Terrific Thursday

Late one Thursday afternoon,
a certain man turned to his brain
and sharply announced, “If things
should ultimately turn out as badly
as I sometimes fear, I’m holding YOU responsible.”


If rats had better tailors…


Over in a place where such things are possible,
a god said, “Hey, I may be a god, but I’m flexible.”


One guy of my acquaintance,
always drove with his headlights on,
whether he had a car or not.


I have two little stories to tell, and only one sheet of paper before me.  One is about a king and a reporter, and the other about a piece of knowledge an interviewer, but since they have the same punch line I’ll just relate the first one while you simultaneously think of the second.  A reporter asked a king, “Governing others seems such an iffy and imprecise business, what’s the trick?  Is it that people will obey if you expect them to obey?”  And the monarch replied, “No, it is much more than that.  I have never even considered any other possibility.”  The neuron smiled pleasantly at the interviewer and asked, “Is there the least chance you understand what I said?”


By the sex act,
men attempt to make the analog digital.