JanCox Talk 0279

Fatal Naps At the Gates of New Energy

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Summary by TK

Jan Cox Talk #279  -  Sep 21, 1987 *** - 1:52

  [Kyroot to 0:15.]
  [The question ultimately must be asked: "if everything is as it must be, how can there be any change?" accompanied by terminal frustration ("what's the use of trying?"). The higher circuits are the ones which participate in the ongoing enterprise of evolution and are the ones subject to change--sudden, substantial change. The lower circuits need no change, whereas the younger, upper ones do require change. Thus there is the basis for a battle of 'good vs. evil' internally. The proper effort for The Few is to favor triumph of the higher circuits over the lower ones, even when it seems futile because predestined to fail.]
  [The Real Revolutionist cannot participate in the 'celebration of the Common Man'. The Real Revolution cannot be based on consensus or accord; it has no proper season, no proper time; can be no part of a 'wait and see' mentality.]
  [The Few should capitalize on 'times of trial'--emotionally pressured times in their personal lives to leap into another universe. Recognize that times of upheaval, 'improper' unseasonable times, are the most proper for change. All of the ATL and other city groups skate on the brink of disaster--of napping fatally and being thrown out--it is virtually inevitable. A continual remedial resistance is offered by the lower circuits; traps are constantly being set; inevitable downfall looms. Also remember: every victory--internal and external--is somebody else's funeral. The Real Revolutionist must be every alert to seize new power; it is always unseasonably offered and at another's expense.]
  [Consider what should be your general intention regarding This Thing? What should be J's responsibility in this? : 1.Encourage the highest possible Red Circuit health. 2. Encourage the Blue Circuit to a minimum level of suffering. 3. Help release Yellow Circuit fences and boundaries naturally ordained by birth. Provide conditions to help develop Yellow Circuit growth. 4. Attempt to feel a niche, a quickened position, in Life's Body.]
  [1:40 UFN's] ( Unidentified Flying Nevers)
  [1:51 Answer to last week's question of what ritual would ensure a new religion's success? -- Make the holy day of worship, Monday!


Transcript 

FATAL NAPS AT THE GATES OF NEW ENERGY

Document: 279, September 21, 1987
Copyright (c) Jan M. Cox, 1987

      Tonight let's jump right into the hard stuff.  One question that everyone finally experiences in some way is, "If everything is as predetermined and mechanical as it appears to be, if we do indeed seem to be within a closed system; if indeed no energy, or matter can be physically produced or destroyed, then how can anything change?  Or worse, how can anyone change?  How can people change?"  If everything is as it must be, how can anyone escape falling into some great honey-wagon full of terminal frustration over trying to change?  Is not a person's desire and failure to change not just as inevitable as everything else? And on that basis, what's the use?  What's the difference between you sitting there and thinking, "Well, I would like to ignite the higher circuits.  I wonder why I want to?  Well, I don't have a choice.  Some people want to and some don't, some can hear This, some can't.  So I must be destined to try and do This and I must be destined to end up here and other people must be destined to do something else.  What's the sense in any of this?"  Not only does one ask:  "What's the use in trying," but assuming there is a use, and nobody stops along the way and gets choked on that, then what could that use be, and how can you find what it is?  Is there a difference between your involvement here and someone else being in a mainstream religion?  You may feel sure they are wasting their time expecting to learn anything extraordinary, but then you wonder what is the difference between you and them if you can't really do anything willfully either?  Or if you do indeed experience a change, was it not inevitable?  How can you take any credit?  (If credit is at all important to you.)  If I am indeed the single source of information at this level in this part of the world and you accept that, even if it's true, then so what?  You were all going to end up here anyway?  If we were all going to end up here doing what we do, and you were going to react to it in a certain way anyway, then what's the point?  And how about the few rules I've given you about abstaining from recreational drugs, not allowing any hostility?  How could such things possible matter in the face of everything being inevitable?

