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Summary by TK
Jan Cox Talk 98, Jan 12, 1984, runtime (?)
Aging = increasing of D-persuasion. Hillbilly songs and autobiographies are excellent examples of D force.
Seamless Universe vs. fragmented (ordinary) consciousness. ]
[Science is Life's process of division-dissecting-analyzing itself (form). ]
[Any map with edges (seams) is no valid map for This Thing. Therefore no valid maps! ]
[Life manifests thru man thru forms and forms cannot explain themselves. ]
[Another way to Consider energy: necessary growth information being spread (including by calamity and death) and transferred.]
[Real Acting = never forgetting that "this is just an act" without judging good or bad, or expectation of some consequence. Don't listen to some voices commentary re: the activity. ]
[Remember to: REMEMBER. Life is speaking --not individual men--and you can only hear a part, e.g., one note or one section of the Universal Mormon Tabernacle Choir. ]
[Kyroot: "Life too struggles to expand and grow, and one must either assist in spreading manure--or be the spreadee."
[TASK: 48 hours shutdown--no incoming info (music, talk, etc.) May combine with fasting for 24 or 48 hrs.
THINGS ARE EXACTLY AS THEY APPEAR
Document: 98, January 12, 1984
Copyright(c) Jan M. Cox, 1984
Everyone should be familiar with the slogan: "grow or die". The business world even uses this slogan for its primary operating principle. No one worth his corporate bonds seriously believes he can run a thriving enterprise by growing it up to a certain point and then saying, "Well, that's it. That's all the money we need to make, so let's just hold down the profits to $5 million a year till I retire." No, serious business people are out to make money, and they know, without understanding why, that either their pocketbooks are expanding, or they're shrinking. There is no in-between. If a thing is alive, it must move. While it is moving, it can not stand still. Go forward, slide backward, run around in circles -- at least pedal your feet fast enough to tread water, or you'll surely fall to the bottom of the pool and drown.
Alright. Now you should have a glimpse of the fact that Life, This thing in which we all live, also needs to continually expand to grow. After all, Life is the author of the saying, "grow or die". And humanity's growth and expansion affects the Life of Life just as liver and blood cells, with their tiny lifespans, affect the life of the human body.
Well, I'm here to tell you, the prognosis looks good: Life is growing. If it were not, we would not be here; I would not be what I am; none of this Activity would be going on -- any more than you will continue to walk around after your heart, liver, and kidneys turn in their final time cards. But you should begin to notice how deceptive any simplistic picture of Life can become. Living organisms do not grow only by expansion: they require death and recycling just as much as apparently straightforward growth. You may need your liver to last as long as you do, but your liver does not expect to hang onto each individual liver cell forever. Liver cells have little lives of their own, and just like parts of the Big Life, they are born, they mature, they decline, and they disintegrate so that newer, fresher liver cells can take over. Life consists of lives within lives, within lives, within lives. And depending on where you're standing, it can seem as if there is as much death going on as life at times.
Just look at the ordinary aging process if you want a prime example. The older you get, the crankier you get, the more conservative you become, and the more fault you find with everything in general. Every morning you wake up more prone to jump in with the crew whose truck reads: "D persuasion practiced here". What's happening is very simple: you're dying. You're over the hill, you're on the way out. Sooner or later Life will boot you out in favor of a newborn child who seems to know nothing at all. Even at a fairly early horizontal age, the human system shows unquestionable symptoms of age. That's the way things are arranged and that's the part humanity is supposed to play. By the time you reach maturity, your circuits have all been adequately imprinted; all the pathways and connections that will ever be activated are activated, and almost the day after the process is completed you start showing signs of decay. There's no great mystery in all this -- you can See it everywhere you turn.
Look at your own life: you finally graduate from college and realize now you have to work for a living. So you get a job, maybe go ahead and marry your sweetheart, and bam! Suddenly you've got a kid and mortgage. You change overnight from a college dissident into a political conservative, pack away your avant-garde tapes and plug into tuneful nostalgia. Even while your first child is still in the womb, you anxiously pay a visit to the local kindergarten to make sure there is some sort of organization working to keep your kid from taking up drugs. You are showing every sign of beginning to die.
