Jan Cox Talk 0157

The Continual Act

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Jan Cox Talk 157, May 9, 1985, runtime 1:41

  [There is a way in which those of This Thing can have a real effect on Life at large. But to do so you must be satisfied in all you do.]
  [The "separate I" is the sum total of all the voices from all circuits. It is absolutely mechanical. Above the line is the direct voice of Life itself: utterly immediate and simple, certain (a surety). Always there is the feeling of certainty recognized even in the historical accounts of Life talking directly (i.e. the Sermon on the mount by Jesus, etc.)]
  [Mechanical life needs rules. The Few are free of all such rules. This Thing must always verge on chaos. There is a part of your circuitry that craves a police state, a natural captivity and safety, comfort, predictability. For maximum potential for Life's growth, freedom verging on absolute chaos is absolutely required.]
  [The 'bad news" syndrome. The ordinary proclivity and sensitivity to untoward events. Another way to consider same: Life's continuing sensation of never accomplishing enough.]
  [You must be able to ignore the internal voices to extend yourself, to grow.]
  [More on TCA, "the continual act". Connection to the tricks and tasks given. This is "the answer" --you must put on an act at all times: alone, in a crowd, etc. Your act should involve all 3 infra-systems. J. gives whole series of examples (waiting around for your car to be serviced, standing in line at a bank, etc.--stand differently, be consciousness of breath...anything as long as you know you wouldn't ordinarily do such, that it's just an act). Turn all attention from internal voices to external voices of other people as a technique for TCA.]
  [It is Life's ability to play to a very limited audience (e.g. avant-garde classical or atonal music) that allows experimentation (remember, Life will try anything once) that cannot gain general application. "here today and gone tomorrow" syndrome--Life would stagnate without periodic brushfires. ]
  [Example of the evolution of the Republican party from an originally liberal bias in Civil War times to present conservative bias. When this is pointed out to the ordinary there is the reaction: "that doesn't prove anything!" which should cause the Few to exclaim "Aha! it proves everything!!!"


Transcript

THE SPECTRUM OF INTERNAL FREEDOM MUST RANGE TO NEAR-CHAOS

Copyright(c) Jan M. Cox, 1985
Document:  157,  May 9, 1985

         Before you ever came across This Thing you had heard the idea that a man is either serving good, or he is serving evil.  There is reality to that.  I don't want you to get the metaphysical blues, but you should realize that This Thing is not going to lead to some great mystical experience in which you walk around three inches off the planet or get an uncontrollable urge to shave your head.  If that is what you want, it is available at supermarkets and from people lurking in restrooms at night clubs.  In a sense there is not much difference between living This -- in which you are attempting to activate a higher circuit -- and everyday life.

     I could present This Thing by saying, "There is a right way for a Few people to operate:  you can directly affect your internal workings.  It is as though you can find a way to stick your finger into your own heart and effect your emotional states.  There are ways you can directly alter what goes on in your head, and it is not done through chanting or trying to make your mind a blank.  You can actively, dynamically affect all of what ordinarily goes on in your own nervous system.  It is all for one purpose:  to make you Do, in the full sense of "Do".  It is to think, feel, and move in such a way that you are absolutely satisfied.  Satisfied such that you cannot be disturbed.  Anything less than that is your present condition, which has variously been called sleep, sin, or being misled."  That description, as a standard, would be the basis for some sort of cult.  But notice the apparent complexity and vagueness in my actual exposition.  It is not simply a trick.  Without some kind of personal understanding on your part of what This is, you would become someone's follower.  You would understand nothing and you would not be any closer to Life's kinetic force.

     Let me point out again, the sensation that is hardwired into everyone of being absolutely helpless under certain conditions.  It strikes you at times that you are like a little lost leaf blowing in the winds.  You must maintain a continuing awareness that that side of you is mechanical; it is hard-wired and cannot be changed to any noticeable degree.  Not because I say so; it simply cannot be changed.  But it is no one's fault, because nothing is broken.

     You are as you are as long as you remain your hard-wired self, as long as "I" remains the totality of every personal voice within you.  I am referring to the voices from every circuit:  those that seem to speak to you in language, those that seem to be feelings and inexplicable moods, and those that seem to comment on and criticize your physical condition and appearance.  Through doing things you wouldn't normally do, and through exaggerating things you would normally do, you can come to See in a particular way that these voices cannot be redeemed.  "I" cannot be saved in some way.  It cannot be rectified or reconstructed.  "I" is not evil, but note, it always has the sensation that there is something wrong with it.  One's sense of "I" -- the sensation that there is ME against everything and everybody else -- is the collection of all the mechanical voices.