     Consider that the higher circuits in man are designed for an ongoing venture of change and evolution. The lower circuits are not.  But remember too that the circuits are intertwined -- not just in the 3D world -- they are a nexus in nonphysical dimensions, they are intertwined and inseparable.  Keep in mind that the lower ones are fairly well established relative to the upper ones, and they are much less applicable to any real change; or any sudden change (sudden meaning hundreds and thousands of years).  A change that is barely measurable or noticeable in the 3D world would, to the higher circuits, be quite substantial.  The same minute amount of change in the lower circuits would be astounding.  People who hadn't seen you in a while would say, "Goodness, what happened to you?"  And they would only be able to see the surface of it.  It is the basis, also of the old saying that you can't teach old dogs new tricks.  They don't need new tricks.  Your old dogs are the lower circuits; it's too late to profitably teach them new tricks.  But along with that let me point out that you can always find ways to do something drastic in the lower circuits to create a more conducive atmosphere in the higher circuitry for other change to take place.  But that's as far as the lower circuits can run with This.  The lower circuitry cannot be enlightened.

     You could look at your early days here, your days of being a recruit (as per my revolutionary model), as being a time when you're attempting to reorder and reorient the connection and difference between the lower, older circuits and the younger, higher ones.  That's a lot of what seems to be the fits and starts you all experience.  It seems you begin to understand something different; you go for days or weeks or months without suffering, for instance, and then suddenly you're at the mercy of every ill wind.  And again you might find yourself confronted with your own internal question of, "Am I causing this re-ordering?  And if I am, then why do I have so little control over it?  It all just seems to happen.  What's the use?  Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't and I can't even pinpoint anything that specifically makes it one way or the other?"

     If indeed it still appears to you that you are living in a closed system, that I even seemed to have verbally detailed and sketched out one, so that you are left with a feeling of, "What's the use?", then the one quite valid temporary approach would be to look at it as being your own kind of apparent battle between good and evil -- all in quotation marks of course, and with a certain kind of grin.  It's your own struggle between the older, lower circuits and the younger, more dynamic higher ones.  Then it becomes a battle between your higher commitment to do This, to do whatever it is I seem to be talking about, rather than simply following your natural inclinations.  Your internal voices could say:  "This is no different than somebody struggling to be a 'good person', to live according to the dictates of his religion.  It seems to be just the same old battle -- something in me wants to do better but it runs into resistance."  Though the lower circuits seem to be the common denominator between you and everyone else, you must operate for the time being, on the basis that there is a difference; that your efforts make a difference in what seems to happen to you.  One way to look at the difference made by your efforts is that there is a kind of accountability taking shape.  The difference it makes is:  if this is indeed a closed system in which all is utterly, mechanically determined, you've got to stage a rebellion for the sake of rebellion.  And it boils down to a simple struggle between the lower, older circuits that want to do the same old stuff and the higher ones that you dream of cultivating, the new things you dream of doing.

     Nothing can be accomplished or even attempted unless you operate on the basis that what comes from the higher circuits has got to override the lower ones.  If not, you are joining the celebration of the common man.  The Real Revolutionist would never be caught celebrating the common man.  Since the time of the Greeks, poets, songwriters and authors have praised the common man; it's part of their job.  But you have no business believing in the glory of the common man if you intend to stop being you.  The common man, he who labors in the fields, he who builds shelters, is also the most mechanical and resistant to change. And do note:  the common man would forego that "honest" labor if he could, he would meet his obligations with deception, treachery, and force.  To celebrate the common man is to celebrate all ordinary human emotion:  greed, revenge, hate, jealousy, anger, nearsightedness, and stupidity.  If you want to see the celebration of the common man, just find yourself at your lowest point, go look in the mirror, and then see if you want to pull out a party hat and celebrate.  If you do, don't come back here.  Life is not growing at the common level.  Life expands through man at the upper reaches of the system.

     Real change is possible at the place This seems to touch; the place that I seem to be able to worm my way into your existence.  It's not through these small red circuit demands like not drinking alcohol, and making sure you exercise.  Those things serve to increase the available background and solid base.  But This Activity happens in the upper, younger circuitry, where you are still malleable.

     You can see the Real Revolution as being an attempted escape from the confines of the common.  And it does not mean, of course, that you must be overtly weird.  As always notice how Life produces groups of people who pursue apparent forms of This, and their most obvious activity is in what?  It is appearing to be uncommon.  They wear costumes and observe weird social practices.  Of course, they can say, " I am no longer common, I am now somebody exceptional.  It is obvious just by looking at me that I am part of a mystical group."  There is nothing wrong with that if that's what you want.  But that isn't where the Real Revolution resides.