Now the purpose of This Activity is not simply to keep you from becoming a horn-rimmed accountant rooting for suburbia, but you've got to See that as long as you are working for "D" force, as long as you remain critical, as long as you are in favor of the status quo, you are dying. You are supposed to die: it's part of the game plan. You are supposed to die even before the body lies down and quits, because somebody has got to be operating on behalf of "D", and when you hit 21 or so, you're automatically nominated. You slowly begin to lose your "drive", your "edge". You begin to have less and less interest in trying new things, and less interest in even hearing anything new.
If you're Here, you're an adult. If you're an adult, you've already got the disease; the process which started when you were born will eventually run its course and dump you over the final cliff. But the question you should be asking is, "How fast am I willing to die?" Forget all the imaginary stories about life after death. How long are you going to live while you're still alive? Because for you Here, it is possible, in a very particular sense, to stop the ordinary death process in its tracks. And if you can do that you won't have any questions about what happens when the Red Circuit finally shuts down and falls to the worms: you will know Life in a way no ordinary person is supposed to experience it. But you have got to stop that living death process now. You have got to open your internal ears and learn to recognize the "D" voices playing louder and louder, and do everything you can to shut down the volume. There is no tomorrow, because if you don't struggle with it now, sooner or later you're going to become tone deaf. There is no ultimate cure for your individual life, after all.
You might Consider something else along this same line: autobiographies are almost total "D" Persuasion in action. I don't care if the author is a famous actor, a politician, or somebody you've never heard of -- it's always the same thing. It's a book full of heart-gripping tales about the ups and downs of life, "My sad story and all the problems I've had". You should recognize this anyway -- you're living your own autobiography in your head, whether you ever write anything down or not. All autobiographies carry with them the stink of decay, a moaning and groaning over the fragments of life that hurt, and the fragments that made no sense.
Life, however, does not actually consist of fragments. On the contrary, Life is a quite seamless reality unlimited to the reality Man now sees. Only those caught in the grip of the death force see things in terms of fragments, and your ordinary mind is as much a part of the cycle of death as your hands or your liver. Ordinary consciousness was born in the binary world of time, and can only count up to two. It can only give its allegiance to one or two. It divides Life into things it can accept and things it must reject, and it applauds one and forever fights the other. One, or two little fragments -- that's as far as it can count. The ordinary mind must always remain blind to the fact that in the invisible, seamless universe those two apparently opposite sides are always in total communication.
Real Life is seamless, and the ordinary mind sees only seams, fragments. That's why someone who Sees cannot simply tell someone else the Secret. And that's why you're never going to find the Secret by following any of the fragmented, precise maps you expected when you first came here. Such ordinary maps will never show you a seamless universe, because they're too stable: they contain rules and regulations and borders and boundaries and "you can'ts" and "you should's". All such divisions will show you is more and more fragments. What I have been weaving Here is a seamless picture, and only relatively unstable, changeable maps have any potential to point you in the direction of Life's seamless process of growth. All religions, even all forms of contemporary mysticism, attempt to See Life by dissecting it, and it can't be done.
You remember the old stories about the first scientists to ask the question, "What is this universe we all live in?". And do you remember their very first attempt at an answer? It was, "Let's see if we can reduce life down to its smallest particle, its littlest component, and then we'll know how everything got built up to be the way it is." They're still trying, you know. As the human mind becomes more sophisticated, it develops more and more precise ways to divide Life into smaller and smaller components. It invents technologies for breaching the limits of ordinary vision so that it can look at things smaller than the human eye can ever see. But it just can't seem to find the littlest angle. No matter how hard the mind looks, it always suspects there must be someplace smaller to look, some tinier corner, or hitherto invisible crack. It dissects, and dissects, and dissects, and then wonders why it can no longer see even the outline of the frog on the dissecting table. Ordinary Man does not understand why he can not pierce the secrets of the universe, because he does not realize his only tool -- his binary mind -- is totally inadequate for the job.
You've got to turn around and look in another direction if you want to see what Life is all about. You've got to forcibly put yourself into the stream that's expanding and get out of the puddle that's shrinking. You're never going to find the answer to the universe by any method of deduction, because deduction is part of the "D" force, the death cycle, and the living reality of Life can only be Seen holistically.
