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Summary by TK
Jan Cox Talk 173, Sept 5, 1985, runtime 1:57
[“BURDENSOME BEHAVIOR" Identification of several areas of burdensome, unprofitable attitudes/behavior in some Group members. ]
[This Thing is not a "common denominator commune". Not based in Blue Circuit or Red Circuit. Yellow Circuit thrust requires less and less of "imposed" feeling of religiosity and cohesiveness. This Thing must verge, at all times, on bedlam, chaos, disintegration. Those of the Group who regard This Thing as a kind of church/community are a burden in their weakness. Relation to the inexperience inherent in relative lack of horizontal age. In other times those of too few years, too little "world experience" were indiscriminately turned away. Not so much the case today, but negative aspects remain.]
[Some of the Group still believe that the mechanical Primal Flow thru them is a real "I"; take themselves seriously, personally. This is very unprofitable; wastes J's energy and time, as well as all others.]
[Some have the feeling of a "Great-Truth-yet-to-be-revealed". Don't hold your breath.]
[Too many of Group imagine things about J. personally--his personal life. Fascination with "Big Daddy".]
[REMEMBER: The mechanical flow, the impersonal flow of energy thru you which results in the feeling of a personal "I" and simultaneously the feeling of something wrong, an "enemy within" with which to wrestle--struggle against the "Not-I"-must not be taken personally. This must be seen, understood and remembered or you are lost. ]
[Questions:Who would be satisfied to know everything you could ever know? To know everything you couldn't know? Who would be satisfied to gain the ability to override/suppress the clamor of the ordinary voices within? Who would be satisfied to be a Real Person, not a hat-person?]
[At 1:33 begin reading of Group papers.
EXPERIENCE IS EVERYTHING
Document: 173, September 5, 1985
Copyright (c) Jan M. Cox, 1985
Experience is everything. Whether your goal is one of learning to roller skate, to speak French, or whether your extraordinary pursuit is the activation of your nervous system above Line-level consciousness, the bottom line is still experience. And, experience comes, not only from length of involvement with an activity, but from the actual doing of that activity. I can hurl the most potentially revealing verbal missiles in your direction, but if you do nothing with them you gain no experience.
This Thing is at the cutting edge of Life's development. The form of This I direct blazes a trail into Life's Fourth Circuit and this is what distinguishes what is possible here from anything else. (Because, just as you still have an operational Red Circuit which demands proper feeding, Life, too, has operational lower Circuits requiring food.) Variations of This continue to operate on a Red Circuit basis. People in other parts of the world, even people living in primarily Yellow Circuit based polyglot cultures are involved with activities aimed at the Red Circuit. Other organizations from religions to would-be mystical groups focus on the Blue Circuit. And, Life even has a few people engaged in forms of This based in the Yellow Circuit, such as the writing of intellectual commentaries on holy scriptures or ancient mystical mysteries.
All these variations are necessary to the growth of Life. If they were not necessary they would be extinct, and, regardless of how my words may sound to your ear at Line level, I have no criticism with any of these activities. But, none of these activities touch the needs of a new circuit and that is what we are doing here.
In groups out in Life, an identified focal point serves the purpose of holding them together. From one viewpoint, it is better if the focal point is dead, but, if alive, the group is distanced from the leader, the focal point. This leaves them imagining, "What a wonderful person he must be. If only I could get closer to him." The leader is attributed with the characteristics, the wisdom, the understanding deemed apropos by each person's "I." And it is natural for those of you involved with This to want to imagine personal details of my life. But, if your Aim is to activate your higher circuits, any imagining about me is nothing more than a waste of your time and energy.
Another sustaining force keeping groups together is a commonness of belief. The stories of the Bible are a part of accepted reality for millions of people. And, even though Christianity has split into thousands of denominations, even though infighting occurs, these beliefs offer the feeling of cohesion and community. These beliefs identify Christians as Christians not Moslems or Jews. Every other form of religion, every would-be mystical group has their own set of beliefs, their own rituals providing this cohesiveness necessary to Line-level consciousness.
For the Few involved with This, the beliefs of any existing or historical religion, are irrelevant. I am not telling you whether the stories forming the basis of these religions are either true or untrue. Nor am I passing judgement when I tell you these beliefs are irrelevant to your attempt to activate your higher circuitry. These stories may or may not have taken place, but it is just as likely that what is recorded bears almost no relationship to what actually transpired. Because, what is remembered and recorded is the absolute black and white: the absolute rules and regulations. But, I assure you, if any of the ancient religious leaders did exist, what occurred between them and their core group was not black and white; it was at the borders of absolute bedlam.
