Civilized Machinery

There was this one guy, see, who had two views of everything:  The view he believed in and supported, and the one he did not; he said that he got all his best exercise keeping the two apart.  (Many of his friends marveled at what poor shape he was in.)



While attending one of those, “This Could Be Important Stuff" auctions, a chap sidled up to me and said he’d heard a lot of “Daily News” items read, and just wanted to tell me that none of them apply to him…and even those that do – shouldn’t.



A famous guy was asked who his biggest influences were, and he pretended to think for a moment (which is all famous people have to do) and replied, “Everyone who’s dead, ‘cause they can’t comment on me.”



In civilized machinery,
if things aren’t working
at cross purposes,
they aren’t working.



Apparently experiencing a fit of inclement temperament during his address at the college’s graduation ceremonies, the president of the school uttered these memorable words:  “And so, as you leave us and go forth to take your assumed places in the everyday world of business, science and academia, remember this, you squirt-heads:  If you sound like you know ‘what you’re doing’ – hell, who knows! – maybe you will.”