. Remember: all effort is failure. Only success is successful.
Let me take you under my arm and run with you in a slightly different direction. Religion has more or less, in our sophisticated age, resolved down into the idea of the "unconscious." "Evil" has become "unconscious motivations." Of course, there is some reality to this or Freud could not have thought it up, but you should realize by now that any simple explanation at grid level is useless Here. It's useless for me to tell you, "Hey, go into analysis!" But you know that. What I want to point out here has to do with my sketch of the three infra-systems. Can you begin to see a sort of disharmony between the immediate aims of each of the three infra-systems? For example, let's say you normally feel the equal of anyone, and yet whenever you get around Fred you seem to do everything possible to make an ass of yourself, almost as though you wanted to look like his inferior. As though you wanted to be a failure around him. And you can't understand it normally, so you throw it into the murky arena of the "subconscious." As if, if you had time to go into analysis, you could clear up the problem or at least see where in your childhood it originated. How about this -- I'll give you another great musical question -- what if in this situation your muscles have one immediate aim and your mind another one? And the result looks inexplicable to you. The result looks like you have "unconscious motivations" to make an ass of yourself in front of Fred. In the past you would have explained it as the whims of the gods, now you explain it in terms of psychology. But what if the situation is more ingrained than that? What if there's a difference between the way the muscles are wired up in you and the way your respiratory system is wired up, and whenever you get around Fred, he acts as a catalyst for that particular difference, by his very act of being Fred and feeding your biochemical system "Fredness" whenever he's around? You only think you have "subconscious desires."
But perhaps you still want to suffer. Perhaps you still take comfort in the refuge, "I'm a long way from ever getting home with this thing...all those deep rooted fears I have, all this hostility...it's just a long time before I'll ever get it right. It's like I live in a shabby house that has all these knotholes in the floor and every time I sit down on the floor to smoke a cigarette, 3 or 4 more rats poke their heads up through the holes!"
There is a cure. There is a kind of biochemical change that acts like an instant, house-wide extermination. You could see me as the great, mystical exterminator man. When that biochemical change occurs, the whole house is fumigated and the rats simply don't show up again.
Through all of this, can any of you See that if I had made my maps out of concrete -- if I had named certain ideas by one name and then stuck by that name from the beginning till now -- can you See that your Yellow Circuit would have also cast those ideas in concrete within the second or third mention of that particular term? Almost immediately, it would have grabbed onto the first description and then taken any further mention of the matter and thrown it into the same familiar mold. That's what the Yellow Circuit does. That's its function. Even when it doesn't understand the concept -- if it's just familiar with it -- familiar with the sound of it -- it refuses to pursue the matter further. What that amounts to is this: ignorance has taken on the color of knowledge, via words.
Let's say I use the term "Self Neuralization." You don't know what it means, really, but you've heard me use the words, maybe you've read the words somewhere in something I may have written. And you think, "I can't really do that, but I think...I think I know just what he means. Alright. I nearly understand that, even if I can't really do it. Oooooh! That's a neat idea, and I almost got it just then..." If you're quick, you should understand by now that if you can't do it, you don't know it. You don't understand it. True understanding is synonymous with the ability to act on it.
So let's say I started in the beginning with this term "Self Neuralization," and I used it over and over, and wrote it into books, and my repetition acted like a continual hammer. And let's say that every time you heard this term, "Self Neuralize," or read it, you took it very seriously, based on your hope that someday you would truly be able to accomplish "Self Neuralization." So every time the words hit, they hit your biochemistry directly. Little light waves came up and hit the rods and cones and made that little alteration in your brain..."Self Neuralize...Self Neuralize...yeah, yeah..." And you get so familiar with it, the Yellow Circuit operates on the basis of familiarity. So much so that if you were stopped and questioned, "Can you actually do that?," you'd have to say, "No, but I know what it means." That is ignorance. If you can't do it, you don't understand what "it" is. You don't say, out in the ordinary world, "I am a mathematician," if you can't follow a quadratic equation. You don't say, "Quadratic equation? No, but I sure am a mathematician." You can't say you're a doctor if you never practice medicine. And yet the Yellow Circuit will operate in exactly that fashion over something un-understood like "Self Neuralize."
Do you begin to See? Here we are again, at the point where people want to know exactly what to do to do This Thing. "Alright, I believe you may know something. And I want to know what it is. I'm prepared to pay whatever the price may be, but just give it to me, okay? I'm a big boy or girl, so don't beat around the bush -- just hand it over so I can look at it myself, alright?" Do you begin to See the problem here? The Yellow Circuit likes nice, solid answers. It likes consistency. "I mean, if all these things are really true, please describe them for me. I've got some time, I want to devote some energy to This Thing, please just tell me. But....please be consistent. Don't keep turning around and calling things by different names every three or four months. How can I get familiar with things if you do that? Maybe you don't think I've noticed, but I do, and it's almost like you keep changing the rules on me. That doesn't sound like what you were saying before. I'm starting to feel like I don't even know what you're talking about! Are you beginning to contradict yourself???" MMMMM...hmmmm.
Do you See what I've been doing? How I've pulled and stretched the maps until they almost have no form left? I've almost knocked some things out of existence; but there's a reason for that, and the reason is partly that This Thing has to go out onto another level. Here you went and put down something I said and it rang just right for your circuitry. So you wrote it down and then I never said anything more about it. And then several weeks later I said something under the same heading that seemed to totally contradict my first statement. And you got off in a corner and looked at the two statements together. You're no fool... "Hey, here we thought this was true and he goes and says this. Wait a minute...they can't both be true."
What's happening is I'm stretching things to point where they might become acceptable on a public level. Things need to be reformed into a more simplistic guide if the many are going to be able to make use of it. It can't be This. For the masses, This is not food, it's insanity. Or worse, people would think I was making jokes at their expense.
Here's a little quickie: there are clocks and timetables in the body of Life, and one of the clocks is the normal life span of a human being. And within a human life span is an infra-clock, and this is tied directly to This. And if you wait too long, the train will leave, and you can't ever catch up. Listen to me carefully, because within that description is almost a definition of This Thing, or the closest I may ever come to a definition of This Thing. It's not magic in the ordinary sense, but the time is coming when some of you are just going to have to let loose and let the momentum of this train push you forward. And to do this you're going to have to See that there's nothing to be cynical about, no basis for sarcasm. That you can't even get close to being creative unless you are pleased. I'm tearing away the forms right before your eyes. Pretty soon, all you will have left to do is turn loose and let yourself be pushed. The timetable of This Thing has its own momentum and its own needs, and there may come a time when one turn of the merry-go-round will have enough speed that to keep up, you will have to relax and let yourself be carried further in a creative sense than some of your voices would tell you that you deserve. I'm not going into that, because if we get to that point, and you get it, you deserve it as far as I'm concerned.
Just ignore any voices that speak about a physical gap -- that you haven't known about This long enough, or maybe you don't even know me personally, or you're not smart enough...maybe you have the advantage. Maybe, being new to This, you can jump on the backs of some of the people who have known about it longer than you. Maybe you can steal success. Remember: if it succeeds, it's successful.