Now how are you going to See holistically with an instrument of deduction? You can't, that's how. If you're Here, you've probably tried every method of deduction known to ordinary Man, and if you haven't, that's probably because you figured the ones you didn't try wouldn't work any better than the ones you did. Congratulations: you've just taken the first step towards a new "eye".
But don't forget that the process of building a new "I" is a process of growth, and growth contains death as well as expansion. In fact, in one sense, you could say that in order to grow Here, you must die quicker than usual, to allow room for new life. That which doesn't allow for death is already dead. Even my maps are always dying, changing, and turning into new maps. I tell you something, and then a little later, I seem to contradict my own statement. I leave you with an idea one week, and you follow it out and find it has all kinds of loose ends. So you keep coming back and then I never tie it up for you -- maybe I never mention it again. I may have no intention of ever mentioning it again. I'm leading you on, but in a way no other part of Life has ever led you before. I'm leading you on toward a new growth in you that can See the invisible universe, and to do so I have to continually rip the seams, shift your focus, and blur all previous edges.
If my maps were ordinary maps -- if there was a top, and a bottom, a north and a south, you would have nothing. You might have still another hobby, but you wouldn't have the kind of information it takes to do This Thing. Any map which claims to be "the map", with everything you will ever need to become "more conscious", is not map at all. It's just another piece. If you take it for the seamless whole, you're no better off than any other segment of humanity holding a little piece of apparent reality. If you've got a handful of pieces, at least realize they're pieces, and try to connect up some of the dots.
One of the first real shocks you will run into is that Life hands down all its explanations of itself in terms of form. All those messages people mouth about higher perception exist on the basis of form. Scientists aren't stupid, they're just limited to the world of forms, and as you should begin to suspect, no form can ever explain itself. It simply can not. You can spend your entire lifetime analyzing the forms of your behavior, and when you die, all you leave is more complicated forms of explanation for the forms of your behavior. Your ordinary mind must divide things into fragments and forms, otherwise it could not function. If your brain did not place boundaries around things, it would not be able to see them at all. If it did not separate your body from the body of a cement truck, you might step right out into traffic, and that would be the end of any definable form of you. Ordinary consciousness at this stage of evolution must divide everything into "I plus not-I" in order to exist.
You are Here listening to me because you need to know more than what ordinary consciousness can show you. And there is more. But to See it you're going to have to develop a new organ of perception. You have to deliberately activate those parts of the human circuitry that Life still has no use for in the mass of humanity.
The next little shock will be when you do activate some of the higher circuitry, and you realize that there is no need to resolve the problem of forms. There's been nothing wrong with your mind, except that it has always attempted to understand Life on its own level, the level of forms. And all its attempts to understand the binary world have been useless, because there is nothing to understand. Forms are exactly what they pretend to be: forms. When you taste the reality of a seamless universe, simultaneously you will understand that the seamed universe also has its place in the scheme of Life. Forms must exist on one level of development, and worse than that, you See that the forms actually do explain themselves, but only on the level of form. At the level of ordinary consciousness a form is exactly that -- a form. There is no need for further explanation: things are exactly as they appear. Tattoo it somewhere on your body, preferably in washable ink: "No form explains itself on its own level because people don't talk, Life talks. And on a higher level, all forms explain themselves because all they are are forms".
I know it's difficult to See at first. You see criminals running around loose, and you shake your head and think, "That's just a symptom of the society we live in". Ok, if that's just a symptom, then there must be a root somewhere, a solution to the "problem". Right? Wrong. The root is in the source of Life itself, and the Source of Life requires "D" force as much as "C". Life requires criminals as much as it requires solid, upstanding citizens. There's nothing wrong with criminals in the overall pattern of Life at this level. They are not "problems" to be solved, because there are no problems. There is only energy flowing through people, forward and backward and out into areas no human can ordinarily see. The limits of the perceivable universe are not necessarily the limits of the real universe, and what appears to be a problem on one level can be Seen as blatantly necessary on the next.
Perhaps this helps you to understand why everyone feels education is so necessary. Everyone feels if only they were smarter, if only they knew more, they would be able to spot the root of all these annoying symptoms. But do you See that on the level of forms, there is nothing but symptoms? And symptoms are nothing but forms, and forms are nothing but energy. And energy is not a problem, it is the very stuff of Life.
