Significant Other

(Boy – talk about being “up-to-date”): This one guy’s significant other is – you guessed it – himself!



He turned out not to be as dull and dry as first suspected; it turned out that he had a passionate hobby; he was determined to “make water confess.”



Here’s another one that some of you may not believe, (but that has no effect on it, anyway):

One guy used to tell his inner friends that he was “going off for the weekend to have some fun,” and then would secretly just go round the corner and slip back to see what they were doing.  (Well sure, now that you’ve heard it, you believe it.)



One guy got so old he forgot to complain about it; a similar thing occurred going in the opposite direction, but the speed limit of light is such in some corners that what seems so on the one hand, seems so on the other.  (Physics and age are both – if nothing else – magnanimous in their magnanimity.)



Being rich is like having a fancy ship that others will try to sink.  Being subversively intelligent is like having a fancy, Spartan raft, that can go damn near anywhere and won’t show up on radar.