     The Real Revolutionist has escaped the confines of the common, but not through weird behaviors, not through activity centered mainly on the red and even slightly blue circuits.  Real Revolution is secret and I might also point out that it is not dependent upon the accord and consensus of the molecular voices -- the common man -- in you.  All your voices, from your thinkers to your artists to your factory workers, will never get together and make a unified decision on anything for their own benefit.  It may appear that one could accumulate knowledge and synthesize it into a kind of consensus; a kind of learned, progressive enlightenment.  "We could hold a referendum, we could hold a vote and decide we will cease being as dumb as we use to be.  Yes, we will now listen to the new noise coming out of these higher circuits.  We will begin to listen to that and to operate on that basis."  So it may appear, but it will never happen.  A clear distinction must be seen between the decisions made by a Revolutionist to benefit his Aim, and decisions made for the benefit of the common man.

     To believe that Revolution can come about by consensus is to believe that This is finally going to make logical sense some day, that I'm going to say, "All right, look, I brought in my invisible mystical lasso and I'm going to round up all of these months and years of stuff, put it all together in capsule form and give it to you.  Most of you are, in the next hour, going to go, 'Oh, my god!  It was right before me all the time.'" You're expecting to have some kind of internal congress where everything comes together, and you and your internal people will all agree. 

     What it amounts to is an attitude of wait and see.  You believe that if you're actually okay in the lower circuits and if you just wait long enough, everyone will finally all line up in accord.  You believe that the untrustworthy parts will agree to change, and that you will then be quite awesome. 

     That, I must tell you, could never happen.  It has nothing to do with Revolution.  Revolutions do not happen by accord; rebellions are neither fueled nor sustained by consensus.  In the external world, revolutions normally fall apart on the basis that the revolutionists themselves have no accord.  They're dangerous.  Get a band of ten revolutionaries together and the next thing you know you've got ten potential new governments.  By the time they've overcome the ruling powers, they've got nine new battles amongst themselves.

     The Real Revolution is to escape the confines and the hold of the common man.  And there is no proper season for it; all Real Revolutions occur at improper times, by improper people -- not by common men, not be decent folk of the city.  If the time seems right, it is not the proper time.  No matter when you ask your People, they will always give you the same answer:  "No, the time is not right yet.  Perhaps the changes I believe would be beneficial will evolve in due time and give birth to a new day, a new outlook, a new understanding, or even a new Buick for all I know."

     Do you suppose that the great religious founders felt like they were proper men?  Nope.  Sorry, but they were in fact not nice guys at all, nor did they patiently wait for a hospitable time to do what they did. And by the same token, the apparently terrible things that happened to them, being crucified, being murdered, being hounded and ridiculed, were absolutely necessary for them to be worthy of any true revolutionary fame.  They were people whose aim was so strong, that their main concern was not to suffer, not to give in to the resistance.  "Just because they have a knife to my throat and have broken both my ankles, as soon as I start suffering about it, I'll miss what I'm here for."  If you don't see or at least recognize the necessity of using times of extreme pressure in your life, you have seriously failed to hear me.  If you do not yet see the need to use such times, then you'd better turn around to where you do.  And until you do, you are missing absolutely critical cracks, you are missing times that you can jump almost from one universe to another; you can jump time frames -- and always at the very time that seems to be the most improper. 

     In our day and time you don't have to look to the Red Circuit level for such instances of pressurized potential; these days the pressure occurs at other levels.  But everyone takes hard times personally, everyone takes trouble as being against his best interest, and that's our common man in action.  There is nothing more common than to see those times as personal misfortunes.  Out in the bushes -- where the revolutionists and recruits should be -- you have got to understand that there is a purpose for hard times (of course even in the city there is).  Out in the bushes the slogan should be:  Hard times produce hard people.

     What I have been attempting to sketch out for you so far this evening is your own internal struggle. You can regard it as being contained in a seemingly closed system of inevitable success or failure; but I suggest that a proper approach would not be to see it as a struggle between your older lower circuits and the higher younger ones. 

     People who were at one time seriously involved with me and This Activity and have left -- all of them left on the basis that their life was so oriented around the lower circuits that they lost what they perceived to be the necessary energy to fuel their commitment to the upper ones.  They just felt as though, "I cannot continue this.  Something's happened."  In the other more common cases where I've had to throw people out, it has always been on the basis that their lower circuits overcame the upper ones.  No matter the apparent individual circumstances, that was always it.  People talk a good game and the lower circuits continually fight for supremacy as they are supposed to.  And in most people the lower circuits inevitably win.