     That which remains what Life has had humanity call the spiritual, or the good side of man, appears to be another thing altogether.  Out in the ordinary world the degrees of vagueness concerning this "other thing" overlap so much that people end up fighting over which gods they worship.  Yet, it is simplicity itself.  Just above the level of the voices (all the voices that speak as your thoughts, desires and nightmares) is the simplicity of the direct voice of Life itself, and it is only a Few who can get above the Line and hear it for themselves.  Past that point there is no doubt or self-accusation.

     Once you begin to see this, you can spot This Thing through history no matter what it was called.  It could strike you, for instance, that through a given religion or movement, Life had spoken in a very direct manner.  First, through a particular person, and then through a small group of people, Life spoke with a distinct certainty, so much so that you can taste it 5,000 years later.  (It is not limited simply to history; Life speaks through people contemporaneously, but that can be difficult to see, because you have to be one of them to see it.

     This phenomenon that seems to pop up periodically contains a kind of certainty in what was spoken, regardless of the speaker.  It doesn't matter who said the words or whether the resultant religion is yours -- 5,000 years later there still seems to be something vital there.  The religions, of course, use that sensation to support the premise that their particular founder spoke the literal words of the gods, and that reflection is based upon reality.  The words contain a certainty, but not because their speaker was a great fellow or literally the son of the gods.  Life talks, and when it talks in this particular way -- as opposed to the vague mumblings that are the hard-wired self of everyone -- it talks very directly.

     Religions generally believe in the infallibility of their leader.  That is also based on reality, but the reality of it only happens in such as This Thing.  That is, I couldn't lie to you if I tried.  If right now I tried to make up something insane to tell you, I couldn't do it.  The truth is, people who are involved with This are truly infallible (except I will deny I ever said that).  It is not me, it is Life talking in a certain way, and when it gets strong enough, what it says is true at that moment and for at least one generation.  But the truth itself changes; that which Life decides does not proceed in a straight line.  And so Life talks in a certain way to particular figures who then tell others and collect a group -- which is always of another generation.  That is, the disciples outlive the founder.  After that, Life loses interest in going that way, or takes another step in a different direction, but that Thing was infallible for one generation.

     New subject:  there is a kind of freedom for the Few, but it is not necessarily the freedom of which you have dreamed.  It is not simply a payoff or reward.  It is that which is necessary for the maximum growth potential of Life itself.  To have this kind of possibility within the world of the Few, there has to be an internally available spectrum of freedom which ranges all the way from a kind of subtle dissent to near-chaos.

     In totalitarian countries, the news -- the public information -- is controlled by the state.  Bad news, in a sense, is never reported.  This Thing could not be going on presently in many countries of the world, for some reasons you might think obvious, and for others not necessarily so obvious.  To play with justice, do you think that if I did attempt to do This in a totalitarian state, enough interested people would show up to even fill a room?  I do not mean simply through fear of authority -- would there be enough actual interest?  In contrast, look at New York City of the late 20th century.  By general consensus it is the most dangerous place in the world to live, and yet, could be said to be one of the contemporary centers of modern, liberal sophistication and creativity.  What I am trying to get you to look at, in a certain way, is that, internally, there must be a kind of freedom for those doing This.  And it has to range on the far extreme to near-chaos -- that is, almost with no limitations.

     With all would-be religions, cults and mystical organizations, the name of the game is rules, rules, rules.  People need them, people seek them, and Life provides them.  Once something extraordinary falls into the ordinary mechanical flow -- once This Thing degenerates into a religion or cult -- you will find in it no surcease from rules; you will not feel any personal lack of restrictions.  People expect rules, even those pursuing This Thing, and would be quite satisfied if I gave them 27 new commandments.  It would be a comfort; they would feel like they were "getting somewhere".  But to do This correctly, you have to have a kind of freedom which entails an individual responsibility.  Totalitarianism is a comfort to a large segment of Life's body, and you can also see this in yourself.  Psychologists have come close to the edges of this phenomenon when looking at habitual criminals and "lifers" in the armed forces.  "How is it," they ponder, "that a man will subject himself to regimentation to such a degree?  How is it that someone released from prison will commit another crime knowing that he will return to jail for it?"  What the sociologists suspect is correct:  there are literally those who feel right at home in prison or the armed services.  In the ordinary world there is, for many people, a kind of comfort and safety in living in a police state.  It is a part of everyone's wiring system to want to be told what to do.

     You should see this tendency internally, yet at the same time understand, that certain aspects should not be tampered with.  If you are wired up correctly to be in This, there is no gain in playing with your health:  you are either healthy or you are about to die.  So-called "health consciousness" -- strange diets and keeping up with the latest diseases -- is just a hobby.  You might as well be in prison; it is beyond the point of being profitable.  The Red Circuit has a built-in yearning to live in a "police state" but that is not where potential for real growth resides.  There is nothing that can be done to the Red Circuit to increase consciousness.  Once you understand what the Red Circuit is up to, you simply feed it exercise, food and sex when it needs to be fed, and rest when it needs to rest.

