Ye Old Mailbag

Amongst today’s mail is a card from a reader who says,

“Dear Sir (or whatever your name REALLY is): After following your proceedings, (or whatever they REALLY are), for some months now it seems to me – Yours Truly – (or whoever I REALLY am by now) that we are faced with the need for a whole new definition of the word ‘perplexing.’" Sincerely, blah-blah-blah.”  

"Dear Reader:  I am hard pressed to believe that we have truly wrung the last drop from the present perception of that most splendid word.  (Thirty-Love, the fat planet’s serve.)"


When the time comes –
EVERY one catches hell. 
(But as one cosmic coach noted –
“It’s easier if you’ve got your own glove.”)


One chap who lived
in the late sixteen hundreds
did so just as a ruse.


The Official Announcer of The City announced: “To certain death, do all things go,” and a fresh face amidst the populace asked, “Does that include adverbs and adjectives?”  “Certainly not.”


One day, not long after the march of the Ides, a king sat the young prince down and said, “I shall tell you as my father told me – A monarch’s prime concerns will be taxes, religion, and foreign policy.”  And the prince thought, “Where does getting’ laid come into all this?”