     There's an old story I've mentioned:  A man (or woman) dies and find himself before the gates of paradise -- about to confront the payoff of his life's efforts.  The sign before the gates says, "When the bell rings and the gates opens, come in quickly."  The person waits and waits vigilantly for years and years, perhaps for centuries, and finally takes a nap.  Need I tell you what happens?  Just in the split second they fall asleep, the bell rang and the gates opened.  But the noise that really caught their attention, the noise that awakened them was the sound of the gates closing.

     When I've had to throw people out, I immediately without exception, get a note saying, regardless of the particular wording, "Oh boy, have I learned a lesson.  Because now I realize that just for one split second I let myself go.  For one second I let my gonads overcome my thought organs; I let the common man supersede my commitment to This.  I know why you had to throw me out and have I learned a lesson!" They haven't learned anything.  It was inevitable.  And everybody, all of you here, you are so close to the inevitable.  Even if I suggest to you that this is not a completely closed system, that there is a way new energy can flow in and generate an extraordinary interest in This for a few people, even if that be true, I'm telling you you live just fractions of inches away from the inevitable.  You live just that far from snoozing at the open gates. 

     That is simply the way it is.  It's not an attack, and if you believe it is, you are only prey to the natural perceptions of your own lower circuits.  You're the very one that someday may drift off.  That is why nobody can be a real Jew, Christian or Buddhist.  There's nothing wrong, they're not supposed to be. Everybody of all religious stripes and persuasions sits by the gate -- and they all believe unquestionably that they now understand what it takes to be a good ________(fill in the blank).  But the gate says, "All right, to be a good blank, step in the gate as soon as the bell rings, because it will close quickly."  And everybody -- almost without exception on this planet, will finally take that fateful nap.  Don't ask me why, but Life is arranged such that every time it's your turn to fall asleep, your gate's going to open, the bell's going to ring, it's going to slam shut and you will go, "Oh, my god!  Have I learned a lesson!"  There's no lesson to learn if you don't learn it now.  The nervous system of man cannot truly learn from his past actions.

     If you're not wired up to hold a commitment, a promise, or even a threat from me, like, "Do this or it will ruin everything else", and your internal voices say something like," Oh I hear some benefit in that so I won't argue with it, I'll try to look at it in a positive way," it is almost inevitable that you're going to take a nap very soon.  And it's for sure inevitable you're going to get caught; you'll be caught being common.  For someone involved in This, you are a new definition of trash, and it just appears that I am the one who makes you leave.  But you've actually done it to yourself, and now you can celebrate the common man all you wish.

     I'm not trying to be unnecessarily threatening or pessimistic, but you're a fool if you don't realize this.  Every one of you skates that close to falling prey to your lower circuit wiring.  It's just the way things are.  That's why This Thing is so tenuous.  That's why there are so few people involved with This (among other things).  You all live, you all skate that close to a fatal nap, as far as This is concerned.  All you've got to do is go against one or two of the unconditional rules of this Group.  The rules were not made for my benefit, but because everyone has certain very common mechanical, lower-order forces that can teat a group apart, that will teach individuals apart vis a vis their attempt to do something extraordinary.  To go counter to the rules simply sends you in the opposite direction.  You're just dealing with new nomenclature for the old idea of good and evil.

     One nap is fatal for anyone involved with This.  For everybody else, it doesn't really matter (it merely seems to).  But with you it is true:  one nap, you'll be caught, and it's fatal.  I'll have to throw you out.  And after you leave here, you're on your own.

     I assure you that it becomes a fatal nap if you take it.  And it is a kind of struggle that's going on between your lower circuits and what seems to be your commitment, your interest and love for This.  But you come that close all the time to taking the fatal snooze.  And by the time you wake up -- a split second later -- and you can holler, pray, jump up and down and say, "Boy, have I learned a lesson.  It was worth it." But it's way too late.  And it's almost inevitable.  That how serious it is.  You must see that it is not a matter of luck The gate will open and close real fast one day, and your chance will have come and gone. 