     Above the Red Circuit is the area where you must initiate your own individual liberation movement for specific aims.  That liberation turns everything loose, and has to approach near-chaos:  but, of course, only you know it.  If there is not that kind of freedom within you, you are living in a police state -- you are being a follower.  Whether or not you are a follower of something external, you will be a follower, for sure, of the most mechanical aspect of Life itself -- your own sense of "I".  You will be imprisoned by "What I can and cannot do".  To be properly in This, you have to have already had the potential to understand murder without being a killer; to understand hostility even if all of your life you have worn a cardboard smile on your face and were afraid of your own shadow.

     If there are too many restrictions -- if you live down at the level where Life is muttering in general, vague terms -- you are in captivity.  The kinetic force, if it ever reaches that level, always gets eaten up.  The areas in you that could be the basis of new understanding and creativity in the real kinetic mode live, not in the restricted zones,  but just around the corner from near-chaos.  It is like New York City near Central Park.  In the daytime there are exciting art galleries, universities and ad agencies -- the locus of creativity -- and just across the street there is bedlam.  This Thing demands that spectrum of internal freedom.

     Often, people initially approaching This, feel as though they have paid a price that they can't identify.  The price is that they have not stepped into a greater police state.  (Of course, that is not the way they would express it.)  Straightforward answers to specific questions concerning behavior are not forthcoming, and to many people it all begins to sound very "iffy".  Someone may ask me, "Should I stop masturbating?  Is it affecting my spiritual growth?", or, "Will I be a better person if I stop eating rutabagas?", and  ("Where is Joe Stalin when you need him?")  To do This Thing properly you have to begin to confront a state of near-chaos.  (Notice I keep saying "near".)  You must See that right around the corner from your most focal, creative, and dependable point is New York City's Central Park at 2 a.m.  Just across the street from the place where it seems you can have the most inspirational new ideas, there is always a crowd ready to storm the barricades; to tear down the citadel with no thought of what they are going to do after they destroy it.  Without that spectrum of freedom, Life does not have the maximum potential to grow.  It happens externally -- it appears to be political -- and it happens internally.  You could very well feel:  "I am hanging onto This and onto Life almost by the skin of my skin.  Everything that seems to be the totality of my voices could be overthrown and blown apart at any time.  And who knows what would happen then?"  Of course, that would be your description of it.  I know what would happen then -- you would be freed.

     Let me change the subject and speak further about what I call the bad-news-syndrome.  You can observe that in the ordinary world only bad news seems to be worthy of being called news; only bad news survives, becomes history and has the power to be repeated.  Within you also is the need and the ability to accept that things are indeed going downhill.  Can you begin to Hear Life complaining (as you do) that it is never accomplishing enough?  I encourage you most strongly to Neuralize that.  It is a worldwide syndrome:  "I am dissatisfied."  I have explained it to you in several ways and have even noted that there is a biochemical basis for it.  It is the feeling of going downhill, of not performing to potential.

     Men do not ordinarily extend themselves beyond the minimal requirements of their own position.  They are left to forever doubt their individual worth and purpose.  It can't be changed.  Once you get a glimpse of that, you See why there is no prescription available for Man's ills.  It is the nature of living under the dictatorship of "I".  A person may apparently willfully adopt an exercise program and become more muscular as a result, but that is not extending one's self.  To extend one's self is to not listen to the internal voices.  It is to be able to do "the continual act".  Without the knowledge that it can be done, how it is done, and the need to do it no one ever extends themselves beyond their Life-produced genetic proclivity.  Unless you make a certain kind of effort, your Yellow and Blue Circuits, until the day you die, will be doubting your own purpose and validity.

     This worldwide and individual self-doubt is the ultimate prison.  "No matter what or how much I do, I still feel like warmed-over garbage!"  A Few people can feel satisfied with what they have done, but only they know it.  It is only possible for you when you are no longer operating at Line level.  From a new vantage point, every complaint, nightmare, and feeling of dissatisfaction is not only yesterday's news, it is someone else's news.  It is no longer your news.

     I mentioned "the continual act", and I want to go into that a bit further.  The "continual act" is not only doing a willful, deliberate act in what seems to be an isolated situation with your parents, sexual partner or someone at work.  Even when there is no apparent pressure to respond to circumstances, you should be doing it:  in every way, using every circuit.  The most obvious and simplest aspect to point out is the physical.  If you become aware that a certain posture is natural to you, that it is one of your usual comfortable poses, change it.  It does not have to be something greatly overt; I don't mean that you go from leaning against a building to standing on your head.  Just shift enough so that you know you are doing something not normal to you.  Better yet, imitate a posture you have seen others adopt but that is not in your repertoire.

