Speak for Yourself!

Over in another reality, where such matters were of extreme importance, this one guy created quite a stir by asking his fellow guys, "What if god actually has a phone, and what if there's someone here who actually knows his number?"  (You think he's straining for a date to the prom?  No way, Ben Gay.)


Oh yeah, I happened to meet this one other chap who says that he's convinced that if he could get his thoughts as organized and categorized as the books in the library are, that he could close up early on Saturday, too.


As he was passing through the discussion reality, one chap noted, "Well, I can only speak for myself, and I'm not even going to do that."


His early mornings were completely filled with the joy of having no morning rituals.  (His plans call for extending this throughout the day.)


Out by the main palace gate, a man screamed, "Any king who would allow the likes of me to live doesn't deserve to be king!" and a guard rushed up and said, "But Sire, you are the king."  He replied, "I rest my case."