Some of you feel This verges on bedlam; at Line level you long for the security of established order. But, for This to meet the needs of a new circuit, absolute bedlam must be the constant. I superimpose very little order on This: we do not pray in unison, meditate enmasse, or greet each other with secret handshakes. No one pays homage to me. I put forth very few rules. All of the mechanical methods establishing a sense of community, identifying a cohesive group are absent.
In a sense, what holds This together is my energy and a commonness of Aim; the Aim to activate your higher circuitry. And those of you who feel this is falling apart, those of you who cry out for clear cut directives are those least committed to this Aim. You continue to take what I say as theory and lack the actual experience. And, I told you experience is everything. Without the experience, you cannot develop your higher circuitry. If you simply continue to take what I say as theory, if you are satisfied to become "yes men" applauding my words and never doing anything with these verbal missiles, you are not serving the common Aim and you are not assisting Life's continued development.
When you continue to take what I say as "theory," the Yellow Circuit wants to talk it to death. It would seem quite natural to the Yellow Circuit for me to introduce a new map and it say, "Let's talk about it." And you imagine that we would sit around for hours discussing, debating the relative weirdness of this theory. You would have the opportunity to impress me with your own weird thoughts. But, the day is past for such methods. They are far too indirect. You can talk something to death or you can bring it to life through your own experience.
To even undertake This, you must already have a certain amount of Life-produced experience behind you. Years of routine, every day, hum drum living form a necessary foundation. Historically people were not admitted into groups involved with This, until they reached a minimum age, because without sufficient horizontal experience, vertical growth is impossible.
The horizontally inexperienced, the young, want to talk me to death. On the basis of their dreams of what a mystical experience would be, they ask me, "What do you think about reincarnation? Do you think a Gemini can ever activate their higher circuits?" They want to tell me about every book that ever impressed them, or how the director of such and such movie must be connected with a secret school because of all the subliminal cosmic messages he directed into the script. They expect me to recount my great moment of epiphany.
But, I understand, beyond theory, how it is to find someone you believe knows what you want to know; how you want to grab them, impress them with your experiences and show them you have the makings to become their right hand man. I understand because I have been through it all. But, people doing This in the way I am doing it have no right hand man, and trying to tag This to anything you've already dreamed or heard about does not promote your accelerated development.
This Thing has nothing to do with theory. It has nothing to do with any weird ideas you've entertained in the past. Anything you believed in before you came here, reincarnation, astrology, whatever the name, has nothing to do with This. In two or three cells of my little finger I understand the basis of those interests; Life understands them. But, for the purposes of activating your higher circuitry, they are no more useful than your childhood beliefs in big, green grizzly bears living in your closets.
As long as you continue to listen to your voices at Line level, as long as you continue to try and mesh This with anything (no matter how mystical sounding) you already believe, you engage in absolute folly. You attempt the unprofitable. And, it will finally kill whatever potential you might have had to ignite yourself above Line level.
If you still listen to your voices at Line level, if you still believe the personal flow running through you is your "I," then you still take This as theory. You have experienced nothing. A mechanical flow runs through everyone, and to continue to take it as "I" is to remain absolutely blind, completely isolated from everything I have ever said.
Anyone seeking experience should find the question, "What am I going to say next?" interesting, to say the least. At Line level, no one can really hear this question. And certainly, no one can remember it. Because at Line level things are not arranged for anyone to question where their internal voices come from. But, when you move outside the realm of taking This as theory, you can see that: "I don't know what I'm going to say next. I never have known, plus nobody else does either." And once you see this, how can you continue to take the personal, mechanical flow, running through you as your "I" personally?
As long as you entertain the notion, that your internal voices are you, you believe an enemy resides within; an enemy apart from the "I" which conceives of this enemy. All humanity, from leaders of religions and countries to the winos in the street feel as though this "I," this internal enemy, can and should be repaired, rehabilitated and re-educated. And, Line level's acceptance of this enemy is the basis of the universal feeling of dissatisfaction and compulsion for change. At Line level there is nothing wrong with this feeling of dissatisfaction -- it's absolutely necessary. It's the Line level's belief that change is possible and that provides the fuel for Life's continued horizontal growth and expansion. But, this horizontal expansion is on a scale that's not perceivable or relevant to one individual's lifetime.
Through your own efforts you can accelerate your growth and find, "This flow running through me, producing my "I," my consciousness, is not personal. There is no enemy separate from the "I" naming the enemy. This flow keeps me alive, makes me human, but the flow is impersonal. If it were personal, I could tell you what I'm going to say next. Everyone could, and no one can. No one even knows what they're going to do next." Yet, as long as anyone remains captive of the Line level, as long as anyone take the flow personally, he or she takes everything very, very personally.