     But, at the same time, let me point out that the Real Revolutionist does not look upon life as offering man rewards and/or chastisements.  The Real Revolutionist's view would be more that Life offers a continual creative potential.  It also offers a continual remedial, even rehabilitating resistance.  And now contrast this with the common man's attitude toward "hard times".  The resistance says "Boy, am I sleepy. Would I like to have sex with that person (an unavailable someone in the Group).  Would I like to tell so-and-so how pissed I am at him, etc.  It's so strong it must be natural, and if it's natural I should not be struggling against it."  You're right!  You shouldn't.  You're part of the common people; a member of the largest club in the world.  You couldn't be more common.  Only a Real Revolutionist struggles against such things. 

    You also need to be reminded that -- internally and otherwise -- in this apparent struggle, all victories are someone else's funeral.  Of course it is not a matter of anti-gods or ordinary good and evil.  If the so-called bad guys, as ordinary 3D consciousness calls the, went down into the grave, who would they take along?  You know who -- all the goody guys.  They would take Hop-along Cassidy, the Range Busters, Tom Mis, all the religious cats.  It'd just be one after the other, like a pack of dominoes.

     But you need to remember that internally and externally, every time there's an apparent victory, it was somebody's funeral.  There is a price.  Notice I put "internally" in the primary position there, and it wouldn't be the sequence you'd normally expect.  I said that "not only internally, but otherwise:, whereas you would have expected me to say, "not only externally but otherwise".  If you need a transfusion, someone else must bleed.  For you to get fatter, you've got to cannibalize someone else.  Your new energy means that somebody has lost some of what they had.  I do suggest you also Consider the external operation of this fact, particularly in regard to relationships between people.

     Another matter to note here is that the Real Revolutionist must at all times be extremely alert to seize new power -- wherever, whenever he or she can.  The Real Revolutionist can later ponder the new power's meaning, its use, its consequences.  But you must be prepared to seize the new power whenever you can, and to worry about the meaning, the use of it, the consequences of it, the theory involved, later on.  If you don't seize it when it becomes available to you, you've lose the chance.

     In any circumstance involving either an internal or external struggle, in times of pressure, times of trial, in seemingly inopportune season, during improper occurrences -- this is the time to seize new power.  You cannot entertain internal noise about, "Is this proper?  Am I somehow taking advantage of the situation or of someone else?"  It's an illusion; and worse than that, it's a waste of time.  You must seize the power, and it will apparently come to you at someone's expense.  But if you do not seize it, you are not leading the dance.  You're at the mercy of the dance, and you'll not be able to direct things toward your benefit.

     You have got to seize available power.  Triads continually break down and re-form, and someone will end up in the more powerful position.  Though what's happening at the lower circuit level may be inevitable, when your upper circuits see a situation begin to turn, you have to act.  It's a new opportunity erupting.  Let's say it's the season for bad news and before you could do anything, all of life was arranged for this situation to happen; it was like somebody dropped a stink bomb and it hit you first.  You'll know it hit you first for sure when someone goes, "Whew" and points in your direction.  Now you're it for that dance. When somebody else says, "Hello", you cannot, in the 3D world back up the film so that you can say, "Hello" first.  If you don't push first, you get pushed.  If you not acting as C Force, you're D Force.  If you're not apparently on the offensive, you are on the defensive.  If you did not kick, then you got kicked.

     Every time there is anything that's unusual enough, stressful enough, sad enough, fearful enough to strike your attention and alert you that you can't walk through it in your normal bleary, staring state, it has a particular potential for you.  If it actually pulls you out of your ordinary state, it is an opportunity to seize power; but you must actively seize it.

     Nobody will give you the powerful position in a situation willingly, and that's just as it must be.  You can't wait for someone else to stop that dance and say, "How about we change what's going on here?"  Nobody will, no one can stop and say, "Hey, see what's going on?  How about we all change chairs and feel differently and do different things than we're going to do.  And before all these feeling turn electrical, let's refuse to dance to them."  Don't hold your breath!  If that's going to be done, you gotta do it.

     The power, the opportunity is there to be seized; it may appear to be bad news, but if a Real Revolutionist does not grab bad news and choke it and eat it for breakfast, it will be really bad news.  It will cost him in the same way a war does, because it is a war.  It's a struggle between your trying to do something, to learn something, and everything in you that doesn't want to struggle, everything that's lazy, stubborn, tired, dumb, disinterested.  When the part of you that wants to seize power lets an opportunity slide, the opportunity is lost and you are weaker for it.  The parts of you that do not want to operate are now stronger.  Every time you seize power, it is a victory, and you got it at someone else's expense -- that's just the way it is.  You may as well forget notions of love or brotherhood or charity.  Whether you got it someone else did is a matter of whether the part of you that wants to succeed in This got the power, or the part of you that wants to resist won out.