But look a little farther still. Why does humanity feel driven to identify the roots of all its "problems"? Alright, I'll give you a hint: although "D" force is necessary for the growth of Life, "D" still represents death, and Life overall is pushing through Man, for expansion, or "C". So simultaneous with the message "you must kill you father-in-law", down comes the message, "killing father-in-laws is bad, peace-on-earth-good-will-toward-men is good". Now we're back to where we started. It's all a question of what fragment you play in the Life of Life, and whether you want to remain in the puzzling world of fragments or get up where you can See that the universe is seamless. The energy that seems to be a "problem" is simply necessary growth information being passed along within the greater Life of Life.
Everything you have ever complained about, all your apparent shortcomings, the long wait for the gods to show up and slap you up to a higher level of awareness, have all been on the basis that you expect forms to explain themselves. You've been grappling with symptoms, and you'll never See Life that way. Life is not symptoms, it is what it is. And how it is, is seamless.
You are seamless. You just don't See that yet. You have to understand that individual humans do not create matter. They don't start off like hollow, blank things and then fill themselves up, via experiences, with this thing called "I". That viewpoint is merely the product of a consciousness which is itself fragmented. You are all woven into the fabric of the universe itself, which is seamless. You are all of a piece with everything else. As soon as you think you have seen a seam, rest assured, you are back in the hands of ordinary consciousness. Whenever you think things have "gone too far" in a particular direction, you are back below Line-level consciousness, looking at symptoms, looking at seams which appear to divide "too far" from "not far enough".
Ordinary humanity, from the beginning of the development of its Yellow Circuit, has always had difficulty with this business of symptoms. Everyone sees symptoms. Everyone is very adroit at finding symptoms. But you should notice there has been very little progress in finding what the Yellow Circuit claims it would like to find: the root cause of all these symptoms. It can not, because it is simply not constructed to see more than symptoms, and symptoms are forms. Finding more and more symptoms in an attempt to locate the "cause" smells slightly of trying to cure cancer by putting more bandaids over the wound. The mind can not heal the "problems" because it can only look down at the cracks in the pavement. It will never find the source of a problem because there is no source to a problem. The only source of a problem is the information that Life needs to transfer for its own growth -- and if you are following me, that means there are no problems.
This is another way you can Consider energy: as necessary growth information being transferred within the body of Life. This energy/information is spread around in ways that often look, from the ordinary viewpoint, to be destructive. That's because you only see the form of it. You see apparent widespread insanity, calamities, wars, mad people, and it appears destructive, inexplicable, and certainly unnecessary. But it is all part of the appearance of the Primal Flow after it has been divided into forms. Some of the information, particularly what looks like destructive energy, may actually be dead information. Life may be using that information to eliminate dying parts of itself in order that it can grow further. Certain parts of itself may have become increasingly useless, and so it "kills them off". To you, this appears insane, and more than that, it sometimes appears so frightening that you believe if it goes much further, Life will destroy itself. And of course, you are right, if it went too far, it would. But what you never See is that it does not go too far, and it never does destroy itself. It merely goes as far as it has to, to eliminate the dead matter it can no longer carry profitably. Everything Life does serves a very good purpose. Everything humans do, everything humans think, everything humans feel, serves the necessary function of transmitting growth information in the Life of Life.
Look at this business of "problems" and "destructive symptoms" in another way: look at Life as a living grid in which each of the wires must have enough tensile strength to tie everything all together into a seamless piece. Nothing can be destroyed by Man, and nothing can be created, either. It's a living piece of fabric, composed of fibers all woven together, and it has no apparent boundary in any direction you care to look. And it is not static: you pull on it in one place and everything else eventually is pulled also. It needs a certain kind of tension just for it to be woven all of a piece -- if there were no tension, there would be no fabric at all, and if there were no movement; pushing and pulling things around, it would not be living fabric. And it is living, most definitely.
