Kneeded - ( possible that the only version exists within the audio - transcription needed.)
Summary by Cfish
Jan Cox Talk 2568 - Aug 23, 2000 -
Copyright Jan Cox, Jan’s Legacy 2015
Notes by Cfish July 2015
Suggested Title: Beyond “The Thought of Awakening”
[reads news items for 7 minutes, starting with:
Everything comes from somewhere else.
Everything comes from some place other than where “the mind” says it does.
For the temporary sake of tonight’s comments lets say that, “being awake” is whatever “being awake” is.
But that there could be something potentially even beyond that.
Which would be to separate “the continuing sensation of being you” from your mind’s sensation of ”you.”
I say that such a feat would make merely being Awake look childish.
Consider the “one thought of awakening.”
Whenever it comes to mind, momentarily displacing the other thoughts, (sleeping, mechanical, etc.) superficially, the thought of awakening has failed - if being awake is a condition wherein - the only thought in your mind is “the thought of awakening.”
The “thought of awakening” will always think it’s failing. (Great news if you can handle it.) The simple truth is this. The mind does not understand what it is. Notice I did not say “the mind” can’t understand what it is. There is no root problem to life, save death. No thoughts - no problems.
In the ordinary sense, the mind minimally, is exercising its potential in listening to itself talk. While being awake is pushing this possibility to its limits. Ergo “being asleep” is a condition wherein there is no discernible difference between the speaker and the listener.
05:00 Contrary to popular proverb, “The counterfeit exists only because the real exists” for our purpose tonight, It’s the opposite. We would not be trying to awaken, if the air was not thick with mistaken notions, widespread beliefs, of being awake.
Seeing and getting to the bottom of this activity requires the appearance of methods, in achieving it, which are the only ways. Whatever being awake is, there is something beyond that.
Safely, and with potential profit set aside, the idea of “trying to wake up.” Simply “I am trying to separate my sensation of being “me” from “my mind’s” sensation of it. You are not your mind.
10:00 There is nothing, more slippery, for the mind, to conceive. It’s easier to follow the pictures, speculations, and mind experiments of physicists on time and dimensions. Ordinarily, all you have is “the mind’s” sensation of you. I say there is another sensation of you. (can’t describe it)
It is where “waking up” would go if people kept on with it. Metaphorically, its down below the atomic level, of what all this is about.
15:00 “The mind is attempting to look at itself.” That is all we are and have been doing. Anyone who say its anymore than that (destiny, cosmic forces, etc.) are further behind than you are.
I understand where it all comes from. I used to wallow in it, I don’t see how you can avoid it, but when it comes down to it you are just killing time. When you do see it, (the mind is attempting to look at itself) notice how it hasn’t been obvious all these years, twenty four hours a day.
20:00 There is a sensation in everyone apart from what goes on in your head. So when the “thought of awakening” looks around at the other thoughts, its like the other thoughts are interlopers.
There is a continuing awareness/sensation you have (everyone has it) of yourself that is not “the minds’ sensation. But the only sensation we can put words on is “the mind’s” sensation. The only “you” the mind can be aware of is it’s sensation. (not exactly true)
But if you follow it all the way to the bottom you will understand the trick involved. Try it while you are walking, driving, etc. The thought of awakening comes to mind - you stand up straight, ears perk up, you are aware of “There I was back asleep, distracted”.
And now I am not. Right at that moment, beyond that “thought of awakening” is the time you can attempt this. Try to remember right that second - try to separate your mind’s sensation of you being you - from another sensation that is different/separate from the mind’s.
And it has no name but it is there. And that is a kind of reality beyond what is generally referred to as waking up. Nothing wrong with “waking up” but this is a bit beyond that.
25:00 Which brings up the misguided proverb. Sham systems may claim to have the “true teaching” by referring to other teachings as “not being true.” For our view, they have it backwards. The mind believes certain things about itself (not fallaciously) to be true/correct.
30:00 It could be a working model you have of all this, based on reason. I am not questioning that. Just saying the reason you have “your working model” is because of the false claims everywhere you look
35:00 If you are following this, if you are getting this tricky part, there is something here that is eye opening. Proper efforts to awaken do not matter. There is no real way to awaken. And the only reason you believe there are is because of false claims everywhere you look. You breathe them.
In essence, trying to awaken has been my life. But if I had not stumbled on it in some book, I would not be doing it. (that could wake you up) A weekend mystic may disagree saying it was fate and I understand that. But I am not talking to the weekend mystic.
40:00 I am talking to you folks, who will put up with the height of unreason. Its useful to see. Something that seems innate/natural and yet if I had not stumbled on it, could I have come up with it on my own?
45:00 There is no answer. Can you picture, that me not being here weekly, conveniently, you would not be involved with this in anyway. You may be reading books on your own, but continuing involvement, even internally, just saying, there seems to be (not quantitatively) outside input.
50:00 Could you have come up with the things, you now do internally, to deal with mechanical consciousness, on your own? In case you may be thinking I changed the subject - you have a sensation/awareness of “you” apart from your mind’s sensation of “you.” Right there will wake you up. It will jar the illusion.
It is more than glimpse, if you do it several times, I think you will get something. It begins to strip and separate something in you, I have no name for. The mind has a sensation of you, which everyone on the planet thinks of as themselves. Your big stomach is the mind’s sensation of you.
55:00 The mind is the first to speak and the last to know. If you keep looking there is another sensation of you. It is there all of the time. And it’s not a sleeping mind and it’s not an awakened mind. For the moment, if you can just get your finger in there, it will start to come apart. (the mind’s sensation & this other thing)