     Let's ponder a couple of questions for a moment:  What should be your general intentions in being involved in This?  And what should my responsibilities be, in general?  This was just something that I thought about on the way here tonight that could be a proper sort of summing up of my talk tonight, since we've hit on some pretty harsh realities here.  It is curious that I would ever sound like I was trying to reassure you people; that I'd be concerned about sounding too pessimistic or harsh.  Perhaps if it sounded harsh to you, it WAS harsh.  Remember this:  appearances are not deceiving -- appearances are appearances.  But as to my responsibilities and yours:  one would be to encourage the best possible Red Circuit condition for all of you.  The next would be to encourage Blue Circuit movement that would bring ordinary suffering down to a minimum.  Regarding the Yellow Circuit, our responsibility is to break down and release Yellow Circuit boundaries that were ordained for you by Life; for me to offer you the new data necessary for you to continue to develop there.  And I could conclude this set by saying that through all of my map-making, instruction and suggestion, tasks, activities I try to assist you in realizing and specifically feeling a particular niche, your own place in the quickened body of Life.  That is the difference between living in the uncomfortable, unstable, nonstop sense of This, and just existing.  Some of our former participants tell me (after I threw them out) what their life would have been had they not met me.  But you cannot realize your place in Life's body after the fact.  You are back to existing.  You are back to playing out your destined role.  You are back to the point that indeed any question of, "Can I do anything freely, or is there no freedom?  So what's the use?" is a correct statement.  Not sad, but correct.  (Things that are correct are never sad.)

     The correct state of affairs is the correct state of affairs.  And you only waste your time trying to affect the inevitable in you, or worse yet, in someone else.  And even worse yet, ignoring that you must see to the inevitable in you or it will overtake you.  At which instance you'll be celebrating the common man again. Your nap will have been took; your chance gone.  And nothing strange happened, nothing mystical happened.  Hunger, anger, horniness -- at least for a split second -- took every grand dream you ever had. 

     The closest I ever come to getting the blues is to see an uncommon interest and commitment to This in some of you, and for me to nourish you -- to prop you up -- and then to see you take a nap for just one second.  And you know it's too late, even when you don't know it:  "No wait, oh yeah, oh yeah, I see.  Boy, have I learned my lesson."  No you didn't.  If you don't learn the lesson in advance, you're never going to learn it.  The lesson is that you're skating this close to being the inevitable.  You're skating this close to being that common, ordinary ongoing venture where you have no ability to affect what you do.  None. That's the closest I get to being sad.  And if I could be doubly sad or get the blues times two, it would be to then get that inevitable letter the next day saying, "Oh geez, it slipped up on me.  It'll never happen again." Not only are you dumb, but if there were such a thing as a liar, then you're a liar as well.  You've got to realize that there is some validity to my descriptions, my terminology, in talking about revolutions and the common man.  It's not an attack on human hunger, our bodies, sexuality.  It's simply that you're going to be led by the lower circuits or commit yourself to developing the upper circuits.  The struggle for power between them is a continuous one, and it must be attended to continuously.

     You must finally see that there is an insane reality to This.  It can't even be logically defended.  Let me conclude by saying this:  it may come down to the fact that it's just inevitable.  It's inevitable whether you can get up real close to the secret in a lifetime or at least get close enough for me to give you a swift kick in your last days and make you bump into it.  But how about getting there now?  It remains to be seen how close you can get to the Secret while I'm still alive.  But you have got to understand, you must see your common side.  It's in me; it was in all your heroes; it's in every human that every lived.  I'm laying on the word "common" but all you people know by now, that I'm not attacking humanity, or anybody not involved with This.  From one view, THEY are right and you are wrong.  From one view that's true, though it is not correct.  But you cannot drop back down to the common level.  You do not get a second chance when you go back to that level.  And in conditions regarding your relationship to this group, me, and this whole activity, whatever the heck it is, there are certain times and certain places when the season is right, the time is pregnant.  And if you let the lower circuits take over just for an instant, it's over for you.  I can't forgive you.  I can't undo it, you can't undo it.  If it happens, it was inevitable.  And if you're not constantly prepared for it, then it IS inevitable for almost all of you.