Imagine what this piece of fabric would be like if it were completely tensionless -- if all humans composing parts of its fibers felt no tension, no pull, no movement one way or another. No destruction along with the apparent "good" energy. Can you See that it would be dead? There must be a kind of tension to the fabric, but Life is not necessarily limited to the ordinary definition of the word "tension". For something to be alive, there has to be a kind of "rudeness" to it. There has to be "color", blood in the cheeks, electrical and chemical energy holding the muscles in balance. Without that tension, without that color, all you have is a dead body, a corpse. Take the tension out of the grid system, and everything in the ordinary world would stop cold. Dead. Perhaps this helps you begin to See how Life can allow certain processes, certain energies like drugs or alcohol, which seem to relax the tension, and simultaneously send out messages against drugs and alcohol. It needs relaxation in certain areas, at certain times, and it also needs to control the slack so that all the tension doesn't go out of the fabric.
You should be able to connect some of what I have just said about tensile strength to a recognition of the need for ordinary hostility. Hostility provides necessary tension, a necessary control of the flow of energies. That's why everyone feels the need to be hostile. Life needs your tension to hold everything together. If you had no tension, if you had no "rudeness", no "ruddiness", your Red Circuit might continue to pump blood for another 60 years, but you would not, in any human sense, remain alive. And if all hostility were eliminated from the grid, from the fibers called people, Life would have killed itself as surely as if it had allowed apparent "destructive" influences to go far enough to tear the grid fabric completely apart.
Consider how you manifest this tension, this "hostility". Relate it to another thing: your sense of separation from all the other fibers of the grid. When you are born, your wiring tells you you are different from everyone and everything else. You feel a sort of isolation within yourself. This is your first experience of a seam in the seamless fabric. And because you feel that you are separate, you also feel a certain sort of panic, a sense that you've got to compete for your place in the scheme of things. Somebody's got to get ahead, and somebody else has got to lag behind. You're an individual, not connected to whatever people-fiber may be "succeeding", so you feel you are, as a separate somebody, more of a failure than that other part. Or, if you seem to be ahead, you feel more "successful" than your "inferiors". Do you See how Life has created tension here, built it right into the wiring? And do you See the connection with the necessity for the ordinary mind, the Yellow Circuit, to be built on a binary pattern that must see only divisions and cracks and parts and pieces? No fragmenting, no hostility. No hostility, no destruction. No destruction, no tension. No tension, no Life.
I am trying to stretch your perceptions here, trying to stretch the maps, run you around in circles and expand the limits of your fragmented awareness so that you can See more of the seamless reality living right in front of your nose. Forget the idea of mystical states: just expand your consciousness to the point where you begin to strain the natural boundaries and structure of your binary Yellow Circuit. Hostility, war, destruction, are a continual passing of information within the grid. It is a kind of necessary tension. I have called it, on the human level, hostility, but all these descriptions are just names. The reality is that there must be a certain kind of tensile strength holding everything together or this grid system would become so relaxed it would fall apart. Loosen the strings far enough, and the violin will not play. The whole universe would become one gigantic slumber party.
You should be able to carry this idea of the need for hostility further, for your own ends Here. Now that you can begin to See the true nature of hostility, you should also begin to See that the information passed along between humans as hostility, has a limited usefulness for anyone Here. That sort of tension holds Life together, but only on the level of its present development. It serves Life beautifully at this stage of its growth: it serves no purpose for your individual expanded growth. It holds things as they are, which, if you are Here, is not where you hope to remain. Consider this: when you first came across me, however you came across me, you were as fully expanded, as grown, as you would ever be in your ordinary life. You were as conscious, as electrically activated as needed for Life to keep you alive playing the human that is you. And you should also realize that as long as you are living within this grid-work, Life needs you to continue to assimilate and transmit certain kinds of information, certain kinds of energy, within the grid in order to help keep the tension of the fabric. You can not help doing that, as long as you personally are alive. You are not separate from the rest of the fabric, remember -- you are woven into it along with everyone else and everything else. Only ordinary humanity feels itself to be a separate piece and therefore grumbles at the apparent need for certain kinds of transmissions within the grid.
You, however, do not need to transmit all of the information coming to you within the grid. For certain energies, certain information, you have no choice. You must eat, your blood must flow, and certain information must always be passed around. But if you wish to expand on your natural state, you must limit certain kinds of information, such as what I have been calling hostility. And since hostility is built into your natural system, limiting it will not feel "natural" to you.
