Weekend Update

On certain worlds
the periodic prize is –
they give you a dictionary,
then blind you.


Whenever he had to be out at night in a strange city, for protection this one man would carry the score of a Schubert piano sonata.


One father’s advice to his expanding son, “Whenever things reach a ‘fever pitch’ – call for a designated hitter."


In an attempt to make better sense out of what he was saying, this one guy shut up.


Be-growled one grizzled chap,
“The injustice of a terminal world
is that old men do old men things.”