     I am telling you something valuable:  you should do a continual act from the time you get up until the time you go to bed.  When you rise in the morning do a conscious, willful act. It doesn't matter what you do -- skip to the bathroom; act like Daffy Duck.  Pretend you are a world leader giving a profound speech, but do not get out of bed being Fred or Mary.  Be Fred or Mary doing a continual act in the privacy and secrecy of your own boudoir.  There is a way in which, past a certain point, your whole life becomes an act.  (Lest your ordinary voices object that this seems to be a form of intentional shallowness, that when it comes to being shallow, the Buddhas and Moseses were in a class by themselves.)  When a person has gone beyond the place where their sense of "I" is the culmination of all their hardwired voices, they are no longer the voices:  they become something very simple.  But in that sense they do a continuing act.  Life did not make them that way, not the life that runs 99% of humanity.  Ordinary life is everyone else:  the sinners, the many, and you in your routine condition.

     Related to that is the feeling of "distance" many people experience once they get involved in This.  They sense a period of feeling distant from others, of becoming less human -- of becoming shallow.  That sensation disturbs the voices of the sinner's camp -- the voices of ordinary life -- in some people.  The feeling of closeness which ordinary people describe is simply the bonding structure of the Grid itself.  It is routine and cannot give any ultimate satisfaction.  But once you have begun to be freed from your own mechanical behavior, you can, in a way that can't be described, bridge the gap between what is running you and that which is still driving everyone else.  Through your act you come closer, in truth, to feeling something for other people than those who are wired up to believe they love someone.  Ordinary closeness, brotherhood, and love are certainly commonly expressed, but the majority of murders all over this planet are done by close acquaintances, and a large percentage of those are done by blood kin.

     What you may initially experience as distance from ordinary people comes from understanding that they cannot help what they do (any more than you can at Line level).  It is simply that you understand what is going on with them and you are no longer a part of it.  You can fake participation if you need to, but I am talking about Fake it with a capital "F".  You could even (not that it would produce some kind of continuing miracle) make the person feel better.  You could do it, all the while having no mechanical feeling one way or the other.  It is only those who have some distance from the source of mechanical behavior who can see it and understand it.

     A final note on the continual act.  People ask me how to handle the resistance they feel to another person who is speaking to them.  Try this:  specifically ignore ANY voice in you and turn all of your attention to what seems to be the voice of the other person.  No matter the apparent quality or lack thereof in what they are saying, turn all of your attention to it.  I might also add, keep your eyes open to what you can learn.

     I want to speak briefly now about parallel time in relationships.  For a man and woman in a relationship there is the possibility, to say the very least, that the primary seat of operation is in one circuit for one person and in a different circuit for the other.  Not only might they be operating primarily from different circuits, but they can be moving at different tempos.  This can be seen in the obvious ways:  "Why are you never ready on time?  Everything you do takes too long," to ways that cover longer segments of time, even years.  That is all I care to say just now, but you should consider that the next time you have a complaint with your mate.

     Now let me bring up something else:  Life will try anything once.  A particular piece of avant-garde music by a modern composer, for example, might obviously never become widely popular -- but Life is willing to play to a limited audience.  Life is "dis-specific":  it will try something that is never going to have an expanded audience, something that is here today, gone tomorrow.  But this leads to a kind of diversity that is necessary for an overall omnigrowth.  It is, again, not the kind of thing you will find in a police state.  You will not find anyone there publicly playing music that has a limited audience.  A police state is not going anywhere; it is not in the kinetic flow of Life, but it is serving a purpose because it is conducting one of the Three Forces, and without all Three Forces, the triad would fall apart.  If you could do away with what you consider evil, it would be the end of us all -- there must be diversity.  Life tries something here, then it tries it over there, and it apparently keeps trying some of the same things with only slight variations.  Were it not for Life's ability to try anything once, we would be done for.  Life itself must include near-chaos in its own spectrum of freedom.

     I will close by mentioning something about the rearrangement of what I have ofttimes referred to as the forces.  How about political parties becoming their own opposites?  In this time and place, the largest political party in this country is by ordinary definition, the epitome of urbane, civilized, conservative thought and deed.  But this party was initiated in revolt and was regarded as having the most outrageous and liberal political philosophy of its era.  It is now, a good many years later, almost its own opposite.  To your mechanical voices, which might point out that although the name is the same, the membership is different, and so my observation proves nothing, I say:  it, proves everything.  It proves everything, because those voices are correct in their "explanations" -- but they cannot See.