This gets a little further into my idea of "real acting", which is an attempt to do that which is not natural for you. Real acting is not the same thing as trying to adapt to a "positive image" in order to get beyond ordinary hostility. You read books on the power of positive thinking, the benefit of imagery: "trying to be a better person". Under ordinary conditions, you can read such a book, or hear a lecturer selling his "positive outlook", and it sends tingles down your little spine. You feel, "Yeah, that's right. That's how we all should feel. That's how we all should act. We should all love one another and be creative and push forward and do good things." But that's not it. There is a difference between really acting and believing that you have adopted something -- which is no change. Real acting means you never forget that this is an act. You never forget it. You don't lose one persona and take on another, you hang onto everything so you can begin to smooth out the seams, not make more seams. And while you're acting you can't even evaluate it: you can't think this or that about it. Thinking "here I am trying to do this thing" is all part of ordinary attempts at change, and can not help but bring in other thoughts, like, "yeah, I really am doing this, I'm doing something wonderful, and I wonder if I'm going to screw it up." You can't let beliefs and opinions and judgements creep in, or you'll trip yourself up. It's very hard, real acting. You feel as though the pressure is unbearable, that inexplicable obstacles are continually being put in your way. But real acting means you never forget, "This is an act". Don't ever forget that. If you are shy, it would be quite proper for you to put on an act of boldness, but don't ever forget that it is an act. Don't put more seams in, don't divide your consciousness of the wholeness of things any further than it already is. And don't look for any particular results, either. Just remember that it's an act, keep your eyes open, and you are on the right track. Anything else is not real acting.
Anytime you attempt to act and you listen to the voices in you which say, "Hey, this is quite a thing -- it's even natural -- I should have been doing this all along", you've already blown it. You're no longer acting, you're trying on a new hat. You're back transferring ordinary information. You must act on purpose, and you must remember that you are acting on purpose, and you can't think any more about it. Don't think about how good it is, or how well you're doing, or what magnificent things are going to happen to you as a result. Just remember, and just act.
If you can act, and not forget that you're acting, you will start expanding your system. You can See things you would never have seen before. You begin to get glimpses behind the forms, you begin to smell something going on other than symptoms. But remember you can't ever forget that it's a willful act: if you forget and think you're looking at a symptom, you're simply involved with new symptoms.
Here is something else to remember. Every time your system reacts to someone else with a feeling of criticism, you are back in the land of forms. Nobody is talking; there are no individuals, Life is speaking through people. Everybody is singing a chorus and the whole world is a choir -- you just can't hear the songs. You hear individual notes; you see individual pieces of puzzles, and maybe you don't like that particular note or sequence of notes. Your wiring system only picks up bits and pieces, like gibberish, and some of the gibberish sounds wrong to your ears; but Life is talking through the whole, and what it's saying as a whole can not be wrong, because Life is the ultimate source of all growth. Life can not be mistaken. It can not be wrong. It can't say anything dumb. But it is fragmented on the level on which you can hear and see it. Over there are a number of people who say they are in favor of "goodness", and over there is another group robbing a bank and getting away with it. One of them has got to be wrong, and the other right -- right? Wrong. You don't understand how these two parts of Life are connected, how they are in communication with each other. You can't See the whole fabric, so you see seams. All conflict, all internal ambivalence looks the way it does because it is only a part, and you can only be conscious of parts. It is the nature of fragmented consciousness to only pick up parts of the total broadcast.
Life speaks through everybody. Simultaneously. That's not a defense of individuals or their actions because people need no defense. It's not an apology because they need no apology, either. You can't criticize what an ordinary individual says, because he isn't saying anything. If he's saying something, then you tell me what you're going to say next. No one is responsible, not you, not them. Life is speaking and Life knows what it is doing. You've got to be an irreversible idiot to believe you are more intelligent than your Host. You can't teach Life anything -- that's what you are attempting to do every time you entertain internal voices which criticize another human. You're in good company if you do, of course. In fact, you're doing just exactly what Life wants you to do. But you're not doing This. This is an attempt to get up in your own system, to where Life, itself, Sees all the different parts of the seamless grid, including its messages where one part criticizes another part.
In a sense, with its criticisms of one part for another, Life is trying to grow you higher, but you'll never hear it as long as you believe you are hearing other humans speak, and as long as you believe you are superior to Life.