Jan Cox Talk 2565

The Thought of Awakening


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Summary by cFish

Jan Cox Talk 2565    -  08/16/2000
Copyright Jan cox, Jan’s Legacy 2015

Suggested Title: The Thought of Awakening

Begin:  As much fun as “trying to awaken” is, even more fun, is trying to understand what “wanting to awaken” is? In light of that I wrote: A man wanting to awaken is a person who wants to believe that they are better than they are. 

Not withstanding man’s ability to make fellow creatures of his species laugh by words, the most singular, mark of man is in his concept of making himself better than he is. After survival essentials, men seek mental entertainment (books, etc.) and improving themselves. (religion,etc.)  

And the top of the list is wanting to awaken. (enlightenment, etc.) Wanting to awaken is the ultimate grasp at making one’s self better. To simplify it is “the thought of awakening.” Each man’s mind has an ever shifting preference for one of the thoughts. (ex. good or bad)

But those wanting to awaken have taken the preferences to an unheard of extreme. And rather than flowing along with the fluid nature of the mind’s preferences they constructively attempt to impose their own preference on an unchanging permanent paradigm.

Their goal is the superior thought of awakening. And not the lesser, distracted, sleeping thoughts. (ex. envy, greed, self pity) The ordinary mind is not extensively, engaged in becoming a better person. It’s a fitful activity subject to the vagaries of life’s conditions.  

05:00 Ask yourself what precisely does it mean to make yourself better - we are talking non-physically? It is an amazing idea that a creature who did not make themselves, can make themselves better - non physically. In a clear, cool, light it’s dumbfounding.

10:00 Looking back at sixty years of misguided efforts (I find amusing) I believe is the benefit of never studying with anyone. I always had plans and even a list (replaced later with a pocket mirror) but to those naturally, or who adjusted I insist:

To try on your own, to narrow down what this is. What thinking thinks this is. (ex. waking up) If you stop and try to look right at it (waking up) you have no idea what it means. I am not saying to quit trying to “wake up.” 

15:00 But just think about what thinking, thinks this is, in parallel while trying to “wake up.” Every day and every hour, in parallel to “the thought of awakening” just keep looking and you will see it. Its like a higher grade of octane to “the thought of awakening.”

Your mind may say it knows what being asleep is but agreement does not mean understanding. Paring “the thought of awakening” down is greater fun, than trying to awaken. It is addictive. It is an increasing satisfaction and benefit in paring it down.

20:00 Humans are singular in our wish to improve non physically. (education, religion, etc.) (Not withstanding the ability of one human to make another human laugh. Dogs for example, when playing around, mostly the young, entertain each other thru movement.)

25:00  After all these years “my mind” still does “there I am asleep again.” That is when “my model” for tonight hit me. “A man wanting to awaken is a man who thinks he is better than he is.” Ordinary minds have a low opinion of pretentious people. 

So fleshing it all out, people like us, people who want to awaken, have this thought, (ex. being awake, enlightenment, etc.) and when they first heard or read about it, said internally, that is what I want. And that “thought of awakening” is all it takes.

30:00 “The thought of awakening “ is all it takes. It is all that is necessary. The ordinary weekend warrior may disagree. But if you keep looking you will see it. I assume all of you are sincere in effort thru out the day. And when the “thought of awakening” comes to mind it “believes” it is superior to other thoughts.

35:00  Just consider “the thought of awakening” believing it is superior to other sleeping/distracted thoughts. (ex. self pity, hateful, jealous, vengeful etc.) Its physics that your mind, when taking up with memories of someone who cheated you, you are not engaged with trying to awaken.

But consider: “wanting to awaken” is the “thought of awakening.” And that is all it takes. The description covers everything. And the “thought of awakening” considers all other thoughts, (sleeping/distracted thoughts) inferior.

40:00  Your mind is almost like the split screen of a computer. The “sleeping/distracted thought”  being replaced by the “thought of awakening” but for a split second you are aware of both thoughts. Then maybe its is like the fade out at the end of a song.

45:00  Ordinary people spend their time in one of two ways. Mental entertainment, or in my model, encouraging themselves to be more asleep. Saying you enjoyed a movie or book, is the same thing as saying, the “thought of awakening” did not come to mind.

I know you folks have rhino skin from me talking all these years to be able to see that. The other thing ordinary people use is education, religion, status, money, etc. in an effort to improve themselves non-physically. (Not the same as “the thought of awakening”)  

50:00  Ordinary people look away from themselves for improving their lives. The “thought of awakening" is distinct from that. Ordinary people look to institutions (The Church, John Hopkins, etc.). It seems safer to listen to the institution (the herd) than an individual (the lone bovine).

55:00 Listening to me, you may be thinking, is looking outside myself. But I keep pointing out things, to get this thing going in your own head. Once you get any view of what this is you understand the distinction, the proper understanding of what trying to awaken is about.

You are totally on your own. With some it is a way to kill time, maybe a hobby. But a man with “the thought of awakening”, with some understanding of this pursuit, understands they are strictly on their own. Turn and look inside your head. It may be different pictures (some I relate to you folks)

60:00 You can dress “the thought of awakening up” but its just one thought. One thought is all a real mystic needs.  It’s not someone full of himself. It’s internal. It’s pared down.

65:00 Other thoughts think about other stuff. Wanting to awaken is wanting “the thought of awakening” to take over. Exceptions being paying the light bill, etc. Very few people who have the experience investigate it.  (not attacking)

70:00 I can be a better person. (more alert, more conscious) But how can a creature who did not make themselves be better than they are? In a clear, cool, light it is dumbfounding.  

73:22 End