Left with the continual feeling, "I do have an enemy. I do have faults apart from the "I" which perceives them," man perceives Life as unjust and uncaring. You, and everyone else, think, "I am always one step out of sync. When Life waltzes, I tango. When Life tries to lead, I, too, try to lead and Life and I bump noses, step on each other's feet."
Life, continually has parts of its body support and rationalize this feeling of injustice. Areas of Life still give credence to the idea of sin and of man having to pay off debts to the gods. But, Life simultaneously hints of another explanation behind what man perceives as inequitable. I continually point you toward the underlying nature of growth using everything from twists on mythological tales to particle physics. But, as long as you take the impersonal flow as "I," your nervous system will vibrate sympathetically to every cry that, "Life is unjust." You will become the seventy year old man bemoaning the downfall of civilization. "Sure, we were a little wild when I was growing up, but look at kids today. I'm telling you, Life is going downhill at a fast clip." And, Life is not going downhill.
When you cease taking the impersonal flow, personally, you can See: Life is expanding. It's growing. And the process of change, of growth, requires the existing structure be mashed, bent, broken, plowed under or slaughtered. But, Line-level consciousness cannot See the process of growth; it only perceives destruction, injustice. Binary consciousness can only see duality while Life operates in triality.
What you take as your flows, the enemy in you, are not personal flaws, they are part of the impersonal flow. You perceive them as flaws because Life considers them as flaws. But, just as no part of Life's body can take control, declare certain behaviors in its body flawed and wipe them out overnight, at Line level you cannot suddenly erase these so-called flaws. Growth does not occur in such a straight line manner. Life, in its own time and speed, considers change, considers what behaviors man will display in a future time and everything Life considers man considers. What Life, may in a future time eradicate, man today calls human flaws. But, today, these behaviors are still a necessary part of Life's body at Line level. To See that Life is in the midst of an absolutely, delightful explosion of growth, you must See beyond the duality of Line level. You must See triality and when you See the triality, you see, there is no injustice. But, to See any of this requires experience.
As long as you think my words are "theories" or, on the other hand, as long as you accept my words as gospel and forgo any understanding on your own of the reality they point towards, you learn nothing. You accept lies. Everything I tell you, every map, every query for your own exploration is based on something quite real, but the reality lies not in the words -- the reality lies in the experience.
I gave you the word Neuralizing; I described it in various ways. I told and continue to tell you to Neuralize such and such, and yet, there is no such thing as Neuralizing. I made the word up. And, if you are satisfied by the word and never attempt the process and possibility it leads toward, you accept a lie. You are back taking the personal flow as "I." Because, anything you do not personally understand through your own experience outside your hard wired confines is a lie.
You will go to your grave still awaiting your moment of epiphany if you passively wait for the revelation of a great, central truth. The stories persist of teachers drawing their inner core of followers aside and whispering the "truth" to them; telling them, "God is love," or, "The secret is moderation." But where have these revelations gotten you? In a sense, I have told you everything Life knows right now, and many of you still think you're missing "a piece of information" which will pull all this together. You're still waiting for me to wave my hands and shout, "Epiphany on you all."
Hearing more is not the issue, experiencing more is. If you could remember everything I've ever said and put it all together at once, you'd know as much right now as Life does at this level. You would be the living epitome of the most enlightened, the most spiritually minded person in the world. You would no longer be living solely at Line level.
All of the usual elements, the promises, threats, mechanical imaginings, that hold a group together are not present here. I tell you no one on this planet understands more than I do germane to our time and place, and then I discourage your imagining anything about me. I never promise you anything. I have to shake you loose from any mechanical perceptions of what This Thing is about. This is not a game and I'm not toying with you. But since This is going to get more and more dangerous and more and more fun, let me ask you this: Would you be satisfied knowing everything you desire to know? Would you be satisfied to know you could know anything else you wanted to know? Who would be satisfied to, at the very least, have spasmodic moments of being ignited above Line level? To have your consciousness elevated into a realm not limited to individual human perception? To warm a fourth circuit to the point you can override every lower, mechanical voice telling you an enemy lives within, that Life is unjust? Who would be satisfied to know what you're going to say next?
Who would be satisfied to be a full-fledged person? Or, who wants to continue to listen to the multitude of little, seemingly private voices telling you, "I want to be a weird person. And, if you'll just get on about the business of telling me the missing "truth," I'll have what I want. All my current beliefs will be verified. I'll know I was right all along."?